Having my vagina touched in security, aibu to feel pissed?

[sadiesnakes]

Just back from a short break to New York. I brought my 7 mth old dd, who is being fed aptimil formula, so purchased the individual 7oz bottles to cut out having no proper sterilized water facility’s in the hotel we stayed in. On the out going flight I packed 6 bottles and 4 baby food pouches which were put through a scanning machine thingie in security to detect whatever bad things it is they are looking for, reassured it was perfectly safe for the baby food, no problems. On the way back we had a short stopover, flying from LaGuardia to Dulles to Dublin (home). I had 6 milks in carryon and went through security, which is understandably very tight, no complaints there. All bags were scanned and again baby food was flagged. It was explained to me, since the bottles of formula were 7oz and not smaller I had a choice to either have them confiscated or accept an invasive 4 minute pat down. Since the trip was expected to be at least 12 hours I had no choice but to accept the pat down as my baby would obviously be starving and needed to be fed without question. It was thoroughly explained to me exactly how long it would take and what would happen, my sensitive areas would be gone over with the backs of the female security officers hand, I accepted and the pat down began, I was totally fine with everything, slightly embarrassed as it was done in front of a lot of other travelers but wanted to get it over with as pushed for time. She checked hair , neck, arms, chest, back, breasts, stomach, backside, up and down the insides of my legs, both front and back, so four times, but each time touched my vagina. Now im not prudish etc and understand they need to be very comprehensive in their searches, but this made me so uncomfortable I felt like bursting out crying. My Dh was holding the baby and all our luggage and was looking at me concerned and I felt so embarrassed. Basically I am saying aibu in being angry and humiliated that in order to have formula food for a 7 mth old baby for a 12 hour travelling period I have to have my vagina searched 4 times and does this actually make any sense, security wise? Sorry this is actually quite long😳.

Airport security is a charade.

As many people travel on London Underground as at Heathrow every day but we don't have pat downs at Oxford Circus because it's not feasible. And still the world turns

Thats outrageous.

What they should have asked you / offered is if they could open the bottles and test them and put them through their detector that does this especially. We've flown through JFK before with 4+ bottles of formula (not the ready made but in own bottles) and had no problem.

The issue is TSA operatives are arseholes and often bend the rules and its not unless you ask them specifically and ask to speak to a supervisor as you know this can be done, that you get what you need. They are also very fond of intimate pat downs and clothing taken off in a public area where everyone queuing can see - if you ask to be taken to a private room, its often considered that you're causing a scene for some reason.

Ok for the third time, so a woman with a baby shouldn’t be searched?

So a lot of you are saying that people should be profiled?

Women with babies shouldn’t be stopped? Especially the white ones?

TSA operatives aren’t assholes. Most I encounter are polite and nice.

You honestly think they get a kick out of what they do?

They’re doing a job.

Airport security is a charade

I totally agree. It is just big business for the security companies.

Airport security is a charade yes this!

Mi5 know who to profile and who to look for, yet Mrs miggins (chance of being terrorist 0.000001%), gets the same treatment as a fighting age male who’s been mysteriously to Turkey 10 times in the last year, we need to apply common sense.
My DH is a pilot and he had his water confiscated (forgot it was in his flight bag, in a hurry). He’s THE PILOT, if he wanted to bring the plane down/cause death and destruction/make a political point through violent means, he can just fly the plane into the ground/building/mountain.... 100ml of water will make no difference! We’ve gone mad with it.

mogulfield Rules are rules

Definitely not a pleasant experience. But they HAVE to check. I also think "loose fitting harem pants" might have raised alarm levels, that sort of loose, drapey fabric is just what I'd choose to wear if I was thinking of smuggling things through security strapped to my thighs or hidden in my underwear. Far less noticeable than if you were wearing jeans, tailored trousers or leggings.

When we're flying, and especially to and from the States, it's about making things easier on yourself. Minimal jewellery which won't set off the scanners. Slip on shoes. No clothing with fussy metal trims or fastenings. No belt.

I know this is horrible OP but I think it is needed. They have no idea what you might be hiding. I have actually met someone who got through security with drugs by shoving them up their vagina, it's not that uncommon and they're just fulfilling protocol. They're not doing it just to make you uncomfortable but I understand that it wouldn't be the nicest thing in the world.

