Woman charges family £30 per adult for Christmas dinner!

[Butterfr33]

There's a lady whose story is circulating online and has appeared on 'This Morning'. She charges the adults in her family £30 each for food and drinks for Christmas Day. This has caused a lot of outrage!

AIBU to agree with her? One person can't be expected to pay for 12+ people's food and drinks, of course the should contribute! In the past she's tried 'bring a dish' but people were unreliable and most would forget!

[3nonblondedd78]

We used to take it in turns to host. Contributions accepted for drink but food provided buy us. MIL and dm again wouldn't charge. However one year SIL did. I was a bit WTF especially as next year she hosted for her in-laws only and was bragging about the fancy food and wine she was buying. I presume she charged them too.

[OutComeTheWolves]

I think they're getting a bargain!

I go to my sisters every year. We don't pay as such but everyone provides something so nobody is left with everything.

I usually provide booze and always spend more than £30 on booze for all of the adults. Our other sister always brings the turkey and I know she spends more than £30 too. Expecting one person to foot the cost isn't fair imo and I agree with a pp who said people's income is probably influencing their opinions here.

Eg if the cost of Christmas dinner for a large number of people is around 50% of your salary, you'll probably be much more in favour of charging guests than if it's only 5%.

I'm a part time worker on round £1k a month and my sister who hosts is on slightly less and my third sister is a sahm. We have usually either 9 or 10 adults plus 3 children attending Christmas dinner. Not one of us could afford to cater that alone but by us all providing something, we really push the boat out and we feel like we get a really luxurious feast for a bargain price.

If I earned £3k or £4K a month I'd happily pay for all of the food and drink!

[tinysparklyshoes]

dangermouse you have some nerve calling other people nasty and mean spirited, since your post is both.
Tacky and grabby? So anyone who can't afford to spend hundreds on feeding their entire family should just stay home alone?
What a nasty person you are!

[passemoilevin]

My dad has already given me £30 towards Christmas dinner. He'll bring his own booze too. He's a good egg.

[SlowlyShrinking]

Isn’t this just a case of some people can afford to pay for everyone’s dinner and some people can’t? If everyone involved is happy with the arrangement then it’s not big deal 🤷‍♀️

[thecatsthecats]

Nope. I've made cursory glances at magazines, but not read them, first year on mumsnet, but I've been to lots of Christmas Dinners, hosted them amongst friends, family etc (I usually have at least three in different households), and never encountered served starters.

Canapes, nibbles etc served on the side - blinis etc. Made my own even (a kind of sprout and bacon tartlet). But no one has ever served a starter. Just one big meal that could sink a ship, and bits and bobs before and after to fill the edges.

I'm not having a go or saying it's wrong FGS, just something I've never encountered and find a bit strange in the context of the meals I've had.

[Butterfr33]

@dangermouse7

It's just the three of us at Christmas, which suits us fine

The ladies family don't bring drink and nibbles she provides all the food and drink so surely it is only fair that they contribute to the cost?

She's not saying if you don't pay you can't come to my house! She's saying if you want to stay to eat and drink, your fair share is £30. Fair enough.

[Lilliepixie]

Dangermouse- if you all take turns in paying/all families regularly have people over then that's a great way to equal it out. But it's not fair if one person/family pays for everything.
Can you not see this?
And criticising how much people spend for Christmas isn't nice.
We're all different, some families will have one glass of wine with dinner, some 2 bottles!

[lalalalyra]

Our Christmas food & drink bill was around £900 last year for 29 people.

There are 27 (plus 3 babies) coming this year. Thankfully they aren't rude enough to expect us to foot the cost every year (we're the only ones with space).

[Rebeccaslicker]

Charging seems very alien to me - it's not something you would normally do in a social situation. My parents always hosted or took everyone out on christmas day, but then they had abigger house and more money than either of their siblings or parents.

However I can see that if you are always hosting every year that it could be pricey. I just think contributions feel less mercenary, so one person brings some wine, one crackers etc, and rotate it.

The Cheese poster- please come to mine for christmas this year. No such thing as "too much cheese"

[Lilliepixie]

There's about 15 of us for Christmas dinner, another 10-15 for drinks, but some years we have the neighbours in (there's about 25 of them)
So could be 50 people to cater for. £1000 would go nowhere

[ZigZagandDustin]

Lol about the starters. Funnily enough a friend was giving out about her family refusing to have a starter because it was unnecessarily posh.

[dangermouse7]

My post is nowhere near as mean spirited and 'nasty' than the horrible one the OP aimed at me.

Charging your family for lunch when you have invited them is tacky and grabby. End of.

[ZigZagandDustin]

Too much cheese.....mmm cheese fondue on New Years Eve??

[SingingSeuss]

You host, you pay. If she doesn't want to pay then she needs to stop inviting people.

[dangermouse7]

All I said was I would not go, and me and my family eat at each others homes and do not charge money, and charging money it doesn't sit well with me, and the OP lunged at me, attacked me, and calling me a greedy cheeky fucker.

Have a go at her if you're gonna have a go at anyone.

[ZigZagandDustin]

Dangermouse, 'end of' doesn't actually mean you have the last word or only correct opinion on this.

Maybe it should be more that people not offering to pay (or bring a substantial food/drink contribution) towards the meal is tacky and grabby. Then the onus is on the host to refuse the offer if they don't feel they need it.

[dangermouse7]

Amazing how many people on here have 25-30 people around for Christmas lunch, and spend £1000 on it.

In real life, I don't know a SOUL who does that.

Not one.

Only on mumsnet does this happen

[Butterfr33]

@dangermouse7 Your ignoring the point I've made that no one else contribute to the food and drink or the fact that the lady hosts every year. They don't take it in turns. Would you be happy to go there year after year and not contribute just because you were invited?

[dangermouse7]

And........... I am done on the thread, coz I am seeing a lot of verrrry tall stories.

[lalalalyra]

In real life, I don't know a SOUL who does that.

I only know one other person that does it.

It's why it's annoying when people who've never done it get judgy about how we do it!

[Lilliepixie]

We're all different dangermouse
Life would be boring if we were all the same

[Flowershower]

Sounds reasonable to me - you're not just paying for the food and drink but for all of her hard work, electricity /gas cooking it, tidying up afterwards, time spent buying all of the food...good on her I reckon

[IceFall]

I think it is quite a good idea - the finnacila burden shouldn't always fall on one person.

My sibling 'does' xmas and I always feel bad that I don't pay anything! I take wine and cheese and stuff but it for sure isn't an equivalent cost of hosting every year.

[Willow2017]

Dangermouse
Are you deliberately misding the point?

Its not just a couple of people fot lunch. its all day all meals all snacks all drinks for 6 families plus the host.
To expect your mum to cater for all that every sodding year without contributing a thing is greedy and lazy. None of the family bring anything to help feed them all. Maybe in your family they do but not in this poor womans case it must have cost her a fortune every year.

I would never expect someone to cater for 6 families without a everyone making a contribution.