Having my vagina touched in security, aibu to feel pissed?

[sadiesnakes]

Just back from a short break to New York. I brought my 7 mth old dd, who is being fed aptimil formula, so purchased the individual 7oz bottles to cut out having no proper sterilized water facility’s in the hotel we stayed in. On the out going flight I packed 6 bottles and 4 baby food pouches which were put through a scanning machine thingie in security to detect whatever bad things it is they are looking for, reassured it was perfectly safe for the baby food, no problems. On the way back we had a short stopover, flying from LaGuardia to Dulles to Dublin (home). I had 6 milks in carryon and went through security, which is understandably very tight, no complaints there. All bags were scanned and again baby food was flagged. It was explained to me, since the bottles of formula were 7oz and not smaller I had a choice to either have them confiscated or accept an invasive 4 minute pat down. Since the trip was expected to be at least 12 hours I had no choice but to accept the pat down as my baby would obviously be starving and needed to be fed without question. It was thoroughly explained to me exactly how long it would take and what would happen, my sensitive areas would be gone over with the backs of the female security officers hand, I accepted and the pat down began, I was totally fine with everything, slightly embarrassed as it was done in front of a lot of other travelers but wanted to get it over with as pushed for time. She checked hair , neck, arms, chest, back, breasts, stomach, backside, up and down the insides of my legs, both front and back, so four times, but each time touched my vagina. Now im not prudish etc and understand they need to be very comprehensive in their searches, but this made me so uncomfortable I felt like bursting out crying. My Dh was holding the baby and all our luggage and was looking at me concerned and I felt so embarrassed. Basically I am saying aibu in being angry and humiliated that in order to have formula food for a 7 mth old baby for a 12 hour travelling period I have to have my vagina searched 4 times and does this actually make any sense, security wise? Sorry this is actually quite long😳.

mishfish Oh calm down with your outrage. Nothing to do with gender, the milk was in her hand luggage!

I have a replaced joint and so I have to go through those searches every time I fly. I live in the US and so leaving London I get searched and when I land in the US I have to be thoroughly gone over again before they allow me to catch my next flight within the US, even though I have NOT been allowed to leave secure area.

If there are no females available I am forced to stand in a clear plastic box, with little breathing holes cut in it, until there is a female available to grope me. There is no seat in the box and I am disabled. It is very difficult for me to stand.

Next time give the milk to your husband to carry.

Urgh, I'd hate that. Was there any option of having it done in private?

Unpleasant and embarrassing maybe, but it is what it is and most people by now know what security at airports involve, and the reasons why.

I was "subjected" to a similar search seemingly at random in LAX recently. I set off the machine but they couldn't find what was causing it. They let me through eventually and I was a bit put out until I saw a female pilot being put through the same search!

I think you're being a tad dramatic, tbh.

Wtf? Did your husband have to have a pat down too or just you because anything to do with a baby is seen as a woman’s job?

Yes, that's why they patted her down, not because she was the one carrying the milk

I had a body pat down in Dubai (although I was allowed to go behind a curtain) and I found it very unpleasant. It wasn’t as invasive as yours but I was randomly chosen (no liquids etc) and I was travelling long distance alone with my young son, and I found it quite unpleasant to have a lady who was very covered up in hijab etc touching me closely - it felt unpleasant because of the imbalance of power. The security people did nothing to put me at ease.

I know we have to check that we aren’t all smuggling liquids/drugs etc etc but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t feel invasive and your experience in public sounds really horrid for you OP.

raviolidreaming

That link you posted refers to fresh breast milk (up to 2000mls.) It does not apply to bottled formulas. Can you show where it does?

Oh god and now the word "grope" is being used. I've searched folk for years and not once have I "groped" them.

Could you have split the milk between you and your husband?....there are rules for a reason

Btw, to clarify - I don't think security did wrong or that the checks are wrong but you can still feel completely overwhelmed by something like this happening to you.

You can still agree with the checks and the reason behind them and feel traumatised - the two are not mutually exclusive.

Some of these posters clearly don't understand that there aren't different sizes of ready made formula you can buy...its 7oz bottles only.
Also vagina/ vulva.. bore off.
Agree with you OP.

I'd have felt uncomfortable. Cannot believe you were subject to this invasive body search when just trying to feed your baby.

I find it hard to believe that anyone who travels to the US doesn't realise just how strict their security is. I'm actually surprised that they even let you keep the milk. The security sees thousands of people every day, I don't think you were singled out because they wanted to feel you up.

Veterinari- I was forced to choose to feed my baby or have my intimates searched, not for 4 minutes, but 4 times.

Sorry to drip feed but forgot to add, previous to this full body pat down I had also walked through their full body, X-ray scanning machine and was cleared there. They also rubbed a detector swab over my hands and shoes as I had a pushchair also. This was right before they asked who the milk belonged to. Surely those full body scanners are adequate to detect hidden detonators? Again not complaining about security and glad they are so comprehensive but still feel the groin search ott, especially now I consider the body scanner.

It’s blatantly obvious the OP meant vulva. She was patted down in front of other travellers so she would hardly had her vagina touched stood there in front of them. It’s just unkind to pick up on the phrase when it’s obvious she meant vulva.

I’m sorry you felt so humiliated OP. I would have felt the same in your shoes even though I know security staff had to do it.

There are some very snowflakey women on this thread.

Get over yourselves.

The alternative is to allow a bomber to get onto the plane.

And she didn't have her vagina searched. That means fingers inside. Let's stop all the drama, eh?

And sorry if I said 4 minutes not 4 times, my mistake.

PollyPerky
raviolidreaming That link you posted refers to fresh breast milk (up to 2000mls.) It does not apply to bottled formulas. Can you show where it does?

It's 3rd down on the list. Formula / cows milk.

MyKingdomForBrie and Nick I’d have assumed that the whole party travelling together would need to be searched in this instance

Not pleasant but neither is having a plane blown up. And I guess they can't exempt mums from searches as that would be an easy loophole! What could be a better alternative do you think? Ideally we'd live in better times I suppose!

Op, I think you need to get some perspective, you have not had your intimates searched. And you said in your post is was a four min pat down, is that a mistype?

sadie you seem so self centred. You were searched. It wasn't your vagina. I bet you used that word in your title here to get a reaction.
I am sure you know the difference.

When are you going to see the other side? Just put it out of your mind and get on with your day.

All you people who are feeling reassured by the TSA gropings should look-up all the weapons that have been smuggled through TSA to test them.

When I’m standing in my little cell waiting for a female TSA staff member to search me, I watch all the young men breezing through security and wonder why they always believe it is the disabled, the pregnant or the young mothers who are up to no good.

Oh come on it is hardly snowflakey to be uncomfortable with someone touching your vulva. You might agree to it, know exactly why it is happening, be happy to comply because you know the alternative is people slipping through and blowing up a plane yada yada but if it makes you uncomfortable it makes you uncomfortable.

Ravioli the list refers to what can be carried as hand luggage. It does NOT give the quantity for any of the other types of milk. The 2000mls only applies to breast milk. You are reading the table incorrectly.