Woman charges family £30 per adult for Christmas dinner!

[Butterfr33]

There's a lady whose story is circulating online and has appeared on 'This Morning'. She charges the adults in her family £30 each for food and drinks for Christmas Day. This has caused a lot of outrage!

AIBU to agree with her? One person can't be expected to pay for 12+ people's food and drinks, of course the should contribute! In the past she's tried 'bring a dish' but people were unreliable and most would forget!

[LexieLulu]

Someone said it's £30 per adult and she hosts for 6 adults and 6 kids. That's £180 not £360.

£180 for a massive feast and booze is good x

[SlothMama]

If this fully covers the cost of food and drink and none goes into her pocket then fine. Otherwise she's being a CF.

[Willow2017]

If she has such an ungrateful family who are quite happy to decend on her en masse without bringing anything to contribute and expect her to feed them and thier kids year after year then i think she is quite right. She is providing food all day for how many? It must cost a fortune. They should be glad to contribute look at what they are saving in time and money.

[MoosicalDaisy]

£30 pp is very reasonable, it's just covering the cost of ALL meals and drinks for the day... plus the lady is catering and not sitting on her arse like everyone else, so fair play.

[lalalalyra]

If people don't like it they don't need to go...

We sort of do this. Our house is the only one with space for everyone, we're the most central in terms of transport and between our house, PIL & OMIL we can house everyone on sofas and Diane beds, so it was decided about 8 years ago every Christmas would be here as it means everyone can be together. There's no way we're forking out for 20-27 people every year, and none of our family would expect or want us too either.

Funnily enough the only person who ever complained was a gf of BIL who declared if we hosted we should pay and we were cheeky fuckers. She soon changed her mind when she decided one September she'd host and started looking into costings - suddenly it was worth £27ish each for everything

[LaurieFairyCake]

It's fine if they're happy to pay and have an understanding of how much things cost.

I think it's clear even from this thread that there are wildly different ideas of how much things cost. Last time I bought a turkey it was £80 - a lovely Kelly Bronze. You can do it much cheaper if you buy a non free range turkey or chicken though.

I had no change out of £400 for the day including decent wine/cheese/nibbles beforehand for 10. They stayed all day and had an evening buffet too. Yes, there was plenty of leftovers.

[lalalalyra]

Diane beds = spare beds

[Frillyhorseyknickers]

If you invite someone to your house for a dinner party, it is completely unreasonable to then charge them for the pleasure, having invited them over.

However, it's 2017 and people do batshit odd things. So no, it's not correct, but if she wants to do that, fine. I would never dream of charging any of my family to come for supper, and I have a lot more than 6 to cater for.

[Roussette]

I've read the info on the woman who charges. Fair enough she does it every year and obviously her family are happy with this. I get that.

As a one off, no! We just take it in turns then everyone has a cost when it's their turn. Plus I always take stuff if I go elsewhere.

[ReanimatedSGB]

I am wondering why it's hit the headlines if this has been working for this family for years. Maybe someone's got a new partner who is lazy, greedy and entitled and who has been saying 'You can't charge your faaaaamly' without taking into account the cost and the work of hosting Christmas.
It sounds fair enough to me. It's a lot less than you would pay for a restaurant for just the one meal, let alone the fact that she's hosting the whole day.

[PiggyPlumPie]

I hosted my DPs, DPILs, BIL, and 2 siblings when my DC were tiny. I asked for £10 each towards the meat and nobody minded at all.

[trixymalixy]

I don't really see a problem with this. It's a bit more direct than most people are comfortable with I guess.

We tend to have everybody bring something, but then we realised that my Uncle who is single and probably with the most disposable cash never brought or cooked anything. He was most put out to be asked to bring smoked salmon and prawns one year

I think he genuinely had no idea how much it cost to put on such a big dinner for so many people.

[mumof2sarah]

I kind of agree with her, everyone who has Christmas lunch at my mums buys something off the list and brings their own drinks. So say they provide desserts or the veg or the nibbles etc and then mum buys the turkeys. It works fantastic and no one spends loads that way. If she's supplying each adults alcohol, meal, desserts and nibbles it seems right to me x

[WorraLiberty]

At first I thought OMG no, how tight.

But thinking about it, families have chipped in since the dawn of time, either with food/drink or money if the host prefers to shop and organise.

