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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

How to respond to arsey message?

170 replies

Seesawsick · 01/12/2017 02:57

Live in a flat share, one of my housemates is against putting the heating up and I never touch it normally (it’s on a timer).

I turned it to “on” for once (yes it’s the middle of the night but I’m in my room working and was frozen) and just got an arsey message saying “someone has messed with the heating, it’s 3am - this isn’t on. My room is really warm”.

What to say? Aibu? I appreciate where they are coming from but equally it’s my house too and it was a one-off! And I object to being told “it’s not on” 🙄

OP posts:

Kentnurse2015 · 01/12/2017 07:41

The text wasn't great but neither was turning on the heating overnight so you are both BU and you need to discuss it properly

palmfronds · 01/12/2017 07:41

It doesn't matter whether you're a hot person or a cold person - 3am is not a normal time to have the heating on and it's wasteful to heat the whole flat because you've decided to stay up all night and study. Just use a hot water bottle or some extra blankets!

Fwiw I like to be warm in bed but I'd be really pissed off being woken on a work night at 3am whatever the reason. And like many pp have said, heating on at night makes a lot of people feel ill.

overnightangel · 01/12/2017 07:44

How many livenin the flat?
I assume there are others too, in which case she’s a selfish twat for texting all inhabitants at 3am basically saying “it’s 3am and I’m awake so I’m going to wake everyone else up too”
If she wasn’t an immature cock she’d get up adjust the heating back to normal and sort it out in the morning

strugglingtodomybest · 01/12/2017 07:44

I would be annoyed top if I were woken up at 3am because someone had turned the heating on. I'm sorry, but you have been selfish in this instance.

deepestdarkestperu · 01/12/2017 07:47

Her message is arsey, but I'd be pissed off if someone put the heating on at 3am and woke me up. Like others, I get a headache and sore throat it the heating is in overnight.

If you're going to be up at 3am, you need to be able to heat your room and not the whole house. Can you not use a hot water bottle or buy an electric blanket?

Quartz2208 · 01/12/2017 07:50

I think the timing is crucial in that 3am is a harsh time to put the heating on. And she woke up feeling rubbish and sent the message

RebeccatheOld · 01/12/2017 07:51

You need to apologise she was uncomfortable but also call her out on her attitude.

Something like 'I had to work and it was very cold. I don't appreciate being spoken to like that. It is a shared house and sometimes we all have to make compromises'

Appuskidu · 01/12/2017 07:52

Do you normally get on ok?

If I knew it was going to cause such a problem, I would get an electric blanket for the 3am working sessions. If you’re in bed anyway, it’s probably the easiest way to heat you up!

labazs · 01/12/2017 07:55

its awkward as it affects the others can you possibly buy a small portable electric heater to use when you are up working late? or a thick fleecey blanket etc

UrsulaPandress · 01/12/2017 07:56

It would give me the rage. Our heating is noisy and I hate a hot bedroom.

Get a hot water bottle.

Cheerybigbottom · 01/12/2017 07:58

Get an electric blanket, and a housemate who isn't a fucking arse hole

Flyinggeese · 01/12/2017 08:02

Why wouldn't the flat mate just turn the radiator off in her room?

Two people texting within the same house is bonkers.

ButchyRestingFace · 01/12/2017 08:02

You are both BU.

I would not be a happy camper at being woken at 3am because someone had decided to turn the heating on throughout the property.

Why should everyone else in the flat pay for you to be warm at 3am, especially when you’ve woken them up? You’re heating their rooms, which they don’t want or need heated and have disturbed at least one person.

I’d get an electric blanket if you don’t have one already.

Do you have other flatmates? If they managed to sleep through the heat but were woken by her/his text, I imagine they may be pissed at her/him!

Why couldn’t she/he just have turned her radiator off and kept the “request” for the morning?

Nancy91 · 01/12/2017 08:02

Wait for her to speak to you face to face so you can tell her not to speak to you like a child.

If you get a portable heater she will only cry about the electricity bill.

If you have to respond via text "Ok mum" would suffice.

10kToBe · 01/12/2017 08:04

Does she go into your room? Buy an oil filled radiator and hide it from her!

BuggerLumpsAnnoyed · 01/12/2017 08:06

I would ask her why she thinks her being at a comfortable temp is more important than you

extinctspecies · 01/12/2017 08:07

If you are going to be up a lot in the night working when others are sleeping, can you get a plug in heater for your room?

I do think it's not good to heat a whole flat in the middle of the night when everyone else is sleeping.

LunasSpectreSpecs · 01/12/2017 08:07

YABU for having such poor time manangement skills that you're up at 3am working.

IveGotBillsTheyreMultiplying · 01/12/2017 08:08

Sleep is very important to health and a cool bedroom has been shown to promote good sleep.

Are you on shift work? If you are up at 3 working regularly you need to find a compromise so that you don’t disturb your flat mates.

ButchyRestingFace · 01/12/2017 08:10

I would ask her why she thinks her being at a comfortable temp is more important than you

I imagine she’ll argue that her being at a comfortable temperature doesn’t cost the OP anything.

OP being at a comfortable temperature not only involves OP flooding the entire property with heat and making her flatmate uncomfortable, but flatmate is also expected to pay a share of the increased heating bill for the “privilege” of being too hot.

LizzieSiddal · 01/12/2017 08:10

I'd be pissed off if someone do that to me too. Maybe you should get yourself more organised and work during the day when the heating is on?

LizzieSiddal · 01/12/2017 08:10

I'd be pissed off if someone do that to me too. Maybe you should get yourself more organised and work during the day when the heating is on?

LizzieSiddal · 01/12/2017 08:11

Sorry for double post.

FindoGask · 01/12/2017 08:12

You should probably have a proper conversation about it, like grown-ups do, and work out a mutually agreeable solution rather than leaving pissy notes to each other.

Jojopugh · 01/12/2017 08:16

Tell them to go bore some one else with there arsey notes. If they want to have a conversation about the house changing them to call a meeting😂

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