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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my weight is no ones buisness but my own

261 replies

portolodn · 03/12/2017 10:25

I'm obese and happy with it but other people seem to have an issue with it. I've, stupidly, confided in a few people that I've been warned that I have a high blood sugar level and my doctor has said I'm classified as having prediabetes. But I'm very happy with my life and my body. Other people are now dropping huge suggestions on things I should change and stop doing. Surely it's my choice what I do with my life and people should just worry about themselves?

OP posts:
runwalkrun · 03/12/2017 20:10

How can anyone be happy being obese? Do you not feel uncomfortable? Would you not be happier being lighter and healthier? More comfortable?

It must be hard work lugging a lot of weight around. Especially on your joints, not to mention it slowing you down.
I don't see how people who are seriously overweight can be 'happy with it'.
I think it's a fallacy.

t1mum3 · 03/12/2017 20:26

When I was very skinny I found it uncomfortable to sit on benches as I didn't have enough padding. It's swings and roundabouts I guess.

Cagliostro · 03/12/2017 20:31

Like a PP I had gestational diabetes and that was shit enough. Scared the crap out of me TBH. I had found out I probably had it - undiagnosed and uncontrolled - with my 8yo as he was unexpectedly huge and poorly at birth. Still wasn't enough for me to tackle my weight after. But this time a diagnosis and several weeks of constant blood sugar tests and paranoia about what was safe to eat that wouldn't hurt my baby, that was enough. I only had to do that for a couple of months, and the whole time I was thinking thank goodness this will go away after. I can't imagine going through it permanently. So I am working to prevent it now. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

Regardless of being body positive and everything there is no denying that being 4st lighter (since new year, pregnant for most of it) has made an unbelievable difference to my health (not to mention my ability to recover from the birth). I just need to cling on to the fear of going back to being diabetic because honestly it is terrifying. I have a long way to go but I need to do it for my DCs.

My baby is about 9lb now and she feels SO heavy to me already. How many extra of her was I carrying before and how much was that affecting me? How many extra of her am I still carrying now? It's really brought it home to me.

t1mum3 · 03/12/2017 20:34

@raisedbyguineapigs around 2.5% of normal or underweight people have type two diabetes compared to around 8% of overweight or obese people.

MaisyPops · 03/12/2017 20:35

When I was very skinny I found it uncomfortable to sit on benches as I didn't have enough padding. It's swings and roundabouts I guess
I'm naturally slim and used to be very skinny.
It's not swings and roundabouts.

Even at my skinniest I was healthy, ate a healthy diet and wasn't ruining my health by putting my body at risk of more health conditions.

Softkitty2 · 03/12/2017 20:43

You shouldn't have confided in other people in the first place.

Raisedbyguineapigs · 03/12/2017 21:03

t1 but 80% of people with diagnosed diabetes are overweight or obese. Many people are undiagnosed or suffering from pre diabetes. So if someone has diabetes, they are far more likely to have it because they are overweight. I suspect the people who are of normal weight who have it have strong genetic predisposition. My DM is 'normal' weight and diabetic, but her mother and brother died from complications of the illness. They all eat terribly and have sugar addiction though. My entire maternal family has it. There is a very strong genetic predisposition, and some people don't have to be massively overweight to get it.

Ta1kinPeace · 03/12/2017 21:06

t1mum
around 2.5% of normal or underweight people have type two diabetes compared to around 8% of overweight or obese people.
Do you have a link for that ?

Mulch · 03/12/2017 21:17

People telling me what to do is never motivating. If anything I go the opposite way to cement my autonomy. However them being massive nags comes from a good place. They care more about you then you seem to care for yourself. You should want better than a life with diabetes that can be avoided

Itsgonnabeacoldone · 03/12/2017 21:20

You can easily be normal weight or underweight and have a horrendous diet and lifestyle. I know someone that has a fag and coffee for breakfast, skips lunch often and has junk for dinner. She may be slim, but her skin, hair and nails give away she's not healthy.

goose1964 · 03/12/2017 21:23

I wish I had listened to people about my weight before I got diabetes. I now take tablets for high blood pressure , although I wasn't really fat when I was diagnosed, that's three of the buggers, Metformin for my diabetes, a statin for high cholesterol . I also take painkillers for joint pain and an antidepressant for the same. Please listen to these people and halt the damage before it goes too far.Just imagine e a Christmas with no chocolate, no Bailey's no mince pies etc that's your future if you don't do something now

Ta1kinPeace · 03/12/2017 21:38

goose
if you are type 2, you know that you have a more than evens chance of reversing it and coming off all medication
its tough but worth it

kentparent · 03/12/2017 21:44

JonSnow

Services have been cut because people live longer but are not necessarily healthier. Money has to go further. Obesity is costly. People need to take responsibility for their own health and the OP is making an informed choice which affects us all.

