To want his birthday not to be connected with Christmas?

[MrsBonato]

My dc is 4 on Monday. The very beginning of December. He was due on Christmas Eve and thankfully came early. I thought we wouldn't have Christmas things around his birthday.
Last year my bil and sil sent his birthday gifts wrapped in Christmas paper. I was ok with it and didn't make any comment until ds went to open them and said 'these are Christmas presents'. DH then had a bit of a moan to mil who I presume said to bil about it as we got a apology via text a little while after.

This year he has received a gift from a friend of the family, I had a sneak look at what it was, she clearly said it was for his birthday. It is a snowman Christmas ornament with chocolate coins and an advent calendar. My ds will again say that these are Christmas things.

I wouldn't be surprised if bil and sil repeat what they did last year either.

Am I being ungrateful? Is my dc being ungrateful in thinking he hasn't actually been given birthday gifts but just Christmas gifts?

And anyone else with a child who has a birthday even closer to Christmas, how do you deal with it?

Just to add, I'm not being harsh on my bil, there is other things he's done to our ds before this and despite being invited is yet to actually attend a birthday for dc. He isn't a fab uncle at all and I did originally put it down to its just them, until I received these gifts for him today from someone else.

I have my own nephew who's birthday is even closer to Christmas and we have never sent anything remotely Christmas like to him, hence why I wondered what is acceptable and if it was just us being ungrateful and demanding.

If he’s going to whinge about presents again this year, send the gifts straight to a charity

I think the child was genuinely confused and asked for clarification - nothing wrong with that

Is your nephew your bil and sil's son OP? (The one with a December birthday?)

2 dc have december birthdays - 14th and 15th. DC3 was due on 1st, but thankfully arrived 10 days early. I entirely blame the Easter bunny.

I blame that bunny to, my DS was born on 14 th December to, I think I worked it out I conceived on Easter Monday that year!

Well yeah, as @GreenTulips says, the boy has a right to complain. ANYone would complain (child OR adult) if someone gave them a frikkkin advent calendar wrapped in Christmas paper for their birthday in JUNE. So why is acceptable to do this to someone in early December?

As I said, I would do the same to them and their kids. Fuck it, why not!

If he’s going to whinge about presents again this year, send the gifts straight to a charity

What a nasty thing to say about a 3 year old - he was confused, and its clear to see why.

My nephew is my brother's son, so in my family.

The bil and sil child is I guess close to Easter in their birthday. But all they have done and said to my ds as much as I'd be tempted to send Easter gifts for their dc birthday I actually make a point of making a bigger fuss and sending lovely gifts or attending the party's.

My dd's, sisters and nans bday is xmas eve. Sadly nan isn't with us anymore, but we ALWAYS make the effort to make sure they don't get swallowed up by christmas.

Dd is having a laser quest party the week before and on ger actual bday, we leave one room totally normal. No deccies. Party tea and present opening takes place in there.

Sorry OP, to ask a question again... do your sil and bil something for Christmas as well? (for your son) Or is what they get for your son in early December the only gift he gets, IYSWIM ???

dangermouse7

Last year was the first year they got him a Christmas present on Christmas day. The first year he didn't get anything, I wasn't bothered as he was only 3 weeks old, the second year they went out after Christmas and got him something as we had got gifts for their dc and on Xmas day it was rather embarrassing when they said they didn't get him anything.

Bet you'd go batshit if someone did it to you (or your kids) though.

If you read my previous posts you would see my dds bday is late December and mine is early Jan.* I have no problem with joint presents or presents wrapped in Xmas paper.* People need to be grateful and not expect or demand things.

Sorry to hear that.

If they do it this year, do the same to their kids. I know it's not nice, but why should your son have to be treated like this?

YANBU. Our DD's birthday is next week too, she will be 4. We have always kept it separate - tree not up until a week after Birthday to leave her cards out and balloons up etc, totally sepearate presents. We haven't had much of a problem with most people (we would never ask people what to buy/what to do but just seems to have worked out). One family member though each year has given her a Christmas themed gift - really bugs me! She doesn't seem to care though.

