Mothers with enormous toddlers in slings...

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AIBU to wonder how the feck they manage?

My neighbour has just walked past my window with her son dangling in front of her like a bloody giant in a harness!

He's almost 4! No SEN and very sturdy/capable.

We live in a tiny town/village and she can drive etc....she's probably just going to the shop down the road.

Why??

I would be grateful if you did that OneScoop

I'll take that, Only1scoop

Truly amazed that people care what others do! One of the smuggest moments of my life when I finally made it back to yoga and my teacher commented that I was coming back stronger (from carrying huge toddler in a decent sling) than pre-pregnancy. Done properly, it’s amazing exercise as well as being nice parenting (lots of chatting and cuddly time).

I actually prefer 'constitution of a pack-horse' though.

Just to really get the "children must be independent and filling in their own tax returns by 4" pearl-clutchers going, maybe she was carrying her 3 yo in a front carry as it's easy to breastfeed on the move that way

Fair enough!

lelapaletute I did breastfeed my nearly 4 year old after I had carried him in a sling to the GP earlier. (Obviously, according to this thread, being hugely irreponsible to take a sick child to the doctor, at their request. I forgot GP's are only there for varicose veins and HRT prescriptions so shall be reminding them next time I'm called in) Bm is all he can keep down at the mo so thank goodness for that! He was in a back carry or I would have fed on the move

I can also say with some authority that it's not bad for your back

My sympathy for toddler carrying Mum evaporates when I hear this, because I could NOT use a sling. I just couldn’t. And while I actually don’t give a flying fuck how people transport their kids (I use a pushchair or a sledge) I was baffled to be on the receiving end of what I can only describe as sling evangelism from some people.
‘Use a sling’
No thanks I’m fine
‘No you need a sling’
“I can’t carry ds or indeed anything for very long.”
Oh you need a sling
No I don’t. I can’t carry anything for very long.
Oh but a well fitting sling
‘I can’t use a sling’
‘You should try a sling library!’
I can’t carry him
‘You just haven’t found the right one!’

It’s a bit like the BLW cultists. Their way is the only way. Pushchairs are evil and bad and you should be literally carrying the weight of your child until their legs drag on the floor because otherwise you’re a Neglectful mother. Never mind the fact that actually no, I couldn’t carry anything, that slings are dangerous when walking on ice, and that my fucking massive pushchair (and my funky wee one) are a billion times more useful for carrying shopping and a baby and Stuff.

Can we all just do what’s OK for us without having to browbeat each other into the One True Way of BLW/slings/whatever? I don’t harangue women using slings, and I don’t appreciate getting an earful because I’m using a pushchair either.

Most bizarre

DrRanj 👍 Good for you (both!). Hope he feels better soon

My baby is 10 months and we have just about mastered sling feeding now - I feel like a superhero every time, so fantastic to be able to just get shit done while feeding! Strolled into the pub feeding last week and my friend said "that is next level shit!" and I was like Looking forward to many more months/years of slinging, feeding and sometimes both at once!

Signed, Certified Muesli-Knitting Infantiliser Of Poor Baby Desperate For A Chance Of Independence 😛

Anatidae I agree with you - people of any stripe who ignore a politely veiled "fuck off with your unsolicited opinions and advice pleasethankyou" when first issued are rude stupid fuckers who should do one. Motherhood is bloody hard, WE AND OUR BABIES ARE ALL DIFFERENT, and there is no one true way to do things. A bit of live and let live goes a looooko get way!

*looooong way, not "loko getaway"

Anatidae people are merely saying it is not bad for your back, if you don't have any pre-existing back problems. Someone fit and with a healthy strong back won't suddenly develop issues if they carry 2 stone on their backs, with a decent sling. Some people can't as they have bad backs to begin with. Fair enough. Some people just don't like it. Fair enough. But it's a valid point to say that it's not harmful if you are fine to begin with. I agree evangelists of any type are irritating. I sling but I don't preach. I will however put up a defence when busy-bodies spout crap about a 3/4 year old needing to learn independence (baffling), being the cause of obesity (I'll sling my slim 4 year old home after he's done a 2 mile mountain bike course and is knackered), looking ridiculous (give no fucks what people think I look like, not my priority over my DS's needs) etc etc.