I know this is horrible OP but I think it is needed

It really isn't thepondstakemanhatten but if you disagree, perhaps you can explain why

sorry but I am going to be another pedant and say no you did NOT have your "vagina" touched four times.

I have actually met someone who got through security with drugs by shoving them up their vagina, it's not that uncommon and they're just fulfilling protocol

So do you think we should all have our vaginas searched when we travel by plane? Because the search of the OP would not have found those drugs and plenty of people are getting away with this stuff even so. Ergo: treating the OP like that was not much help in preventing small things being smuggled onto the airplane.

well that's a bit silly, I know people who have smuggled drugs in their anus or stomach, doesn't mean those areas get felt up on a standard airport queue. anyway the OP didn't have her vagina touched.

I hate airport travel with all the faff and hassle. In the Uk if I have to travel from Edinburgh to London ( which I do often) I will take the train over the plane any day.

The idea that pat downs at airports are keeping us all safe is ludicrous.

In Britain this year we have had Westminster Bridge, Manchester Arena and London Bridge/Borough Market.

I get the routine pat down search, including someone's hand on my crotch, every time I fly from Egypt, where we live, to the UK, where we visit family. It doesn't bother me at all.

My 11 & 9yo dds, however, find it distressing. 13yo ds invariably mooches through without a stop.

It's rather grim & I really don't see how it prevents anything.

If I'd chosen - horrific scenario - to blow up a plane on which myself & my 3dc are travelling, the girls & I would presumably have whatever we're needing for that purpose cached internally.

I'm never convinced that taking my 9yo off into a cubicle to search her - sweep over her body including her breasts & between her legs - is going to thwart much terrorism.

It's not a big deal for us in itself. I've discussed with my daughters how it's an embarrassing thing security have to do, & totally different from how they wouldn't normally be expected to consent to someone touching their breasts & vulvas without it being for medical purposes.

They don't like it.

Agree with PPs that it's about being seen to do something.

How does being groped at the airport keep us safe?

US airport security is shit and they behave like rule following brainless morons. Do some bloody profiling: an irish mum travelling with her baby is highly highly unlikely to blow up the plane. And if she were, she would be just as likely to give whatever it is will detonate the plane to her husband, ffs. There's no reason for such an intrusive search, it doesn't increase safety and it is very shit.
Someone mentioned israel upthread, and how they've learnt from the Israelis. Well, no they haven't! If you travel from Tel Aviv there is NO restriction on liquids, you can take as much as you want through. What they do do is talk to you during the security checks and watch you carefully. Yes, it's profiling and it can be shit if you are flagged but that's what makes it safe, not an intrusive pat down of a mum with baby formula.

US airport security is shit and they behave like rule following brainless morons. Do some bloody profiling: an irish mum travelling with her baby is highly highly unlikely to blow up the plane. And if she were, she would be just as likely to give whatever it is will detonate the plane to her husband, ffs. There's no reason for such an intrusive search, it doesn't increase safety and it is very shit.
Someone mentioned israel upthread, and how they've learnt from the Israelis. Well, no they haven't! If you travel from Tel Aviv there is NO restriction on liquids, you can take as much as you want through. What they do do is talk to you during the security checks and watch you carefully. Yes, it's profiling and it can be shit if you are flagged but that's what makes it safe, not an intrusive pat down of a mum with baby formula.

I disagree with ummms comment about profiling. Firstly, profiling isn't a good idea as potential terrorists just change strategy in reaction. Secondly (and very importantly) given how upsetting the op (quite understandably) found the experience, imagine how shit it would be to face the same thing almost every time you fly because you (e.g.) have brown skin or the wrong surname... and I do think profiling already happens to too great an extent already

No one said it's about having brown skin.
But you're living in fantasy world if you ignore probabilities

I mean probabilities in terms of what people are doing, who they are flying with
And talking to them out and checking them out

But if your talking about probabilities... the probability that a potential terrorist is going to see people with a certain profile (maybe a beard/tan marks to suggest a recently shaved beard, male, not Irish, not a mum... whatever..) is going to choose to send someone who meets that profile through is daft. And I'm sorry, but a lot of the time it IS about having brown skin, the wrong surname, or the wrong country of origin...

Yes, my 14 year old DD was patted down at security last time we flew. I have no idea why, as she had nothing to set off the alarm. It was horrible to watch, I thought it was invasive.

I do agree with you though about the intrusive search - I just don't like the ide that it should be reserved for certain groups of people