Mothers with enormous toddlers in slings...

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AIBU to wonder how the feck they manage?

My neighbour has just walked past my window with her son dangling in front of her like a bloody giant in a harness!

He's almost 4! No SEN and very sturdy/capable.

We live in a tiny town/village and she can drive etc....she's probably just going to the shop down the road.

Why??

It's weird. Why would you carry a 4 year old?
That's a growing child, not a baby/toddler.

DSis was in a shirt and tie by that age.

And the comparison of 'well you'd happily put a 4 year old in a car' makes no bloody sense.

Just to add the sling I use is specifically designed for toddlers not babies and I carry him on my back.

If the kid really is nearly 4 I'd say it's a bit weird! Not a chance my 3 yr old would let me do that! Definitely not my cup of tea but if it makes them happy I guess....

In terms of manual handling ..you shouldn't be lifting anything over 16kg and carrying more than that even in an ergonomic carrier can cause musculoskeletal damage. Mums might not be feeling it now but in a few years they will feel that extra weight.in the same way someone who is overweight will damage joints, backs and ligaments.

I have a disabled 23kg 8 year old that I have no choice but to deadlift some days.

If a child is 4 ...realistically they should be walking, tired or not. Also waking from a nap...why would a 4 year old need to nap ?
My just turned 5 year old walked round eurodisney from 9-22:00 for 5 days with few complaints. You need to allow more time for the child and independence.
Yes they are still little but it but it should be encouraged.
I have noticed in our school ...the carrying mums are the ones with less confident children who hang on to mum...some if them still doing it in year 2.....
Although it's your child, your body and your life.... Do with it as you please...we parent the way we need to!

I would absolutely use a sling with my 3.5 year old if I didn't have back problems and was physically capable of carrying him far enough!

We just bought a carrier. It cost more than our pram if I'm honest. 0-4 years is the recommended age.
If you buy a proper carrier it is made for carrying 4 year old and without causing damage to your back. Just like a big rucksack.
There's a difference between a proper carrier and a sling.

I think otherwise healthy parents should be fit enough to carry their child up to 6 yo

Why on earth would anyone want to carry a 6yo? I have a 6yo, she would be horrified if I was to carry her.

Zoomaa the vast majority of sling wearers are pointing out that they only carry their child after they've walked and run around playing and are tired. They only have little legs and have to work twice as hard as you to cover the same distance.

I fail to see how carrying a toddler will lead to obesity in later life. The evidence is leaning towards the cause being your parents attitude towards food and exercise. If a parent is fit enough to carry their toddler child (must be fit if most people on this thread can't seem to carry their children without damaging themselves) then chances are they have a good attitude towards exercise which is beneficial for the whole family.

Where i live they have baby-wearing groups and meet ups etc - which I'd never heard of before. Would suggest to me that it's not just a convenient way to get your kids around but that it goes deeper somehow. I don't get it to be honest.

Why can I only lift 16kg? That is an arbitrary number to apply to everyone on the planet. 16kg is nothing really, before I was pregnant I was regularly lifting 100kg at the gym. Evidence shows it strengthens bones and helps avoid osteoporosis in later life, plus strengthening muscles helps protect your body in accidents. I doubt you would make much progress if you had to stop at 16kg.

Direct your attention to something else and mind your own business.

You're making yourself look stupid.

I carried DS1 until he was 4 and DS2 until he was 3. I doubt I'd have been doing it if they were obese!

At 17, I was lugging a 3 stone rucksack across the Lake District for 4 days on the DoE award. That's the weight that DS1 is scraping as he turns 7. So hypothetically, I could fit him in my 65l rucksack and go mountain walking with him. I have put him in the rucksack for a laugh, and with the ergonomics of the bag, it was surprisingly comfortable.

So with a background of backpacking, starting off with a 9lb baby in a good carrier was small fry. As they grew, I got stronger. Toddler carrying spared me the inconvenience of a double buggy. When SPD struck in pregnancy, it was easier on my posture to back carry a 2 year old than lean to push a buggy.