My birthday is between Christmas and new year 29th dec, it used to upset me if got christmas wrapping and christmas themed gift when younger so would never do it fpr family or friends with birthdays around Christmas

We have a bunch of family birthdays near Christmas and I'd be very annoyed on my kids behalf if someone did this. It must be crappy as a kid to have your birthday overshadowed by Christmas so the least people can do is find some non-Christmas wrapping paper and a non-Christmassy present.

@coragreta

If you read my previous posts you would see my dds bday is late December and mine is early Jan. I have no problem with joint presents or presents wrapped in Xmas paper. People need to be grateful and not expect or demand things.

As I have better things to do than trawl through peoples posting histories, I have not seen previous posts of yours, so I could not possibly have known this.

It's very poor form to not give all the info and then drip feed and add stuff to suit, and then have a go at someone who didn't respond to what you said X amount of weeks ago.

And so WHAT if you are OK with it, the OP isn't. She doesn't have to be just coz YOU are. And people don't NEED to be or do anything, just because you say so,

My birthday is a few days before Christmas and I'm a twin! It was a bit shite to be honest. Lots of joint presents, presents to share, Christmas paper etc.
Best one was a card with " happy birthday, Christmas and New Year A and B". That was a deliberate wind up from a friend though. We are still friends

Ds birthday is 13th dec and dps 18th dec.

Dp always got joint presents. On his 21st his parents arranged a party. On Christmas eve. For all their friends. He hates it.

Ds is 4 in 2 weeks. I will be wrapping his presents in birthday paper. As I will for my niece who is the 8th dec.

The only thing I do different to dd who has a summer birthday is not spend as much at this age as I would normally for birthday/christmas as I save some of his money for anything he might want over summer. 2 years ago he had a playhouse in june, last year a bike.

But that will probably change as he gets older and outgrows the plastic tat.

I have also been careful to ask what he would like for his birthday and what he would like for Christmas so he doesn't just have 1 long list.

I actually think an advent calendar is quite a good 1st December birthday present . Especially one with lots of gifts in - a generic chocolate one maybe less so.
I think with a lot of Christmassy gifts, Christmas itself is a bit too late, whereas you could have the whole of December to enjoy them. I think it's a good opportunity to give Christmassy books, jumpers etc for an actual proper occasion. As long as the Christmas present received on Christmas day had nothing to do with Christmas, or it might get a bit much!

My DC has a December birthday, I find I don't want to buy advent calendars at all, because then it is still more stuff, it seems it is an overwhelming amount of presents in a very short period and then nothing for a year. Christmas birthdays are rubbish.

I think the paper does send a message, and I agree it's important to separate birthday and Christmas - particularly for a child. If later they come to express not-caring, then you can change, but when they are young it is important.

It's very poor form to not give all the info and then drip feed and add stuff to suit, and then have a go at someone who didn't respond to what you said X amount of weeks* ago.

It was earlier in this thread. Posted today before the post you originally referred. I** wasn’t drip feeding anything to suit anyone.

And I just think many of the people on this thread sound ungrateful.* People should be more thankful for what they have/receive rather than whinging.*

Sorry for the bold mistake.

I personally don’t think it’s ungrateful for a parent to not want their child to be treated any differently to possibly their own siblings, other children and adults.

My birthday is on Christmas Day - i’ve never care what paper something was wrapped in (even as a child).

It's absolutely shit having a birthday near Christmas, everyone is wrapped up with Christmas things going on that it always seems the birthday is an afterthought.

I have insisted for years that my presents be wrapped in Birthday paper as I have been presented with Christmas paper all to often, it could be worse I suppose as I was due on Christmas Day but I had the sense to get out a few days before 😂

The best thing to do is to inform these two present-givers, who had the niceness to buy a gift for your child’s birthday, that they need not gift anything in the future. Problem and whinging solved.