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Original poster

Leaving toddler in car

371 replies

rabbitsdontlayeggs · 03/12/2017 10:38

Please settle this disagreement for me and my DH!

Leaving toddler (20 months) in the car while you go and pay for petrol. Would you do it? I would not (unless I was using pay at the pump, then I wouldn't get her out as I'd be stood right next to the car) but DH says he would and has. I'm horrified that he's left her and have said I really don't want him to do that again, he thinks I am ridiculous and 'it's only for two minutes'.

Who is UR?

OP posts:
RainyDayBear · 04/12/2017 04:28

I leave DD in the car, but deliberately go to a quiet petrol station where I can see the pumps easily from the kiosk. We’ve survived so far!

mogulfield · 04/12/2017 04:36

I’m really short (5 foot), so often can’t see over the confectionary stand bit to see my car whilst I queue to pay, so I always take my son in. I don’t like the fact I lose sight of my car for so long. He’s been small enough to this point that I get him out the car seat and carry him across the forecourt.
Oh to be taller!

givemesteel · 04/12/2017 05:50

I personally don't and don't buy the argument that it is safer to leave them in the car, think people use that as an excuse because it's quicker and more convenient to do so (not judging that but I don't think it's an honest reason). I get that more if there's more than one small child, but with only one less of an excuse.

Dh and I just consciously try and fill up when don't have dc in the car, if we need a full tank due to a trip etc dh will tend to go out specifically to get petrol.

I've never consciously seen a pay at pump either.

ZigZagandDustin · 04/12/2017 07:04

I don't think it's an excuse. Because fundamentally most people don't think there's anything at all wrong with leaving kids in the car to pay. So no need for an excuse.

Bbbbbbbb2017 · 04/12/2017 07:18

My 3 year old and 1 year old are safer in the car than on the forecourt. Its not like you can't see them at all times thanks to the huge shop windows.

I'm also too lazy to faff with getting twi in and out their seats which is always a battle

Bbbbbbbb2017 · 04/12/2017 07:22

We also only have one nearby pay at pump and i dont have the option of going child free

Flomper · 04/12/2017 07:25

this is one of tbose weird MN only things when, in RL, everybody leaves the toddler safely in the car, rather than in the path of many cars, often reversing into tight spits with poor visibility.

I think if you can carry them and dont have to put them down then its probably equally as safe, but ime the forecourt staff prefer you to leave them in the car. I once took a 3y old out as he was whinging and they shoyted at me over the tannoy "no children on the forecourt!"

KarlKennedysBumCrack · 04/12/2017 07:31

My kids are 5, 2.5 and 9 months. There is no way I would be heave them all in and out of the car at the petrol station! I leave them in it while I pay, it's juch safer. They do usually set the alarm off though Shock

jellycat1 · 04/12/2017 07:35

I have a 2 yr old and a 3 yr old and i would never leave them in the car and walk away from it more than a few feet. Just wouldn't. Not judging anyone who does - and I get all the points of view expressed on here. I just don't feel comfortable leaving them. So it's not just a MN thing.

Flomper · 04/12/2017 07:37

i have never seen anyone take babies and toddlers or xhildren out of a car to pay at the petrol station, in 20 years of driving. so its definitely not "the norm".

ooohbetty · 04/12/2017 07:46

Ilovepixie
I too work in a petrol station and have done for 8 years I have never seen anything like that happen yet or anything like that being a near miss. The most danger I have seen is when the toddlers are out of the car and on the forecourt, I have had to intervene on one occasion when a mum momentarily lost sight of child and the child picked up the petrol pump to have a go, the mum was mortified, I have also seen a child having a paddy on the forecourt, bolt from mum and nearly into the path of a car pulling away, so the danger can work both ways.

QueenAmongstMen · 04/12/2017 07:46

I once read an article about a woman who had parked up at a garage to quickly pop into the shop there and she left her young infant in the car. When she was in the car she collapsed (can't remember why), an ambulance was called and she was taken to hospital with nobody knowing there was a child alone in her car.

It only cane to light when the hospital staff contacted her family (number taken from her mobile phone) and then her husband arrived and asked where his child was and he'd been with his mother.

The garage was called and a member of staff went out to check on the infant and stood by the car until the father turned up.

It scares the life out of me to think that could potentially happen so no, I do not leave my children unattended in the car. No matter how small the chance is of something happening, it's potentially very risky to have children alone in a car that nobody knows are there.