I'd happily raise a challenge to the sceptics to race my DCs at junior parkrun

CupOfFrothyCoffee Yes, I'm aware the original thread referenced 4 year olds, however some posters had noted that 2 and 3 year olds should be capable of walking several miles.

You've taken my comments out of context by omitting my first sentence 🙄

For the record though, 4 year olds get tired too. I've got a just turned 4 year old. She's a great walker, always has been. But I'll let her sit in the stroller or carry her a bit if she's tired. 4 is still only wee.

Good for the child - oxytocin and all that.

Good for the mum - weight bearing to prevent osteoporosis plus oxytocin all that.

Why ever not?

Generally speaking, the best thing you can do to prevent "bad backs" is to be active and build up the muscles in them.

(Wonders if the "bad back" critics also angst over runners' knees)

Meh.

I carry my toddler on my back so that I can actually get where I need to be at some point this year. I carried both his brothers and neither of them are obese, clingy, lazy or entitled.

It's not some complicated lifestyle choice, or philosophical parenting decision - it's just a way of getting from point A to point B at a reasonable pace.

I'm also neither grey-haired or pear-shaped, whatever that has to do with anything. I do occasionally wear long skirt, mind you.

The front carry is the only odd bit as far as I'm concerned.

I regularly back-carry my 20kg 3yo in a sling (Toddler Tula, if you're interested - note the word TODDLER, so not a sling intended at all for babies). If anyone has any tips to 'just make him walk' when he's tired and/or in a strop and won't move, I'd love to hear them! I can't put him in the pram anymore - his feet drag on the ground because he's so tall.

I have been known to stick his 5yo (tall, rake-thin) brother into the same sling if he's being particularly obstreperous about getting a move on, or refusing to move. The same child did 6 miles around Paris in one day on foot, so I'm not remotely worried that I'm stunting their independence thanks.

I can also say with some authority that it's not bad for your back (I'm an OT working with patients post-spinal surgery). A decent ergonomic sling is a far better way of carrying a tired child than on shoulders, hip or piggy-back which I'm sure all of you throwing your hands up in horror at older children in a sling have done on many occasions. Pushing a pram isn't that great for your back, FYI, especially double or heavily-loaded ones. Carrying additional stuff like balance bikes and scooters that your child isn't using, that you've taken out because you can't POSSIBLY put them in a sling if they won't walk, is also not great for your back. So that argument does not wash, sorry.

For the record: I'm 5ft 6in, 60kg, not pear shaped, haven't a grey root in sight and can't remember the last time I wore a skirt.

There are some rude, judgemental fuckers on this thread.

I carry DH in a sling. Bonding and all that and he doesn't moan so much out shopping.

paxillin, that is sooo romantic. Bet you’ve been married a squillionty years and ‘still going strong’.

Indeed. We are like the queen and her duke because of my selfless ways.

Quite a few posters are saying it's weird unless the child has special needs but how do you know that the child doesn't have special needs?

My DD is only 2 but I do occasionally carry her in a sling. She won't go in a buggy so if we're going on a long walk I put her in a sling and it's very comfortable for me, much better than carrying her when she gets tired although she will walk for quite a lot of the way before going in her sling, or she might go in the sling to walk there, go for a walk and sit in the sling on the way home. I imagine she won't need a sling for this reason by the time she is 4 but I'm sure some children get tired still. I also use a sling in front carry in shopping centres as she has special needs and can't cope unless she can hide against me, I think we will still be doing this at least for part of shopping trips when she is 4.

Screw bonding - I live in a hilly old town with shit parking - and most of the direct routes involve steps. I couldn't be arsed to push a pushchair up a steep hill to get anywhere and I have enough consideration for the environment not to make unnecessary journeys to the next town so I started carrying my DD in a sling. We also do dog walks where there is rough ground and stiles rather than gates - again carrier is way easier!

Personally, I've found this thread useful! I have a SEN 2 nearly 3yr Old who won't go in pushchair, hold my hand or go in Reins and I was unaware you could carry toddlers in slings. I will now look into this. Please don't be so quick to criticise!

Some of you giving OP grief wouldn't think twice about commenting on something like this or someone else in a different situation in day to day life. Yet on a forum suddenly you're perfect and would never comment on somebody else? BS!!!!