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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Leaving toddler in car

371 replies

rabbitsdontlayeggs · 03/12/2017 10:38

Please settle this disagreement for me and my DH!

Leaving toddler (20 months) in the car while you go and pay for petrol. Would you do it? I would not (unless I was using pay at the pump, then I wouldn't get her out as I'd be stood right next to the car) but DH says he would and has. I'm horrified that he's left her and have said I really don't want him to do that again, he thinks I am ridiculous and 'it's only for two minutes'.

Who is UR?

OP posts:
laurieleigh · 05/12/2017 18:11

Even if (God forbid) someone drives into the car at least they're strapped into their car seats which are obviously designed to protect them in such incidences. Walking/dragging/carrying 3 kids across a forecourt is inherently more dangerous - the notion would never even enter my mind.

marymoosmum · 05/12/2017 18:11

I have left my daughter in the car while I pop in to pay. It's not like I am doing a full shop, I open a window slightly and lock the car. It is much safer than taking her in.

ToffeeUp · 05/12/2017 18:14

I don't think I have ever seen anybody taking their child out of the car to pay for fuel and I have never done it myself. Far too much hassle and not very safe imo.

AL75 · 05/12/2017 18:15

The answer is no way! Anything is possible these days. How do you know a thief won't suddenly steal your car with your child in it or something else? I wouldn't risk it.

Orangebird69 · 05/12/2017 18:19

AL75, because a) I lock/immobilise my car b) hotwiring a car in broad daylight under cctv takes some balls and c) I've no doubt after 5 mins of dealing with my toddler, they'd bring the child and car straight back.

celebrityskin · 05/12/2017 18:21

....Really??!! OMG! Can not believe how completely over the top protective people are 🙈 am definitely in the safer in the car camp. Small kids being dragged to and fro across forecourts seems ridiculous and far more risky in my humble opinion! To those in the take them camp: would you wake up your kid to do this if they were asleep?!!

manicmij · 05/12/2017 18:33

UABU Every situation in life carries a risk. Leaving your child in car is no more dangerous than putting them to bed e.g. can be sick and choke on vomit. Wonder how many children have been kidnapped, killed/injured by car being crashed into at a garage forecourt. Personally never heard of it.

Bobbi73 · 05/12/2017 18:53

I've always left mine in the car while I popped into a garage to pay. Far riskier IMO to get them out and walk across the forecourt. Also, it'd be a massive faff. I think worrying about a car hitting your car or someone stealing it is over thinking it a bit.

SaturnBelt · 05/12/2017 19:13

I was reduced to tears by an off duty policeman who berated me for leaving my son in the car when he was a toddler while I went off to pay for petrol. He stood next to the car til I returned. He said he wouldn’t leave his Alsatian in the car alone in “this day in age”. I was made to feel so bad, I drove all the way home sobbing into the rear view child mirror apologising profusely to my bemused baby (which in hindsight was far more dangerous) Grin

NotForSale · 05/12/2017 19:19

Yeh I take all 4 of my kids out of the car to cross them accross a stream of cars to then negotiate getting them past the sweet counter to pay.
Er.. no.

purplebunny2012 · 05/12/2017 19:21

I have always left my DS in the car whilst I pay at Sainsbury's (the only garage near that doesn't have pay at pump), I think it's far more dangerous lugging him across the forecourt. He's 5 now

ToftyAC · 05/12/2017 19:29

If I can’t use a pay at pump then I lock my 3 year old in the car, strapped into his seat. It’s far more dangerous for little ones to be out on the forecourt especially if the little darling slips your hand. Plus I can see the car from the pay station window.

Lovingit81 · 05/12/2017 19:31

I don't leave mine! Can't believe how many mums do! I'm shocked!

MannersMaketh · 05/12/2017 19:41

I don't leave mine! Can't believe how many mums do! I'm shocked!

Out of curiosity did your parents ever take you into the petrol station?

I don't remember actually entering the shop of a petrol station until I started driving.

I always leave my kids in the car when I go and pay, even been known to leave my husband. It's frankly less hassle and the safest option.

I'll let you know if my kids ever get kidnapped though.

TenForward82 · 05/12/2017 19:43

On the rare occasion there's no Pay at Pump, I take her in - not because I worry about her safety, but because I worry about some Nosy Nellie trying to shame me. It's not worth the impotent anger I'd feel despite giving the person a piece of my mind.

LookingForwardToChristmas · 05/12/2017 19:52

Out of curiosity did your parents ever take you into the petrol station?

I’m one who leaves my children in the car but in my childhood, pumps weren’t self service so it didn’t really come up!

Passenger42 · 05/12/2017 19:57

My son was normally asleep when in my car and I never took him out of the car seat to pay for petrol. I think YABU and over protective. The baby is safer in the car.

Orangebird69 · 05/12/2017 20:01

My parents used to leave me in the car. I was quite happy there, window open, sniffing the petrol fumes.

Blu99 · 05/12/2017 20:05

Hmm I sit on the fence. I take my 20 month old in with me unless she’s asleep.

I had my 2 nieces 10 & 5 as well as my little girl and I left them all in the car the other day. I can barely get around a shopping aisle never mind a forecourt with them all.

Each to their own really.

Nelly1727 · 05/12/2017 20:05

I would in a petrol forecourt as you can see them all the time. If I was popping into a shop where I couldn’t see the car then I wouldn’t.

seasidelife · 05/12/2017 20:10

I don't have the choice, I've got screamers Hmm mine cry when I get out to fill up and god forbid step too far away from the car, they scream like they're being murdered!! I fill up at the weekend when dh is with us

niklew · 05/12/2017 20:22

I would NEVER leave my children in the car, anything could happen. For the sake of a few seconds to take my child out and carry them
Into the station to pay is worth it. I have a 6,4 and 2 year old and have never once left them in the car. If they are with me I can try and
Protect them- can’t if they are left alone! I would be livid if my do dis this ( he knows that too and therefore would never do it)

rowtheboats · 05/12/2017 20:23

I suffer from quite a high level of anxiety for my two, however I still leave them in the car when paying for petrol. I lock the door and look back at the car, and it’s only for two minutes!

Choking??? Why?
Getting out of the straps- so?
Kidnapping- very unlikely given on cctv and in such a busy place!

I’d be very interested to know if you’d still lift them out of the car once you have 2+ children! Then it really would be a faff (and far more dangerous) to drag them across the forecourt

Nomoresugar · 05/12/2017 20:26

I've thought about doing it, especially when DD (2) is sleeping. But I'm always worried someone will call the police, so I take her in.

Gillian1980 · 05/12/2017 20:33

I don’t think either of you are being unreasonable, you just do different things.

I was always taken into the garage as a kid so I always considered that the norm. Therefore I take dd in with me, if I’m not using pay at pump. That’s what I feel comfortable with.

But if others want to leave them in the car I just consider that their decision.

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