Admittedly the risks aren't there are on a petrol forecourt as the car would need to be moved or the pumps closed off or something so somebody would see a child in the car but the concept still doesn't dit right with me.

However - each to their own. We all make our own risk assessments about plenty of things.

QueenAmongstMen · 04/12/2017 08:53

That's obviously meant to say she collapsed in the shop, not the car Smile

honeyravioli · 04/12/2017 09:39

I once read an article about a woman who had parked up at a garage to quickly pop into the shop there and she left her young infant in the car. When she was in the car she collapsed (can't remember why), an ambulance was called and she was taken to hospital with nobody knowing there was a child alone in her car

I don't believe a word of that. The first thing they would do would be to go out and check the car.
Urban myth.

Sayyouwill · 04/12/2017 09:42

@QueenAmongstMen was this article by any chance in 'Take a Break' magazine?

honeyravioli · 04/12/2017 09:42

I personally don't and don't buy the argument that it is safer to leave them in the car, think people use that as an excuse because it's quicker and more convenient to do so

It's not an excuse. It is easier and more convenient, but it is also safer to leave them in the car.

You can't actually believe that it would be safer for me to take 4 children out of the car, juggling the baby, the toddler and the 2 others, and drag them across a forecourt full of moving cars than it would for them to sit immobilised in car seats?
If you do, you're wrong, and you are very bad at risk assessment.

People do things because it feels safer. But often it is not. You need to actually think about it.

LittleLionMansMummy · 04/12/2017 09:46

I agree with honey that sounds far fetched. Nobody from the petrol station noticed the car parked up for way too long?

Anyway op, sorry but I think your dh is right and you're being a bit ridiculous. Your child is more likely to come to harm on the way to the petrol station than for the couple of minutes you're inside and the car is stationery and in full view. Life and parenthood is all about making appropriate risk assessments and acting accordingly.

Sweetpotatoaddict · 04/12/2017 10:02

There are so many scenarios where something unexpected could happen and your child could come to harm. The story about the car on the forecourt, the same risk could be levelled at looking after a child on your own at home. Parenting is all about acceptable risk, different risks are acceptable to different people.

prettybird · 04/12/2017 10:21

A woman collapsing in the shop while her child was in the car and taken to the hospital leaving the child abandoned

Look at it another way if it ever happened : isn't it as well the mother was in the shop and not driving the car when she collapsed Shock The child could have been killed. Or if she had collapsed while taking the child across the forecourt in front of another car Shock .... or collapsed, let go of the child who then ran out into the street into traffic. Shock

On the balance of probable outcomes from the different scenarios, I'd say the child was safest having been left in the car!

StarUtopia · 04/12/2017 12:34

Pay at the pump. Problem solved.

No way am I getting my 3 yr old and 4 yr old out at the petrol station. Leave them where I can see them and whip in.

Enwi · 04/12/2017 12:34

I had 12 month old twins with me this morning and a 2 and a half year old. Was I supposed to carry both car seats into the petrol station with a 2 year old? That is far more dangerous than leaving them in the car, in my line of sight. A car could hit my car at any time whether I’m in it or not. Likewise something could happen to me at any time. If anything, someone is more likely to notice my children in the car alone than they would if I was at home and anything happened to me.

liminality · 04/12/2017 12:37

In Australia it is frowned upon (and possibly illegal?) Because it gets so hot that a dog or a child can literally roast in the 5 minutes it takes to pay fuel inside. Anyone seeing a child or a pet in an unattended car would be absolutely within rights to smash a window - in summer the inside of a car can climb to well over 50 degrees celsius in a few minutes. That's why it's a thing here.

BananaThePoet · 04/12/2017 12:39

I agree prettybird.
There is no way of eliminating all risk to children apart from not having children in the first place - even pregnancy and childbirth is a risk. In fact leaving a child in a car while paying for petrol is probably loads less risky than giving birth in the first place or even feeding a child or leaving it to sleep in its own room.
I wouldn't leave a child in a car in a petrol station as an every day thing but once in a while when there is not an alternative is likely to cause no negative result and even less likely to cause a severe negative result.

Trinity66 · 04/12/2017 12:43

If I was just running in to pay, yeah I would leave a baby in the car

BoredOnMatLeave · 04/12/2017 12:45

Depends on the petrol station here, I try to do pay at pump.

Small garage if I can park right next to the window and watch her the whole time I leave her, this is the one I use 90% of the time.

Had to fill up the other day on the motorway and it was a big station, loads of commuters and builders buying lunches and coffee's so the queue was a few mins, so took her in.

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