Woman charges family £30 per adult for Christmas dinner!

[Butterfr33]

There's a lady whose story is circulating online and has appeared on 'This Morning'. She charges the adults in her family £30 each for food and drinks for Christmas Day. This has caused a lot of outrage!

AIBU to agree with her? One person can't be expected to pay for 12+ people's food and drinks, of course the should contribute! In the past she's tried 'bring a dish' but people were unreliable and most would forget!

Seems reasonable to me, in fact quite cheap really.

I'm a bit on the fence here. I can see why it would get expensive to cater for everyone, but I couldn't personally fathom charging my family to come around to dinner. If I couldn't afford it, I'd either just not do it at all or cut down massively on what I was offering (just do lunch, no breakfast, snacks etc; and put a big limit on the booze or ask people to being a bottle with them).

£360 for food and drink for 12 people one day is a lot! It sounds really excessive to me. What on earth is she cooking that costs that much?

A friend of mine's SIL did this a few years ago, but it was just for the meal. They haven't been back.

If this lady does it every year, and provides everything all day, then I suppose for an adult it isn't that much.

I’d be happy to pay for someone else taking responsibility for all the planning, shopping and cooking. Sounds reasonable to me

Surely it's just the whole family paying towards Christmas that happens to be held at her house? We always contribute when we visit family for Christmas as do they when it is held at our house.

I had a load of family over for a Christmas style lunch and tea last weekend and tbh, I don't think she'd be making much if any money out of it if they all drink.

Catering for that number of people is expensive, even if you buy sprouts from Aldi.

I think she could phrase it better, by calling it a suggested donation rather than a charge though.

The guests involved had their chance to provide someone in previous years.

If she's got space I am in! Cheaper than having it here for just our little family.

@OliviaStabler So if you went to relatives for Christmas where all the rest of your family is, you expect to eat and drink all day without contributing. That person forks out for you?

Now that would be rude!

Sounds fine to me. We do similar, in that we agree beforehand what everyone will provide, so someone will buy the turkey, someone else will get booze etc. If we worked on your theory Olivia we would all have to spend Christmas separately because no one family could afford to host. How can it possibly be rude to split things fairly among family?

To be honest my family have always done this. As one of six with 7 nephews/nieces it would be a bit much expecting one person to foot the bill and only one or two of us have enough space.
Unfortunately I live too far away to join.

Does Christmas dinner cost £360?

Erm yes! last years my groceries topped £1000. This is for a big family christmas, arrival drinks and nibbles, free range kelly bronze turkey, free range gammon joint and all the trimmings, dessert buffet ( I get the catering size ones from cook at £16 each, 6 or 8 of those ) plus wine, beer, this tipple and that favoured soft drink, cheese board and sausage rolls for afternoon tea....... it adds up. I can afford to cover that but I think a £30 cover charge sound very fair and sensible if this lady can’t

I bring bread sauce and gravy, they use granules 😖

If her family are happy to pay the £30 let her do it. Turkey for 12 people is going to set her back upwards of £70, a ham another £40, Christmas pudding £20, add the special ingredients, chocolate, wine, other booze. I hope she does make a profit to pay for the hours of kitchen work. You certainly wouldn't get an all inclusive Christmas dinner for £30 anywhere else.

Sounds sensible. Better if the adults had offered but otherwise entirely reasonable.
When we used to go to our parents in laws for Christmas Day and Boxing Day (used to stay in a premier inn nearby) my husband sent a cheque beforehand. It would be unreasonable to expect a couple of pensioners to cover all the costs for a family of eight and another two families of five and three.
When we go away with friends at New Year I do a huge Tesco online delivery against a set menu that everyone agrees is OK then we just divide the costs of food and accommodation fairly according to ability to pay, size of family and number of nights people are staying. Always worked out amicably and people bring Christmas leftover chocolates, drinks, non perishables to add to kitchen supplies.

I think if I did this it would worry me that I was almost seen as being employed to turn out a lot of food to a certain standard on Christmas day, and I would feel pressured, especially if something went wrong. Perhaps that's just me though.

For all day, including drinks, I don't think it's unreasonable especially if it's good quality stuff.

When we did Christmas dinner for 18 at SIL's house, SIL bought the turkey and most of the booze and we bought/made everything else. I was really surprised how expensive it was. A gammon, pudding, brandy for the brandy butter, all the veg, cheeses, chestnuts, goose fat - it came to far more than I'd ever have guessed. I can't remember how much it came to, but it was more than half the total cost of the food.

The bit that pissed me off was when I only got one small glass out of the expensive wine I'd brought to have with dinner and they didn't have anything nearly as nice!

Now I'm older I realise what an achievement it is to get a 16lb turkey, 4 vegs, gravy stuffing bread sauce chipolatas for 12 to the table at a specific time and all steaming hot.
And that's not counting pud.

I'd be surprised if there's any change out of the £360 if she's supplying the whole lot.
I usually spend about £500 for 15 and that's half children so not a huge amount of alcohol.

You certainly wouldn't get an all inclusive Christmas dinner for £30 anywhere else

I broke my wrist just before Christmas one year and my ex and I went to a local hotel for Christmas lunch. It was £85 each, without drinks, and that was 9 years ago.

Mind you, it was very nice, and the surroundings were lovely.

In our family we either take stuff eg someone will bring puddings and cheeseboard, someone else will bring wine and soft drinks etc ornwengive cash eg DHs nan will give the money for the meat
That way the person hosting isn’t having to pay for it all and the cost and labour is spread between everyone.

I suspect the ones on here saying they wouldn’t consider charging people are the ones who earn 100k or more, if I earned that then I would pay for it all myself too but when you are on a lower wage and don’t have a lot of surplus money then it’s only fair for everyone to chip in.
It’s not black and white and sometimes I will say to someone like MIL don’t worry about contributing as she has our kids in the School holidays etc and when I host I definitely pay the lions Share even with everyone contributing

At the end of the day if everyone stayed home and cooked and provided for themselves they would spend more than £30!!

I don't see a problem with it, if her relatives are happy to pay. When I used to go to a family Christmas lunch, we all bought something, and I used to get a bit annoyed that I always got told to bring the prawns (usually cost me about $100AUD for two kilos) as a single adult, whilst someone with a family of 6 would bring a salad. So I'd have been happy with a fair cost to everyone.

Ferrier, quite true, the butchers bill comes to £300 alone here. Makes me wonder how much free loading some people are doing that they think £30 a head is loads

I find it bizzare that anyone would think this woman is being “grabby”.expecting to eat or drink and not contribute is what’s grabby in my view.

I wouldn’t do it personally, but can see the rationale of everyone chipping in.

However we are probably going to now see something similar to the pay your own v split the bill threads with folks saying I don’t eat or drink much, why should I pay for others gluttony, sigh.

£30 is a bit steep but I couldn't afford to host for lots of people without them contributing

I am another in two minds over this. It has never even occurred to me to ask my family for food/drinks money when I invite them for Christmas Dinner, although each usually brings wine or chocolates. Equally, I haven't offered money for when I have gone to my family's place for Christmas dinners in the past. On reflection, it's probably not a bad idea to ask for some financial contribution, but.... I dunno, I shall think about it.