AIBU that you just can't rely on your friends

[fireburnsimoutinthecold]

I don't mean this to sound critical.

The thing is this. I am in a bit of a hole where I have a hospital appointment on Friday, and I have a 2 year old. Because it is in a city which is about an hour and a half away and it might get to be two hours getting back because of traffic, I need someone to watch her for the afternoon and early evening. And no one can.

Like I say I don't mean to sound critical of anybody. What I mean is that when people say you need a support network with children, what does this actually mean? Ime people will help for very short chunks of time or in an absolute dire emergency but most of the time with friends your a long way down the priority list - you come after their own kids, partners, and families.

So what do other people do?

I find the majority WAY nicer than Heathrow staff.

Er ok

Oops! Sorry!!

I don’t think that (by MN standards) I’m a very good friend eg I wouldn’t appreciate being called at 3am because you’d broken up with your boyfriend and I’m more likely to provide a blunt solution to your problem than listen to you rant/sob for hours however I would absolutely take your child while you were in hospital (and have done in fact) or in an emergency.

This!

The other night my friend called me at 10pm . Would I watch her kids as she went to A and E ( broken arm). I was there in 10 mins. Leaving my daughter with my boyfriend.

I honestly think your friends are being horrible to not even have your dd at their house.
Unless they are busy on Christmas nights out but surely not all.

I don't think it's a case of friends not being able to be relied upon, and family can. There are many families who wouldn't help out, and many friends who would. It just depends on the individuals concerned.

When my children were small, I had several friends I could ask for favours like this, and did do on occasion. I was also there for them. But, they were close friends, who I told everything about my life to (I was married to an abusive man), and I knew all about theirs too, so we supported each other.

It doesn't sound like your friends are particularly close, if you wouldn't tell them about why you need this help, so that's probably why they won't help. They're just not close enough.

Anyway, you said it's sorted now. Did you change the appointment?

For the future, I suggest you make some close friendships, with people who you can tell anything and who WILL support you. They are out there, they're not a myth.
Oh, and it sounds like you're doing the right thing leaving this man.

OP Do not tell your friends what is the surgery for as suggested by a previous poster as some people are good at judging but shit at helping. If I was you, I would say it’s some colposcopy? Or somethingg gyno related but very different.

Wish I could help.