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Original poster

Leaving toddler in car

371 replies

rabbitsdontlayeggs · 03/12/2017 10:38

Please settle this disagreement for me and my DH!

Leaving toddler (20 months) in the car while you go and pay for petrol. Would you do it? I would not (unless I was using pay at the pump, then I wouldn't get her out as I'd be stood right next to the car) but DH says he would and has. I'm horrified that he's left her and have said I really don't want him to do that again, he thinks I am ridiculous and 'it's only for two minutes'.

Who is UR?

OP posts:
cardibach · 05/12/2017 20:41

niklew you say anything could happen
Anything like what, for instance?

dustyparadeground · 05/12/2017 21:29

Leave in the car. Deffo

Yb23487643 · 05/12/2017 21:50

Definitely always leave them in the car, esp if more than 1. Waaaaaaaaaaaaay more dangerous to walk them across forecourt than leave them in the car. All other eventualities are far less likely than someone being hurt crossing the forecourt. I bet petrol stations hate it when kids get dragged in to pay. How’d you look after them (esp if more than one) when you pay? Do u get a pushchair put of the car to strap them in to go & pay? The question of taking them in is ridiculous & ive also NEVER seen anyone do it....... strange when u think how often this question comes up on mumsnet......

Lizzie48 · 05/12/2017 22:08

I remember once leaving the buggy behind when taking my DDs out of the car in order to pay for fuel. They were aged 4 and 1 at the time. Thankfully the buggy was still there later when my DH went to look for it later. Ridiculous, looking back.

RegretingTheElf · 05/12/2017 22:11

Gosh yes to pay for petrol deffo think I did it apt younger than 20 months!! Probably 6 months. Getting petrol is only exception though. Don’t do it for tesco etc!!

cheval · 05/12/2017 23:00

We used to get left outside pub, all under 10, with pop and crisps. But that was the bad old 60s. Kids weren’t allowed inside and parents obviously wanted a drink...

TammySwansonTwo · 05/12/2017 23:04

On the very rare occasion my husband has had to get petrol when he's had the twins in the car on his own, he's got the buggy out of the boot and taken them in with him. I don't blame him either - I wouldn't leave them in the car. I don't drive though!

Wishithoughtbeforeispeak · 05/12/2017 23:12

Ever since I have had my children I leave my children in the car whilst I fill up then if I can't pay at the pump I take them to pay with me unless I have another adult in the car then they are left, I have a fear of standing in the shop watching the car and something happening to them or to cause a fire and not being able to get to them in time it would be horrific!

foxyloxy78 · 05/12/2017 23:14

I always take mine in with me.

flowergrrl77 · 05/12/2017 23:40

I wonder if you watch your child when they're asleep.... In case something happens whilst you're asleep that is....

mumindoghouse · 06/12/2017 00:15

I was always too fearful for them to leave but then there had been a series of baby snatch stories going round at the time. I just knew I’d never forgive myself if something did happen in that 2 mins.

berni140 · 06/12/2017 06:43

I've had this conversation with the hubby too. When my dad was sick my mum went into a garage once to pay for petrol and a car bumped into our car. Everyone inside heard it and came running out. The guys foot had slipped onto the accelerator. Both the driver and my dad weren't hurt but both shook up. I always say it's a few years of your life that you have to lift in or convince or whatever. I do suspect though that there'll always be the people who are horrified, and the people who think you're over cautious!!! (We had the argument in front of in laws who rolled their eyes behind my back especially when I got carried away and said 'what if you had a heart attack in the shop and nobody knew your kid was in the car waiting? It could happen!!'

berni140 · 06/12/2017 06:44

Ps Pay at the pump is a godsend!!

ferriswheel · 06/12/2017 06:50

I had a newborn, a one year old and a two year old. Definitely more dangerous to take them out of the car.

Wassock · 06/12/2017 07:23

Out of interest, what would you do with a newborn, an 18 month old and a 3 year old? 🙄

BashfulBunny · 06/12/2017 08:53

trashcanjunkie
what would you do if you had 20 month old twins or triplets?

Quite! I have 2.5 year old triplets and a 5 year old. At one point I had 4 children under 2.5.

I time getting petrol with the triplets having their nap. I'd not leave them in the car if they were awake as they'd shout and passers by would probably think they were murdering each other, but asleep? No problem.

I also regularly leave them in the car outside our house (off street parking) for naps with a couple of windows down a bit. I'm not so masochistic that I'd risk waking sleeping multiples unless was the end of the world.

