Mothers with enormous toddlers in slings...

[CheapSausagesAndSpam]

AIBU to wonder how the feck they manage?

My neighbour has just walked past my window with her son dangling in front of her like a bloody giant in a harness!

He's almost 4! No SEN and very sturdy/capable.

We live in a tiny town/village and she can drive etc....she's probably just going to the shop down the road.

Why??

Some of you giving OP grief wouldn't think twice about commenting on something like this or someone else in a different situation in day to day life. Yet on a forum suddenly you're perfect and would never comment on somebody else? BS!!!!

This x1000

My always carried in a sling baby crawled at 5 months and walked steadily at 9 months .
At 21 months I'll still use a sling occasionally and I don't feel his weight as am used to it so we tend to be stronger through the carrying - and I had severe pelvic and back issues in pregnancy too!

I used a hip seat to carry my toddler. It was less hassle than a buggy and meant he could walk until he got tired and then hitched a ride. I used a sling to help support him sitting on the hip seat, so he couldn't fling himself backwards etc. It jus gave me more support.

My D of E backpack was 26lb and I carried that for absolutely miles, and was a teenager so still growing, and that was a dead weight. I really don't think that, as a grown woman carrying a non-dead-weight 26lb toddler for a mile or two, it's going to be an issue. All the carriers I have used are weight tested to 25kgs (4 stone ish).

I know a mum who adopted a 3.5 yo (who wears 5-6 clothed) with attachment disorder. She uses a sling to help jer child feel safe and nurtured.

I know a mum with a child with autism. At 6 yo, a "posh piggyback" in a good carrier enables her to play on the park.

I tandem carried my DDs so probably a combined weight of 30lbs.

But we all judge. For example, I think the person who would laugh at their 6 yo wanting to be carried sounds horrible.

polarbear yes using a back sling, not a front one.

LoneParenting it may be worth looking for a sling library locally - nost have a facebook presence so worth putting your town name and "sling library" or "babywearers" into a search.

There's also a useful but not exhaustive list here ukslinglibraries.wordpress.com/find-a-sling-library-near-you/

If all else fails, It's a Sling Thing offer postal hires to try before you buy. Integra carriers do a toddler and a preschool version which are my go-to carriers, but Tulas and Bekos are also simple to use (and offer more padding and a structured waistband vs Integra). Nova full buckle carriers are also great for toddlers - no bells or whistles and fold up tiny.

YANBU Looks ridiculous. Size of that kid.

brasty most back carriers aoart from the framed hiking carriers which I've never used can be used front or back. I choose to back carry but if front or side carrying is preferred and parent and child are comfy there is no reason to stop. I suspect the 4 yo in the OP isn't regularly carried in this way but a bout of chicken pox or a nasty fall at preschool can render the most confident child clingy for cuddles occasionally.

I couldn't carry my baby because it killed my back so I have no idea . I do know some people don't like buggies so I guess that's why .

Housework exactly! That child could walk!

Or ride a scooter or bike!

What's wrong with a little bike?

@CheapSausagesAndSpam how do you know the child wasn't ill? How do you know the mum didn't need to really rush for something? How do you know the child can ride a bike or even has one? Why do you even care?

Housework I have no problems whatsoever with that photo, not least of which being that the mother is using same sling as mine (and my DS is probably bigger).

OP - yes, the child probably can and does walk loads. But when she's tired? Stroppy? Mum REALLY needs to get somewhere and child just wants to stop and collect leaves? Child really needs a nap and nothing else will conk them out? My DS2 is slower on his balance bike or scooter than he is on foot. So I chuck him on my back. Please stop assuming that a child in a sling is discouraged from walking, anymore than a child in a pram is OR asserting that children can be manoeuvred into walking the same distances an adult can.

This reminds me that I need to figure out back carrying. I rarely use the sling as I am too lazy but my daughter (18 months loves it). She has been walking since 10 1/2 months but if we go out for a longish walk I can’t guarantee that after also running around the park she will cooperate on the walk home so take the sling with me. There is no way I could manage to hold the hand of my toddler and push the buggy. I so wish I could get on with the connecta or a wrap but I can only manage the more bulky connecta.

Like every thing in parent is depends on your life style. My friend occasionally pops her 4 in a buggy because she does not drive and it is a very long walk to the swimming pool. Longer walks than the average adult would do.

I remember many a time as a school aged child being carried on my Dad’s shoulders.

I find it weird that anyone has an issue with a 4yo in a carrier tbh. No one would bat an eyelid at a 4 yo getting a piggy back or being on a parents shoulders.

Steps and steep roads also not great with balance bike/scooters - around here it is 2 feet or car unless very fit and confident on a bike - we'd drive or walk to a park to use either of those.

DH is very scientific and non-hippy. He carried DD on his front all the time until very recently (now uses the rucksack carrier instead) because for us it was best. This is the guy who tolerated a baby Bjorn for 6 months because he hated the look of a wrap sling but wanted to take DD on dog walks where a pushchair just can't go!

What is a motor car if not a wheelchair for NT people?

At a time when air pollution is at unprecedented levels and recent reports suggest it is affecting the growth of unborn babies, it is very sad to see an OP that criticises somebody for not choosing the car as the default option.

I must live in a different place to all of you because I've never seen anyone with anything bigger than a baby in one of those things. Except when walking up a mountain and saw the odd 1-2 year old in a frame back carrier. Don't know any self respecting 4 yr old who would consent to being carried. Have however seen plenty of non disabled children in buggies with their knees up to their chins.

I don't think it's good for the back either tbh. I have no idea how anyone carries a child much over about 2 stone without back issues. Pushchairs really are a useful thing.

mamabear4180 you really have no idea how someone can carry 2 stone without back issues? How about some people are naturally stronger or fitter than others? Not everyone creaks when they move or needs to see an osteo on the regular you know. Having a child does not automatically make us all fragile and incapable of lifting and carrying weights. Sympathy to those who do have issues, but none here. Didn't realise people like me were such a stretch of the imagination!

I don't think it's good for the back either tbh. I have no idea how anyone carries a child much over about 2 stone without back issues

yet they do, so how about you just assume the people who do it perhaps know more about it than you?

also pushchairs are next to useless where I live, and for many lifestyles. Again I'm guessing that's an imagination stretch too far for some

mamabear4180 What do you do if your toddler won't go in the pushchair? I don't think it's good for them, me or others to have him crying hysterically when I've tried to get him into one. I still try occasionally but he freaks out before I've even let go of him after slotting him into the seat.

He's never got used to it and hated it since he was born. He weighs about two stone and can't walk unaided yet. I cannot ignore him crying when I know all he wants is to be close to me, it's heartbreaking to see him reaching for me and sobbing.

mamabear Three-plus stone 3yo and no back issues here (see also my post at 11:59 about sling use not being bad for your back). I do, however, have great cardiovascular fitness and a strong torso, having carried two children past toddler-hood (ONLY when they weren't able/willing to walk). I wore my 3yo for a 'family mile' recently - I jogged most of it and my FitBit assumed I was on an elliptical trainer. The calorie burn for me was fantastic. Lazy little bugger on my back - who absolutely refused to go another step after the first 200m, but I had to keep up with my 5yo - still demanded his medal at the end

Next time I see a huge toddler in sling etc, I will remember the carrier is practically an Olympian with the constitute of an Ox