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AIBU?

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Original poster

DP and exes at wedding

175 replies

WeddingArsehole · 02/12/2017 08:47

I have been invited to the wedding of one of my partner's friends.

The wedding is in two weeks time and my partner has just turned round to me and said that a number of his exes will be there and that he doesn't want me giving him grief afterwards so I should 'prepare myself' for him talking to them if that is a problem.

His justification for saying this to me is because I challenged him about his inappropriate behaviour with a work colleague a number of years ago (I don't think anything happened but it wasn't for the lack of effort on his part). I obviously wasn't happy about this and expressed my concerns to him. This is the one time that I have challenged his behaviour. He has plenty of other female friends and I don't have a problem with them.

The groom's sister is one of his exes so I assumed she was going to be in attendance but I really was not bothered.

The situation with the colleague was years ago and he keeps bringing it up as evidence that I'm jealous.

I am really bemused by his behaviour and other than telling him that his exes being in attendance isn't an issue I don't really know what he is trying to achieve.

It sounds to me like he would like me to be jealous and I'm a bit peed off about the whole situation. He was really patronising to me - etching a J onto my forehead and saying 'jealous' over and over again.

This isn't normal behaviour is it?

OP posts:
MrSnrubYesThatsIt · 02/12/2017 10:28

Please ditch this wanker. Have some pride in yourself.

user1497997754 · 02/12/2017 10:29

I would def get rid of him and carve out PO on his forehead....Piss Off

MsJolly · 02/12/2017 10:31

I suspect if you do go to the wedding he will flirt like crazy with his numerous exs and will be expecting you to either suck it up or react badly/either way he wins. Twat.
I would go to the wedding, simply to piss him off by chatting nicely to his exs and giving no reaction to his behaviour at all-whilst quietly getting my ducks in a row to LTB as and when I was ready.

carefreeeee · 02/12/2017 10:39

Weird. So he doesn't accept the previous behaviour was wrong at all?

I'd be inclined to go to the wedding and make friends with the exes. You might learn something interesting about why they split up.

Arealhumanbeing · 02/12/2017 10:48

etching a J onto my forehead and saying 'jealous' over and over again.

Leave him. Definitely leave him.

AnnaleeP · 02/12/2017 11:24

I'd be inclined to go to the wedding and make friends with the exes. You might learn something interesting about why they split up.

Yes. At the very least he'll be miffed about you talking to them. He sounds like a right catch.

Nyx1 · 02/12/2017 12:57

Ketley, I didn't think he used a pen, I'm sure no one thought that!!

but it's hideous enough as it is. Hopefully OP is giving him his marching orders right now....!

Original poster
WeddingArsehole · 02/12/2017 18:47

I'm not sure if I will go to the wedding. I am going to take a couple of days to think.

He is out on the stag party tonight. He does seem to enjoy the idea of me being jealous.

He was also trying to wind me up last night by saying that he might get a lap dance. He knows I don't agree with paying for access to women's bodies but time and time again he pretends he doesn't know what my views are. I just told him last night that I wasn't going to stop him doing anything he wanted to do but he needed to know that this would be a deal breaker for me.

He seemed really put out that I stayed calm and got quite heated to the point where I had to ask him what he was so upset about.

I do feel a bit bad because his father has been diagnosed with cancer recently.

OP posts:
AlternativeTentacle · 02/12/2017 18:49

He was also trying to wind me up last night by saying that he might get a lap dance.

He sounds more and more yummy. No wonder you are so jealous.

GabriellaMontez · 02/12/2017 18:53

Go to the wedding. Have a look for any talent. It may soon be time to move on.

Amatree · 02/12/2017 18:57

Uhhh why are you still with this absolute tosser? You know he's a cock, why are you wasting even another day being in a relationship with him? End it!!

Nyx1 · 02/12/2017 19:01

"He seemed really put out that I stayed calm and got quite heated to the point where I had to ask him what he was so upset about".

RUN FOR THE HILLS!

What are you waiting for?

JaniceBattersby · 02/12/2017 19:04

If you love someone, you want to make them feel happy, confident and secure.

If you don’t love someone, you want to do the opposite.

He’s an total fucking bellend, OP. Find someone who builds you up, not knocks you down.

MyBrilliantDisguise · 02/12/2017 19:04

This man is a complete tosser, OP. You need to dump him. (Think of him dumping you - how frustrating would that be?)

SwimmingInLemonade · 02/12/2017 19:10

I bet he's told you that all his exes are stunning too... and all the women he works with no doubt Grin

It sounds like you're well on the way to leaving him, if you can mentally check out of the relationship but still go to the wedding you can have a lovely time flirting with eligible men while he's busy chasing his exes... win win!

SwimmingInLemonade · 02/12/2017 19:10

And then leave him, obvs.

thegirlupnorth · 02/12/2017 19:24

Go to the wedding, look stunning, engage with his exes and tell them all you're about to become one of them, then feck him off and get someone who isn't such a Richard cranium!

PoppyFleur · 02/12/2017 19:39

I really struggle to understand the appeal of being in a relationship with a man like this. What does he bring to your life?

He etched J across your forehead and then continued to chant jealous, delightful behaviour.

If you enjoy drama, OP remain in this relationship. If you don't please ask yourself why you are putting up with this.

lurkingnotlurking · 02/12/2017 19:42

My very first ltb. He traced a J on your forehead? He tried to humiliate you - this is not something that you should experience in a good relationship.

CynicalOleMe · 02/12/2017 19:43

He's setting you up. So if you get pissed off, he gets to be 'right' about you, and if you don't he gets to cross the line into inappropriate behaviour.

No worthy relationship is worth this head-melt. You should join the ranks of those sensible ex's who also got wise to his shitty behaviour.

MissCommunication · 02/12/2017 19:53

I just have a massive problem with the etching on forehead thing. That's before I get to thinking about the jealousy set-up. I would HATE someone doing that to me. Horrid.

messofajess · 02/12/2017 20:23

Op I don't think I would go to this wedding. The thought of all the petty revenge is fun to talk and joke about but at the end of the day you're not really going to have a good time. Do you live with him?

A more realistic win for you would be to have all your stuff out of his house by the time he got back (if you don't) and if you do live together is there a spare room you can move into while he's at the wedding? Or even better just leave?

messofajess · 02/12/2017 20:23

Also yes the j thing is so alarming.

LynetteScavo · 02/12/2017 20:27

When he gets home and falls asleep get a permanent marker and etch DH on his head. Explain to him in the morning it's stands for Dick Head.

Justmuddlingalong · 02/12/2017 20:29

Why would you be jealous of him talking to exes. Dump him and save yourself from the pitying glances from the said exes. Onwards and upwards OP. Wine

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