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AIBU?

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Original poster

Leaving toddler in car

371 replies

rabbitsdontlayeggs · 03/12/2017 10:38

Please settle this disagreement for me and my DH!

Leaving toddler (20 months) in the car while you go and pay for petrol. Would you do it? I would not (unless I was using pay at the pump, then I wouldn't get her out as I'd be stood right next to the car) but DH says he would and has. I'm horrified that he's left her and have said I really don't want him to do that again, he thinks I am ridiculous and 'it's only for two minutes'.

Who is UR?

OP posts:
Jojopugh · 04/12/2017 18:12

I would never get my daughters out now at 7 & 3 or when they were babies to pay at petrol station. It's far to dangerous. At everywhere, fumes etc. You can still see you car from the window most likely. Lock the door and give little one a toy and I'm sure all will be okay when you get back. My husband wanted to take them out when they were younger and I insisted on absolutely not. 😃

ticketytock1 · 04/12/2017 18:23

I do it all the time. On the odd occasion where I've brought them in the staff are like 'oh yeah I forgot you had kids! '

Rachie1973 · 04/12/2017 18:58

I've been leaving mine in the car for 25 years in the hope someone will pinch them.

No luck yet!

MrsSteveMcDonald · 04/12/2017 20:24

If the person in front of me faffed around taking children out to pay then I'd be really pissed off at the selfish cunt holding me up for absolutely no sensible reason. Even more unacceptable than those that get back in the car after paying and just sit there faffing rather than driving off so that the next person can start filling up. I have never seen anyone take children out of the car at a petrol station, it's nuts

littlepoppett · 04/12/2017 20:29

I have done it. But I usually fill my car up when DD is at nursery or when DP is in the car. Planning is a good idea.

splendide · 04/12/2017 20:45

Someone taking their children in to pay for petrol are not being selfish cunts!

I take my 3 year old in because he would cry the whole time if I didn’t. It adds about 30 seconds to the whole experience.

onemachine · 04/12/2017 21:24

If I was waiting in a que to get fuel while someone who had already filled up started faffing about getting toddlers and babies in and out of the car in order to walk across the forecourt and pay, only to totter back with toddler and baby in tow, then faff about some more strapping them in I would probably be thinking “hurry up for fucks sake”

onemachine · 04/12/2017 21:25

Couldn’t agree more mrsmcdonald, selfish cunts the lot of them

bluebellsparklypants · 04/12/2017 21:26

I leave my 24 month old with the radio on, I do try to be as quick as I can, you can generally see the car all the time while paying. It seems to be a faff to get them out for 2 minutes while go in and pay

letitsnowsnowsnow · 04/12/2017 21:33

This is a thing? It would honestly never have occurred to me to take my children out of the car to pay at the petrol station/get money from the cash machine/ pop into the post office/dump stuff in the charity shop. And we leave them sleeping in the car on our drive all the time. I’m fully expecting a MN roasting for this admission, but I don’t care. Some of you lot just over think everything.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 04/12/2017 22:32

Most petrol stations in Australia, that I've seen anyway, have big covers over the petrol pumps, so you wouldn't be getting direct sun on the car to raise the temps inside that fast. However, if it was a really hot day, I'd leave the windows open - but still leave them in it. IF there was a massive queue in the shop, then I might take them with me - but usually it's no more than 2 mins in and out.

Orangesandlemons1 · 04/12/2017 23:00

It’s definitely more than 30 seconds unclipping a three year old from a car seat. Making them walk beside you or have them slow you down by carrying them. Then getting them back to and into car. Definitely more than 30 seconds. Holding the queues up and potentially dangerous.
Where as if there is nothing in the car the could choke on and they are occupied with a book/age appropriate toy, they can self entertain for a couple of minutes. Well my ds can age 2.

HamSandWitches · 04/12/2017 23:16

Mine are big and I didn't drive when they were little but imo it would be safer to leave them strapped in the locked car than getting both of them out and across the forocourt then back and strapped in, would take 10 mins to do a 2 min nip in and pay

Mc180768 · 04/12/2017 23:28

Always left them in the car while paying at the kiosk.

wikedminx · 04/12/2017 23:41

my 3 are now 23,21 and 18. I never got them out of the car when getting fuel.
And in fact for many years left them in the car outside the CoOp where we lived with the windows open.. (just a tiny bit as was off west coast of scotland, so you didnt leave it open to much!!)
If they woke up, someone would give me a shout and say - minxy - A, B or C is awake, do you want me to bring them in for you?

magratvonlipwig · 05/12/2017 13:37

Absolutely I would.
And have.
You dont want to carry a child over a cold wet forecourt where theres cars manoevering.
And there's no additiinal danger while youre in the kiosk where you can see them than when youre busy concentrating on the fuel

berliozwooler · 05/12/2017 13:38

I did it all the time if DDs were asleep or happy to be left. To me there was a far greater risk of them getting run over by a car as we crossed the busy forecourt than anything else happening.

Tokillamockingalan · 05/12/2017 17:39

Literally don’t know anyone that DOESN’T do this. It’s far safer for your child to be safely strapped into a locked vehicle that you can keep in sight than wrestling a toddler across a forecourt where people are paying f-all attention as they drive in and out of the pump spaces. It’s one of those Mum taboos though that many won’t admit until they’re on baby no. 2 and then everyone is all ‘of course I bloody do.’

Fif · 05/12/2017 17:40

A family friend left their toddler in a car and quickly nipped into the newsagent. When they returned, the car was on fire. Their toddler survived but with life changing burns. This is why I’ve never left my children unattended in a car. It only takes a few minutes extra to take them with me. The inconvenience is worth the piece of mind.

Battybutty · 05/12/2017 17:51

I have done this many times...BUT there is a thing whereby if something happens inside the shop, or on the forecourt (let’s say an armed robber, or fire on the forecourt) then they can potentially put the shop into “lockdown”. Now I’m not saying this is a common occurrence by any means but the sheer terror of being locked inside the shop, while child/ren is/are locked in the car is enough to have stopped me doing it any more. This might even be an urban legend, but once someone had pointed it out to me, it threw a new light onto the debate....

Twinmummymoffat · 05/12/2017 17:55

I leave them in car if they are with me, no way am I going to get my 2 out then back in again being a twin mum is hard enough! I'm need 2 mins maximum to myself Wink

Someonessnackbitch · 05/12/2017 18:03

I wouldn’t, just feels wrong

RideOn · 05/12/2017 18:06

I'm with your DH. I think it is safer but at the same time if you want to bring a toddler across the forecourt that is also reasonable.

MissMooMoo · 05/12/2017 18:09

This thread is currently being discussed on "The Social" which is like Canada's version of Loose Woman.
My DS is only 6 months and I do not leave him. Probably would not ever.
I could see my DH being like yours though

Leontine · 05/12/2017 18:09

Honestly, it's only on Mumsnet that I've ever heard of this!

As I was growing up no one ever took me in to pay - not even my friends' parents.

In fact I don't recall ever seeing anyone doing this either? Maybe it has something to do with the area I live in, if it were a city perhaps things would be different, but here everyone just seems to leave their kids in the car.

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