Mothers with enormous toddlers in slings...

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AIBU to wonder how the feck they manage?

My neighbour has just walked past my window with her son dangling in front of her like a bloody giant in a harness!

He's almost 4! No SEN and very sturdy/capable.

We live in a tiny town/village and she can drive etc....she's probably just going to the shop down the road.

Why??

I'm pretty sure most obese children and adults were not carried in slings, I very rarely see anyone else using one.

I am also a little shocked that people can't carry some fairly light children for any distance. My one year old can't walk yet and he's 28ish lbs but I have no problem carrying him with a hip carry. As I'm pregnant he can't go on the front anymore but I'm getting a back carrier for him soon, plus planning on carrying him and the new baby at once.

Children get tired, I'm still going to need to carry him some distance when the baby is here and the only way I can see to do that is carry them both. He hates his pushchair and always has and I find it irritating to lug around, it gets stuck in shop aisles and doorways and would have to be left somewhere if I needed the loo.

The issue seems to be that people think it looks stupid rather than any actual concern about a strangers back or a child's independence. My dc is one of the most independent children at all the groups he goes to, other mothers who don't use slings often have their children clinging to them and refusing to go and play so I have no concerns that I'm forcing him to be dependent on me. I pop him on the floor and he's off, he might come back briefly to rest his head on my leg for a second and then he's off again.

I fully expect him to start walking once I'm very heavily pregnant, and then refuse to walk when we're out with the baby. What should I do then? Cart around an empty pushchair on the chance he might get into it? I'm carrying the baby as I believe it is best for them to help get used to the world and helps them feel secure, I can't carry toddler in my arms with them in a sling very easily.

It doesn't affect you personally if someone else carries their child, but it is upsetting to know people are so judgey of me! I don't go around thinking people using pushchairs are terrible parents, I don't judge them so why should they judge me?

I may have grey long hair but I haven't worn a skirt in years and am distinctly top heavy. Back carry is easiest. No different to giving a child a piggy back. You just still have hands!

Presumably since you've bothered to post this, you haven't seen her do this before so I would think the child isn't well or is injured and he has to be somewhere with her.

I'm pretty sure most obese children and adults were not carried in slings

Nor where most slim ones. The healthy young emperors pushed in a buggy for ages that I know certainly have developed an expectation of being served and pandered to. Not because of the buggy, the buggy was another symptom of the pandering, not the cause.

Considering I am barely scratching 5 feet and my daughter clearly inherited my 6f2 husband's height genes I couldn't carry DD in a sling beyond the age of 1,5.
Now she's almost 8 and there's no way I could lift her, my hernia always pops out when I only help her out of the shower.
At 4 years she'd be covering over one half of my body. No way I could carry her. If someone does it, fair enough but I'd be just afraid I'd collapse and fall and only hurt her.

I think the problem with nit managing to carry still small children (pre toddlers) is badly fitting or designed carriers. I used a ring sling with my elder two made of a sturdy fabriv that didn't slip. I havr noticed 11 years later there are a lot more available but some very poor quality. With my youngest I've gone for a tula (other brands are available) of the hybrid sort that replicates the position of a wrap but has padded straps etc.
Again, those carriers come in a range of quality. Some with straps that would dig in a lot. That can't make it easy as lifting children under 6 is generally still within the ability of parents.

Pretty sure that when I'm 50 my back will be feeling the decades of sitting in front of a computer all day, and not so much the few years of slinging my kids.

Exactly, slings don't cause obesity anymore than buggies! It's ridiculous people are saying that they do. Babies have been carried for thousands of years, the obesity issue is not even a hundred years old.

I was planning on letting dc walk as long as he wants and then chucking him onto my back. I don't think that's pandering to him, he doesn't get everything he wants and he does get stopped from doing things that he isn't allowed to do. He will get all the cuddles and carrying he wants though, I don't think that's damaging to him.

I am probably very judgemental. Actually I cant even remember what I did when they were 4, or toddlers, because it was too long ago.

I do particularly remember what lljkk says:
"It won’t kill them to walk."

No, but I might try to kill them considering how slow & dawdly they can be."

I only did the school run once with a dawdling ds. Then I thought sod this, and plonked him on the back of my bike, in a child seat and rode for the next few months....
I don't have the patience for this shit.

I have a 20 month old son, he's very tall for his age and was a late walker (only started walking at 17 months). He's happy to walk or go in his buggy for a lot of things but there are times when the convenience of being able to bung him up into a sling are very useful. Think going to a restaurant with limited space where you have to walk a bit of a distance from a parking spot or going through an airport.

Wow there are some horrible people on this thread! Pandering?! Snowflake?!

How about we’re out and about ALL day and my 3yr old gets tired so he goes up on my back for a rest whilst we continue with our day?!

A dog walk - about 3miles - walk into town, playgroup aka running around with his friends for an hour and a half, and then a quick trip to the shops and a walk back home up our steep hill. He should be able to do all that should he? What if he just wants a cuddle and some comfort? Should I say no you’re 3 you don’t need that grow up and be independent?

You need to calm down about toddler transportation!

badabing which just goes to show there are interfering judgy busybodies of every school of thought

What bearing does it have in your own life?
If what people posted about had any bearing on their lives at least half of AIBU would disappear! People can and do have opinions on things that dont directly affect them you know. Look at all the anti Christmas posts on here over the last few weeks for example about what other people do at Christmas, from spending money, lights etc.

Exactly, slings don't cause obesity anymore than buggies

Buggies and slings are necessary for babies who can't walk. They are not a healthy choice for CHILDREN who are almost school age and can.

If your child can't waddle a couple of miles at aged 4 then yes, you carrying them is a cause.

Dartmoor I can't drive and though I walked a LOT with my toddlers, I never felt the need to carry them in a sling!

once they hit three and were too big for pushchairs, they had a little bike with a handle for me...then a scooter.

Yes true, this thread is making me consider a back sling though as I don't drive and it might give ds some room to manoeuvre. But I tried it a couple of times when ds was younger and dp nearly had a heart attack and kept running to ds's rescue!

Laguna thank you! I can't help but feel an AWFUL lot more sneering on here has been done by those who think it's fine to lug a strapping 4 year old about on your body!

I doubt it’s a 4 y o, just a big toddler. I think otherwise healthy parents should be fit enough to carry their child up to 6 yo.

Up to 6 year olds! For short periods of time only. Nothing to do with fitness, I am short and it would kill my back carrying a 6 year old for any length of time.

I think it's the contrast between a shoulder carry or piggy back being cpnsidered normal up to 5 or more while a sling which is easier for the parent is frowned upon which I find hard to deal with. A back carry is just a piggy back but more comfortable!

I’m with you OP.

In what universe would you put a massive four year old in a sling and lug them about with their limbs dangling around you, instead of just making them walk?

Ridiculous.

How the crap do you get a 2.5 year old, who is perfectly capable of walking and will walk/run/hop/jump all day if it suits them, to actually walk further than a metre without clinging to their leg and sobbing "pick me up Mummy, pick me up" 😩 Every. Bloody. Day

This thread is not about 2.5yo children. The OP quite clearly states the child she was referring to is nearly 4yo, huge difference.

If my 6 year old said she wanted a carry I'd laugh at her!

My son is 2.5 but the size of a 4 year old and I manage perfectly fine. It's a hell of a lot easier than carrying him in my arms. Incidentally I am apple shaped with short brown hair with no grey roots. I'm not sure I fit the stereotype!

It must be damaging for a 4 year old to be curled up like that, why not a bike or a scooter like other 4 year olds. My 4 year old was as tall as a 6 year old, so that would not have worked.