Leaving toddler in car

[rabbitsdontlayeggs]

Please settle this disagreement for me and my DH!

Leaving toddler (20 months) in the car while you go and pay for petrol. Would you do it? I would not (unless I was using pay at the pump, then I wouldn't get her out as I'd be stood right next to the car) but DH says he would and has. I'm horrified that he's left her and have said I really don't want him to do that again, he thinks I am ridiculous and 'it's only for two minutes'.

Who is UR?

Pretty sure theres signs that say children are supposed to stay in the cars? Why would you need to get them out the car anyway, you can see your vehicle when you're paying

I always left mine in the car when i went in to pay. I think it is much safer than trying to wrangle them across a busy garage forecourt.

Personally I left mine in the car.

On risks. They are teeny tiny risks to something happening to your car or toddler.
Crossing a garage forecourt I suspect there are more accidents or near misses. Having them run off, break stuff etc might be considered too.

Only on Mumsnet do people take their children out of the car to pay, I’ve never seen anyone do it IRL.

I always left mine - the idea of getting them all out just to pay for petrol would have been ridiculous.
How many children have been abducted in stolen cars from petrol station forecourts? What are the realistic risks? They are, in truth, minimal.
Mine got left when I popped into a corner shop or the post office too and when I dropped older ones off at activities or friends houses.

Usually stay in the car but we have a weird bendy petrol station where I wouldn't be able to see them, so if there, I'd take them.

YABU overreacting to a minor parenting disagreement, this kind of judgement call isn't worth being horrified by even if you choose different things. If you trust your DH to look after your DC, don't try to make his decisions for him.

I leave mine in the car. On balance I have decided that they are more likely to be hit walking across the forecourt than in the car. And in the car they have the protection of carseats.

And the likelyhood of a fire is way way less than being hit by another vehicle.

However its personal choice and the way i do it is because it suits me. I wouldnt judge another parent for doing it differently.

I don't know anyone in real life who would be that PFB and not leave their child/children in the car just to pay for petrol.

I always leave DD in the car if she is asleep or in a good mood. If she was in the kind of mood where she was going to get upset if I left her for a few mins (rare) I probably wouldn’t stop for petrol, I’d get it on the next trip.

I also leave her in the car to nip into the local shop which is tiny and has a clear glass front. Especially in winter/wet weather it’s not worth all the kerfuffle to get her in and out when she is much safer and happier playing in her car seat.

People used to leave babies in prams outside shops years ago

If DD was asleep left in. If awake would take in. Now she's older I ask her. If she thinks I might buy her some snacks she's in like a shot otherwise prefers to sit in the car.

I always take her, and I carry her across the forecourt.

Don't live in London, live in a medium sized town near the Cotswolds.

Honestly I'm surprised by the responses. No mums I know here leave their little ones - I thought DH was in a minority!

My concerns are:
Her getting loose from straps
Choking
Kidnapping/car theft
Car getting hit

This pops up here on MN frequently, my kids are 24, 15 and 9 and they all survived being left in the car when I paid for petrol. I can't even begin to imagine the faff getting them in and out for the sake of a few minutes. And as for the "oh what if a car hits your car" scenario you could apply that to anything in life, you would be living in a state of constant anxiety worrying about all the what ifs. To have a baby or toddler on a petrol forecourt is much more dangerous than leaving them securely in the car anyway!

I mainly use pay at pump, so not a problem. But I have done it before where there was no pay at pump. But I parked where I could see the car from inside the kiosk. All I would say is make sure there is nothing around in the car that they can put in their mouth.

I work in a petrol station and a Mum left her 4 year old child in the car while she came into the shop to pay. The child got out of her seat and released the hand brake, the car then rolled forward into the electricity box. The child was unhurt but the car was damaged and so was the electricity box. Other customers have also left hand brakes off and cars have rolled into each other. So accidents can happen, I wouldn't leave a child in a car.

DS always stays in the car - always has done. Only for petrol though. My exH used to leave him in the car at retail parks I only found out recently when DS told me daddy had told him off for running in a car park - he opened the door and went to look for exH! anyway, I digress - def safer in car in petrol station!

leave the car in gear then even if toddler let off hand brake the car wouldn't roll? or is this really dangerous and something I shouldn't do?!

In if awake, stay in the car if asleep, though here in South Africa we have petrol attendants so I would ask one of them to stay by the car (and tip them on my return).

This has been done a lot on here.

It wouldn't have occurred to me to leave DD (age 2) - but having read the threads on here it actually changed my mind. She's safer in a locked car where I can see her than on a petrol forecourt with loads of cars coming and going, I now think.

I always left mine in the car. They are now 8 and 6 and still do. I think it's far safer than dragging across the forecourt.

It wouldn't have even occurred to me to take a child with me

I have always left them in the car. Especially with the petrol kiosk having automatic doors.....I had 3 kids under 5 at that point and no pay at pump (now we have).

If a car was to hit your car I really doubt it would be bad enough to be injured. Cars tend to move slowly in petrol stations but a child could be hurt whilst walking across.

My kids have never ever been out of the car in a petrol station, and the oldest is 10. The chances of choking, kidnap are infinitesimally tiny, the chances of being hit by a car (even in your arms, and don't you put her down to buy the petrol?!) exponentially greater. Your husband is keeping your DD safer than you are, your feelings notwithstanding.

Choking on what?

I take my son now - he's 4. Until he was about 3 I'd leave him strapped in unless I could pay at the pump.

I'm in London.

In fact scrub that, the risk of choking is surely close to zero while sat in a car seat, assuming no snacks or small chokable objects?! And if she got out of the car seat, you'd see!