I can also say with some authority that it's not bad for your back

My sympathy for toddler carrying Mum evaporates when I hear this, because I could NOT use a sling.

How on earth have you twisted me saying that using a sling is not bad for your back into you being 'browbeaten' into using a sling? My point was that any loadbearing, pushing, twisting etc can be construed into being 'bad for your back'. I never said pushchairs are evil. In fact, I indicated that I HAVE ONE which I can no longer use because DS2's legs drag on the ground in it.

I love it when people project their own insecurities onto other people

DrRanj You mean you can't sling them over your shoulder after feeding for almost four years?

ElphabaTheGreen I probably could, but it's just too chilly... I prefer to keep them snug in my hand knitted bra when on the move during winter. (joke.)

@DrRanjsRightEyebrow according to a pp you are selfish for bf still and only doing it for yourself
There are really some numpties on this thread.

I do think children can cope with walking more if they have to.
But obviously if they know that you have a sling in your bag, or you are pushing an empty pushchair along, they are going to ask to have a ride.

When my DC were toddlers we didn't have a car (or a sling, or a pushchair!). They could walk miles, and they learned early on that they needed to walk, not mess around, because otherwise we wouldn't get home. My DC would regularly spend all day out from the age of 2, and they would manage absolutely fine.

Now they are older, we have a car, and they complain more if we go somewhere on foot, because the possibility of the car is there. When it wasn't an option, they had to get on with it.

I have been out with parents who pack their bags with snacks too. Their children are constantly moaning about being hungry. If I carried snacks the whole time, I'm sure my children would complain about being hungry too, but I don't so they don't. Because they aren't actually "hungry" they just want a snack.

Antiadae agreed that rude pushy parents, well, people in general, are a pain. Most are just trying to help ime but it can be irritating. Some people just can't or don't want to use a sling. I love my slings and volunteer with a local sling library and honestly, I just don't really care enough to get evangelical about "babywearing". It's great for me to help others find a good carrier and avoid shelling out without trying them but I just see it as a way to get from A to B. A bit like how you can have real car buffs / enthusiasts and those who just don't like the bus.

You should start getting evangelical about sledges

I do actually still BF a nearly 4 yo! ( not in a sling though ). And she still has an afternoon nap sometimes. And I use a 3 wheel buggy if I have to go out at nap time or if she's not well. Couldn't care less what other people think - we all make our own choices.

I think it's great. My DS was a tall, skinny and wriggly baby, so I abandoned slings pretty early, but if it works for this lady, good luck to her!

AppleBarrel do you really think children under the age of 5 are that manipulative? My baby is only a baby right now, but most pre-schoolers I've met don't seem to display the necessary deductive skills to reason as you suggest they do in your post.

Can I ask how your kids csme to understand that if they didn't walk they wouldn't get home? What did you do if/when they ever decided they were too tired/bored/interested in this spiders web to walk any more?

I prefer an almost 4 year old in a carrier than racing down the pavement/road/shop on a scooter, miles from the Parent/Carer....

If I didn't have a dodgy back I would love to babywear! Would deffo be carrying my 2 year old if I could!

You can't know whether it's bad for your back or not. Back damage is regressive. When you get the injury, that's often from many years of wear and tear.

My kids are older/grown now but when they were babes, one didn't like being carried the other one did. If I was in a situation where I would be giving a piggyback or holding an older kid on a hip it was easier to have him in a carrier than holding him in my arms. Physics says the weight on my back is the same whichever I'm doing but then my arms are free and not so tired.

I carried him rarely at that age, but if we spent the day at Disney then the chances are that by the time we had to get back to the car his legs were going to have given out. I sometimes threw an old sling in my bag for that purpose. Less effort than lugging a buggy around all day instead... although sometimes I did do that.