JonSnowsWife · 03/12/2017 21:47

Services have been cut because people live longer but are not necessarily healthier.

No. Services have been cut because they're isn't enough money to go around. That's why the NHS have been begging for funding for years. Since this government decided it would be okay if their budget was cut and resulted in things like A&Es closing and they're not being enough beds/money/basically everything to perform.at their optimum like they should.

JonSnowsWife · 03/12/2017 21:48

*there isn't not they're. Bloody phone.

gingergenius · 03/12/2017 21:48

@Raisedbyguineapigs I'm with you. I also need to lose 2 stones and it's a lot harder now. Nothing to do with body image but everything to do with body health.

kentparent · 03/12/2017 22:37

JonSnow

The reason there's not enough money to go round is that there are more people living longer with health problems...obesity contributes to this. I don't think it's a conservative thing I don't think any government could keep up with the cost of care. People are getting deprived of IVF, some expensive medications that prolong life but don't cure cancer etc etc. It's not a bottomless pit of money whoever holds the purse strings.

Raisedbyguineapigs · 03/12/2017 23:38

ta1kin yes I know slimming world gets a bad rap on here but a woman in my group reversed her diabetes and was taken off medication. I was looking it up for my DB and you need to do it within a year of getting out to have the best chance apparently.

JonSnowsWife · 04/12/2017 06:15

The reason there's not enough money to go round is that there are more people living longer with health problems...obesity contributes to this.

The NHS crisis has nothing to do with obesity kentparent and everything to do with the Tories withdrawing vital funding, unless you're equally going to attribute blame to smokers and alcoholics who also contribute towards the cost of the NHS.

Repeating something when figures have already been posted on here to disprove what incorrect figures were quoted doesn't make repeating a statement true. They're all available in this thread.

It IS a fact that the Tories have been stripping the NHS of vital funds since 2010. That is what had caused the crisis in the NHS. Not fat people.

Even without obese people, smokers and alcoholics, the NHS would still be in trouble financially.

JonSnowsWife · 04/12/2017 06:22

Conservatives forced to admit nhs cuts. So I'd say it's definitely a conservative thing then.

www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/nhs-spending-has-been-cut-tories-forced-to-admit-8395976.html

letitsnowsnowsnow · 04/12/2017 06:47

jonsnow, what nonsense. Do you work in a hospital? If I went round my hospital and kicked out all the people under 80 who are patients with lifestyle choice related illnesses there would be a lot of empty beds. You can’t blame the torries because you chose to smoke and get lung cancer or eat yourself into an obese blob and suffer all the consequences. That has nothing to do with health cuts. The NHS is straining for lots of reasons and poor lifestyle choices is one of them.

stevie69 · 04/12/2017 06:49

I'm obese and happy with it but other people seem to have an issue with it. I've, stupidly, confided in a few people that I've been warned that I have a high blood sugar level and my doctor has said I'm classified as having prediabetes. But I'm very happy with my life and my body. Other people are now dropping huge suggestions on things I should change and stop doing. Surely it's my choice what I do with my life and people should just worry about themselves?

Absolutely it's your choice. Can you be more specific about who these 'other people' are? Would I be right in assuming family? In truth, I'm sure that they only have your best interests at heart. However, it IS annoying when everyone and the milkman feel they must chip in Hmm

Stick to your guns and enjoy your life Smile

Itsgonnabeacoldone · 04/12/2017 07:36

What a load of crap snow. A huge percentage of NHS is taken up by people eating crap and no exercise, it causes so many health issues. I've seen some shocking denials on mn, but that takes the Biscuit

TheFirstMrsDV · 04/12/2017 07:45

Raised I really dislike SM/WW etc and have been pretty clear about that on several threads.
BUT I do recognise that lots of people need something organised and structured like SM to kick off a change in their lives.
For someone who is obese I can see how the diet industry can be helpful short term.

Rebeccaslicker · 04/12/2017 07:52

I'm not sure I like the idea of tiptoeing around mentioning smokers and alcoholics and the obese as being part of the NHS problem either. See also the amount that pissed idiots cost, crashing into a&e every weekend. I had to take DD to a&e at 3am the other week (turned out to be croup) and there were 3 pissed lads with various cuts and a toe sticking out at an odd angle, all roaring with laughter at how each of them had ended up there Hmm

At the end of the day, if there's one thing you should take personal responsibility for, it's your own body - nobody else can do it for you!