*Keatingskids
The first incident happened when I had my dc, bil came to visit with the rest of the family, sat very quiet and didn't pay much attention to DC, sil didn't visit but was pregnant herself and due a few months after, I put it down to bil being a bit nervous of the new baby and the sil too tired. She didn't take any interest in any photos of DC either, this was picked up on by others, I wasn't bothered as my own siblings were fab.
Bil and sil DC arrived a few months after, we went to visit, DC has an unusual middle name, I asked what it means, bil replied 'better than your dc'. I was a little taken a back but laughed, an awkward laugh.
We don't have a close relationship, they don't live near to us a good few hours drive.
Over the next few months DC became a big baby, top of the growth charts. Got a call from the fil to say bil had been in touch said he had seen photos of DC and said he was concerned DC is fat. Again I was a bit taken a back that this was discussed in their family and just said whilst he's big and chubby no concerns by HV were raised.
Cut to the Christmas so DC was a year, we went to the family hometown, took gifts for their dc, came to Xmas day exchanged gifts when they said they didn't realise we were giving gifts for the babies and hadn't got out DC anything, they would buy something a few days later and they did. Over that holiday bil commented that DC looks like a family friend, that family friend that they joke looks like Shrek, mil got cross and told bil to stop.
The summer after there was a family party, I was in the garden with DC, bil was with his DC, said to his 'look at R running around with his fat legs, look at those fat legs' I felt embarrassed and upset but didn't comment back.
DC 2nd birthday they send a top sized 6-7 years and a skateboard, odd but sent a thank you and a photo of DC trying to skate. Christmas, me and DS get a card with £10 from bil and sil. DH gets a separate card from them and gifts. Again I didn't make any comment.
All above comments etc seemed to end after that Xmas, I thought I was being silly and just ignored it all even if other people commented.
Last year, my dc turned 3, we invited them to his birthday, understood it was a long way to come etc and weren't really expecting them to come, they didn't even reply to say they weren't and then sent the gifts in Xmas paper.
This year their dc turned 3, we went and visited and went out for the day with them, gave their dc nice gifts, that had been mentioned she wanted.
Over the summer we visited again (we don't stay in their house we have somewhere else to stay) had a nice few weeks where we saw them a lot and the cousins got close finally.
Only comment made was my dc decided to travel in his PJ's, turned up at family house and it was pointed out that DC was in his PJ's and how silly he looked, their dc was encouraged to laugh at him.
Got to DC birthday, because of better things to do in the family hometown area we decided to go there and make a weekend of things to do. Invited bil and sil, told they were too busy and wouldn't be able to come to anything we had planned. Not an issue for us. Saw them for about two hours in total over the 4 days we were there. Didn't visit at all on DC birthday (we were 10 minutes away)
And as I say gifts were odd wrapping again.
They seem to blow hot and cold. I can't work out if I'm being unreasonable, oversensitive or what?
I don't confront any of what is said or done, it's obviously discussed between me and DH. DH says bil is jealous as our DC are opposite sex and he wanted a boy so is bitter towards ours.
I have never had any issues in my own family and have a lot more siblings and nieces and nephews.
This could have been another thread but putting it all together as I say really it's far more than just Xmas wrapping on a birthday gift.