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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Woman charges family £30 per adult for Christmas dinner!

310 replies

Butterfr33 · 30/11/2017 07:55

There's a lady whose story is circulating online and has appeared on 'This Morning'. She charges the adults in her family £30 each for food and drinks for Christmas Day. This has caused a lot of outrage!

AIBU to agree with her? One person can't be expected to pay for 12+ people's food and drinks, of course the should contribute! In the past she's tried 'bring a dish' but people were unreliable and most would forget!

OP posts:
TrinitySquirrel · 30/11/2017 07:56

Totally reasonable imo. Unless she's a billionaire.

Heckneck · 30/11/2017 07:57

I think it depends. It's not like you're under any obligation to make them dinner. But if they're happy to put money in towards the food then that's fine.

glow1984 · 30/11/2017 07:58

YANBU. I agree with her. They shouldn't think of it as a charge, but as paying their fair share!

Jasminedes · 30/11/2017 07:59

Easier than all bringing something, if they are all happy. Logistically easier. Although might come with a bit of pressure.

ShowMeTheElf · 30/11/2017 07:59

If she's catering for 12 people of whom 6 are adults and the rest are their children then 30 per adult reasonable. if she's catering for 12 adults then there had better be some pretty special stuff for £30!

justtowarm · 30/11/2017 07:59

I think it's a bit rude to ask initially but if having done it previously and no one offered to help pay I would think they were the one being rude!

Amanduh · 30/11/2017 07:59

I personally woudn't, but that's because my family all bring things - one lot does the starter, one brings desserts, and they all bring booze. I host, cook, provide the main and all extras. It costs a fortune though and my family all bring things, so if mine didn't bring and I couldnt afford it but they expected me to host, I don't see anything wrong with asking for money towards it really.

Yogagirl123 · 30/11/2017 08:00

I wouldn’t dream of charging anyone for a meal in my home. It seems mean to do so. I am sure guests would offer to bring items.

Butterfr33 · 30/11/2017 08:00

Exactly @glow1984 . She does all the work and it takes the stress off everyone else. Surely that in itself is worth it!

I don't think anyone is under any obligation, more like 'I'm happy to host Christmas this year, £30 if you're staying for food and drinks to help cover costs!'

OP posts:
Discotits · 30/11/2017 08:01

I saw her on This Morning. The reasons she gave were valid, she needs to be in control of the cooking as her son has allergies. I mean, if you’re on a budget catering for a large group gets expensive, so fine imo.

RaptorInaPorkPieHat · 30/11/2017 08:01

As long as she's not making a profit, I think it's ok. And as long as it's clear beforehand, not a "you owe me £30" afterwards.

tillytown · 30/11/2017 08:01

Does Christmas dinner cost £360 though? What are they eating

Discotits · 30/11/2017 08:02

She said it included booze and they gave it to her upfront.

Butterfr33 · 30/11/2017 08:03

@tillytown It covers the cost of all the children too and includes food all day so breakfast, dinner and snacks. Drinks too. Very reasonable IMO.

OP posts:
Inertia · 30/11/2017 08:06

Fair if agreed beforehand with all , including what food and drink is provided, and if this person always hosts.

Not fair if extended family usually take turns to host / provide everything.

Roussette · 30/11/2017 08:08

I think it's ridiculous and brings the whole thing down to money. She must be trying to make some dosh for the january sales. £360.
? Ridiculous
My family contribute lots - drinks, desserts, dips, starters etc but no way would I dream of asking them for money. If you take it in turns you don't need to.

That woman is grabby.

2rebecca · 30/11/2017 08:09

If the family members are unhappy they can go elsewhere. Fair enough if the burden always falls on one person

TheNaze73 · 30/11/2017 08:10

What is she cooking? Roast Swan?

dustarr73 · 30/11/2017 08:10

Just makes you think why wouldnt they even offer rather than have her ask.I think £30 is very good per person.

Tillytown of course Christmas dinner and all the extras cost £360 especially for 12 people.Unless of course she uses teh mythical Mumsnet Chicken.Smile

Butterfr33 · 30/11/2017 08:11

@Roussette Did you not read the OP? People don't bring food and drinks, the lady sorts it all. She's a mum of four and hosts every year from what I understand.

I don't think it's fair to excuse her of being deceitful. I don't think she'll have much left over after feeding and watering 12 adults and all the children 😂

OP posts:
Discotits · 30/11/2017 08:11

She hosts every year, so I don’t think it’s ‘grabby’. And provides everything.

I don’t charge when people come round, but I can see why she does. I suppose the question is why was it on the TV and in the paper? Slow news day.

musicposy · 30/11/2017 08:13

I think fair enough. Cost can be a real worry at this time of year and if you're the one doing all the catering year after year it could be a huge worry.

£30 isn't bad. I imagine anyone going there for the day would save money!

OliviaStabler · 30/11/2017 08:13

Very rude to charge. If you can't afford it, don't offer to host!

InfiniteSheldon · 30/11/2017 08:13

We do this informally in my family when we have a big Gathering everybody chucks money in the pot we don't really discuss about it it's just what happens is too much for one person to pay and do otherwise. I often host and if I've had extra money left over I just say the next time no no I don't need anything this time. Bring a dish works really well with some people but my son's got two very young children and they both work full time they'd much rather give money and have a whole day off from worrying about anything

midnightmisssuki · 30/11/2017 08:14

Yanbu. Smile