It's a bit weird they're making a 'thing' of it and invited her onto TV.

£30 is steep imo but then again, my family don't do the whole champagne/cheese boards/3 course meal. Others do, so £30 would be fair enough.

[maybebabyyes]

I also read that it includes food all day, drink all day, main meal and snacks and a gift each!! A good bottle of wine can be nearly a tenner, big lunch, endless chocs and crisps and no washing up?! It's a bloody bargain

[LaurieFairyCake]

I've actually stopped doing Christmas for family as we can't afford to pay for all the food and drink. I'd started to become resentful at paying out £400 to have people not appreciate it or have no idea how much it cost.

There was never any offer to contribute and they never brought anything with them. That's 10 people who never brought or offered anything.

Last year we couldn't host as we'd literally just moved and were surrounded by boxes - they didn't invite us - in fact they STILL asked why we hadn't invited them

[sonjadog]

We've done this a few times in my family when the person hosting doesn't have a lot of money. Christmas dinner for 10+ people is expensive, but as well as the dinner there is lunch, breakfasts, dinner Boxing Day and Christmas Eve (we are all too far away just to turn up for one meal). I'd much rather pay than the host worry about how they are going to afford it all. I've never heard anyone in my family complain.

[Someoneasdumbasthis]

We invited all of mine and DHs family to ours this year. over 30 including children. DM and Dsis have already asked what they can bring but no ILs (as yet - sure they will nearer the time!) But we invited them all, and there is absolutely no way I would ask people to donate cash. Bring somethiing - yes - less to do and helps with cost. But cash feels a little grubby (and grabby!)

[BackBoiler]

My sisters friend goes to a family member and they pay £50 per head!

[FindoGask]

I hosted some friends for Christmas dinner one year in my twenties when things were tight financially. I did ask for contributions towards the cost of the meal and booze, which went down like a lead balloon, and I do cringe when I think about that these days. Especially because I overcooked everything. I definitely wouldn't do the same now. It depends on what's the norm in your circle though doesn't it.

[BerylStreep]

I've cooked every year for the last 14 years. I've got 20 coming this year. I can see where this lady is coming from, and if her family are happy with the set up, then fine, but personally I wouldn't dream of doing this. However people will generally bring wine & mince pies.

What I find much more useful is the offer to peel mountains of spuds and parsnips.

[ZzzMarchhare]

the alternative to not being up front and asking for either money or a food contribution is not having a big family Christmas. I no longer host in laws as turning up 10 minutes before dinner with nothing to offer after promising a pudding, not even a bottle of wine, isn't really in the spirit of Christmas either!
Hosting a family Christmas is not the same as a dinner party and families should be open enough to discuss and be fair about costs.

[CorbynsBumFlannel]

I think it's grabby to ask. If you can't afford to host then say that and if people want to come they might offer to contribute.

[mugginsalert]

i'd be quite happy to be asked upfront for a reasonable amount of money like £30. I wouldn't want a family member to be out of pocket having taken on the work of hosting christmas. And it would save a lot of guessing about how much people should bring etc. which can be hard to judge.

Lots of people can't afford to spend hundreds on hosting Christmas for everyone. Why shouldn't everyone club together to enjoy a family feast?

[mindutopia]

We have done this with our family in the past. We don't do it formally when we host. Every other year or so we host my mum and step-dad, who come to stay with us for a week around Christmas (live abroad). We don't charge them per head obviously, but they do give us money, usually a couple hundred quid to put towards food and drink for the week. They eat and drink a lot and they earn considerably more than we do (like step-dad's MONTHLY income is not much less than what I'm on annually, and I have a pretty decent professional salary). They have plenty of money and want to not feel like they are burdening us financially, which we appreciate. Two years ago we hosted both them and my ILs for Christmas day, plus a few extra family for Boxing Day, and the food shopping for 3 meals a day hosting for Christmas Eve/Day/Boxing Day including drinks for all of us came to close to £700!

But in our wider family, we do a big Christmas every few years. There's close to 40 of us. We don't host, but the family members who do ask everyone to bring wine/beer to share and then it's £35 per head. That's basically for a party with food and cake on Christmas Eve, but Christmas dinner. I think that's totally reasonable. Hosting 40 people for 2 days is easily a month's salary for many people.