I always ask my 5 year old if he wants to come with me to pay for petrol, which he invariably does. He enjoys going into the shop, can get in and out of the car quickly and is sensible enough not hold my hand and not run off. He always asks for a token to put in their 'chosen charity' box. They usually give him several because he's cute Grin

Geordie1944 · 06/12/2017 08:55

If, as I suspect, "Please settle this disagreement for me and my DH!" really means "please support me in telling my husband he is wrong", I'd be interested to know if you are going to follow the abundant advice here that your child is safe if he is strapped in and the car is locked. When my son was little I used to make a game of it by playing an elaborate game of peep-bo across the forecourt and in the kiosk - I got some funny looks but he was happy and safe.

Original poster
rabbitsdontlayeggs · 06/12/2017 08:57

Wow just come back to check this thread can't believe there are so many replies! Well, thank you all as I said previously obviously some of us still have PFB moments even after the tiny baby days.

To answer some of the many questions:

I have no idea what I'd do if I had multiple children. I have only have one. Something to consider when another one comes along one day

I don't know what age I'd be comfortable leaving DD in the car on her own.

I wouldn't wake her if she was asleep however it's very unlikely that she'd be asleep as she never sleeps in the car unless we're on a journey that's an hour plus. She's too nosey! When she was tiny and asleep in the car I just used to lift her baby seat out and carry it with me.

I don't think the many people who do leave their children are child abusers/awful/neglectful/irresponsible. Each to their own

I don't let her meander dangerously across the forecourt. I carry her. She's 20 months not 20 years, only a big baby it's not hard to carry her! It takes seconds to unclip her and pick her up - hardly enough time to warrant calling someone a 'selfish cunt' but thanks for the laugh, aren't you a delight!

I am not concerned about DD releasing my handbrake if she was left locked in the car. I have an electric handbrake button which can't be activated when the engine is off and without the brake pedal being pressed.

I do use pay at the pump most of the time anyway. Most of the stations here offer it. And DH mostly fills up the cars on the way to work (he takes mine once a week as I only do short local journeys and it's good for a diesel car to get a regular long run out apparently). So this isn't an issue that's keeping me up at night or something that happens daily! I just wondered what others thought, that's all GrinNow I know!

OP posts:
Anatidae · 06/12/2017 08:58

Depends completely on the pump/station.

Pay at pump, fine
Rural station where you can pay, and have a clear line of sight and three steps to the toddler at all times, ok at a push
Busy one where you’d need to queue or there are lots of other people, nope.

Pick them up and carry them in. If dh doesn’t want to do that then he can use a pay at pump one. I’d not be happy with ds being left in the car. I don’t get the shepherding them across is dangerous thing - pick them up, shove them in a buggy or do whatever you normally do when you cross a road.

Also: you will get massively polarised views on this. Lots of people think it’s fine, lots don’t. It will descend into a slanging match with those who think leaving the kids ‘just for a minute’ ‘it’s locked!’ Etc is fine and that everyone else is a precious hippy.

NerrSnerr · 06/12/2017 09:08

Ana the thread has got to over 300 posts with people stating their views without a slanging match. If the thread was going to kick off I’m sure it would have done by now.

Turquoise123 · 06/12/2017 09:23

Have to say I had to think about what your question was about - never occurred to me that anyone could see this as a problem. Unless garages are huge where you are and you are going to be away for a while would never have occurred to me to take the child with me.

If they want to come - well why not ?

MissDuke · 06/12/2017 09:40

Nerr that is a matter of opinion. I personally feel that being called a selfish cunt for preferring to not leave my children alone in the car is verging on a slanging match Grin Thankfully I care more about my children than what some randomer thinks of me so I will continue to do what I am happy with Smile

There has actually been a lot of name calling on this thread. I find it funny that people are so close minded that they cannot accept that others doing things differently to them is OK Confused I couldn't care less if others leave their kids alone, I haven't saw anyone on this thread judge those parents or call them names. Yet those of us who prefer to keep our kids with us have been called all sorts Hmm

MissDuke · 06/12/2017 09:41

Anyway, I plan to continue to not leave my children alone in the car - 'selfish cunt' or not Grin

BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 06/12/2017 09:58

I'm seriously impressed at the parent who insists that it only takes "seconds" to get a 2,4 and 6 year old out of a car!

Goldenphoenix · 06/12/2017 10:02

Always leave my two in the car (5 and 20 months). They are strapped in and in their car seats, much safer there then walking across a busy forecourt IMO

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