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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Mothers with enormous toddlers in slings...

725 replies

CheapSausagesAndSpam · 06/12/2017 00:15

AIBU to wonder how the feck they manage?

My neighbour has just walked past my window with her son dangling in front of her like a bloody giant in a harness!

He's almost 4! No SEN and very sturdy/capable.

We live in a tiny town/village and she can drive etc....she's probably just going to the shop down the road.

Why??

OP posts:
Thread gallery
15
CheshireChat · 06/12/2017 16:47

This thread made me wonder if I can still use my mei tai for my toddler on NY at the fireworks show... He won't see much unless I pick him up and I can't hold him for long so the sling sounds like a decent option and better than me holding him like at the Christmas lights switch on.

As a side note, I agree with AppleBarrel, if the a nicer option exists, of course the kid is going to choose it. DS very rarely asks to be picked up by me because he knows it's not really an option (last time it was because of badly bruised knee), but pesters his dad for it.

WhyamIBoredathome · 06/12/2017 16:51

Horses for courses. I carry my large two year old regularly because she hates the pushchair. And airports are so so much easier with a sling, and as family are abroad this is useful for us.
DS is almost 4 but giant and he still asks to be wrapped occasionally, sometimes if he's ill or sometimes because he just wants me to play horsiesHmm

HouseworkIsASin10 · 06/12/2017 17:03

AppleBarrel Agree. If the option wasn't there in the first place they would have no choice. Slings or Snacks.

catkind · 06/12/2017 18:05

"Looks ridiculous" is never a good argument. Looks ridiculous just means it's not something you're used to seeing.

It's not going to be a sling designed or made for a baby. A 3 yr old wouldn't fit in that. It's going to be one designed and made for a preschooler.

"That child could be on a bike or a scooter" - maybe he has been all day. Maybe he's tired now. Or maybe it's a quick trip to the shop for something that is needed for breakfast quickly, so there's not time to go at small child pace.

I mean, sure, if the child is kept in a sling all day every day and can't walk, you have a concern. But from one incident, which child and parent were perfectly happy with, you have no idea what else they had on that day, and with a child you know to be strong and happy, what's the problem exactly?

Would you be as judgemental if the mum had hopped in the car for her quick trip to the village shop? The reasoning would be the same wouldn't it, speed and saving child's legs for reason unknown?

Mrsfrumble · 06/12/2017 19:07

DD went in a sling for a bit over the summer, at the age of 4.9. We were climbing a sizeable mountain in North Wales and she couldn't manage the last 20 minutes or so to the summit. She'd walked all the way up to that point and walked all the way down again. She's tiny (14kg and 100cm) and I'm tall and fit, and we have a pre-schooler Connecta so no pain.

I also carried her in the sling last winter when I had to go to Oxford Street on a Saturday afternoon on the last Saturday before Christmas (I know, I know!). I knew the tube, pavement and shops would've heaving and horrible for her, down amongst everyone's knees and getting bashed with shopping bags. I was very grateful that she could be safe on my back and I'd have my hands free.

I doubt we'll use the sling again now DD is 5 and at school, but I'll hang on to it for a while. It might be useful if she's ill and I need to get somewhere as we don't have a car.

The only thing that struck me as weird about the scenario in the OP's post is that it was a front carry; there's no way I could see where I was going over DD's head if I did that!

FiFiLaPoodle · 06/12/2017 19:09

A child of 4 in a baby/toddler sling is ridiculous. No child should be in a sling past 2 IMO.

I bet it looks laughable!

FiFiLaPoodle · 06/12/2017 19:10

If you are not in the UK, then where are you OP? You are British though yeah?

poooooooop · 06/12/2017 19:22

How the fuck can it damage people's backs?!.... I bet no one would say it to a dad carrying a 2yr old in a rucksack carrier, which is going to be heavier than a 4yr old in a sling.

Surely they're doing it because they're strong enough!

FiFiLaPoodle · 06/12/2017 19:25

I bet the still breastfeed them, and the kids are still in nappies. PMSL.

FiFiLaPoodle · 06/12/2017 19:25

I bet they still breastfeed them, and the kids are still in nappies. PMSL.

poooooooop · 06/12/2017 19:26

How on earth does this look laughable?!

Mothers with enormous toddlers in slings...
Mothers with enormous toddlers in slings...
CheeriosEverywhere · 06/12/2017 19:27

Why do people feel the need to be utter dicks because someone does something slightly different to them, in a way that harms or affects no-one at all?

poooooooop · 06/12/2017 19:30

I have an 8yr old and a 4yr old, we're an active family, but in order to do any walk which is remotely adventurous for 8yr old, we have to take the sling for 4yr old. Otherwise we'd have to spend our weekends doing different activities, or 8yr old would just have to do things suitable for 4yr olds all the time which wouldn't be fair.

He's currently completing the Wainwrights challenge, most of which 4yr has also done with a mixture of walking and carrying.

We also don't live in a city, so as my 4yr old isn't used to busy city life, I feel much happier (and so does she) when she's in the sling in busy areas.

Most of the time she's not in it and it goes in my rucksack. But it's there just in case.

Trollingwithmyhomies · 06/12/2017 19:32

What a load of judgy old pony. Why would anyone else care about how another parent safely and happily carries their kid.

Dieu · 06/12/2017 19:36

Ugh. I can picture it, she'll have her hair in a braid, wearing a brown smock top, and armfuls of dried fruit for when her precious one gets peckish. Kid that age should be walking.

Mrsfrumble · 06/12/2017 19:36

Looking non-pear-shaped or grey-rooted with a 4 year old in a sling, in Topshop last Christmas, for the reasons given above.

Mothers with enormous toddlers in slings...
Dieu · 06/12/2017 19:36

And of course they'll still be sharing a bed Hmm

Dieu · 06/12/2017 19:38

Pooooop, your child has the same sized head as you! She does look too old to be carried, sorry.

DrRanjsRightEyebrow · 06/12/2017 19:46

oh yeah - my occasionally slinged 4 year old does also sometimes share my bed and occasionally has a breastfeed! Because that's what suits both DS and I, and also just to irritate Dieu and FiFilaPoodle, mwahaha Grin

DrRanjsRightEyebrow · 06/12/2017 19:48

yes Poooop, sorry, because what something looks like to a total stranger should factor terribly high in your decision making process. Not what suits you and your child. What will the neighbours say? Hmm

poooooooop · 06/12/2017 19:55

dieu that's just google stock, not me and my dd.
I have to disagree with you though for the reasons I've explained why I still carry her on occasion

poooooooop · 06/12/2017 19:58

I have a bed sharing 8yr old Shock

FiFiLaPoodle · 06/12/2017 20:04

It looks laughable.

DrRanjsRightEyebrow · 06/12/2017 20:08

best stop then. I care deeply what FiFiLaPoodle thinks I look like. Really, it's so important to me.

GreenBook · 06/12/2017 20:32

Poooooooop - looks like a nice cuddle to me, and much better than being bashed around at waist level in a crowded shop.

I carried my (then) 4yo for the last time when we did a cliff walk (so buggy, scooter and bike all unusable) and she couldn't manage the last mile up the steep hill at the end back to the car.

Also when I had to wake her up from her nap to collect dd1 from school (yes, some 4yos still nap) and she was sleepy and grumpy.

Oh, and when I had a quick change at Paddington (pre-booked tickets, reallly needed to catch my train) and I wasn't sure she could make it fast enough. Anyone who knows Paddington will know why I really didn't want to use a buggy (lots of steps, few lifts), and its definitely not the place for scooting or cycling! Especially as I also had an older child and luggage to manage.