To want his birthday not to be connected with Christmas?

[MrsBonato]

My dc is 4 on Monday. The very beginning of December. He was due on Christmas Eve and thankfully came early. I thought we wouldn't have Christmas things around his birthday.
Last year my bil and sil sent his birthday gifts wrapped in Christmas paper. I was ok with it and didn't make any comment until ds went to open them and said 'these are Christmas presents'. DH then had a bit of a moan to mil who I presume said to bil about it as we got a apology via text a little while after.

This year he has received a gift from a friend of the family, I had a sneak look at what it was, she clearly said it was for his birthday. It is a snowman Christmas ornament with chocolate coins and an advent calendar. My ds will again say that these are Christmas things.

I wouldn't be surprised if bil and sil repeat what they did last year either.

Am I being ungrateful? Is my dc being ungrateful in thinking he hasn't actually been given birthday gifts but just Christmas gifts?

And anyone else with a child who has a birthday even closer to Christmas, how do you deal with it?

It's a sign of the times that there's an issue at all with a 4th December birthday! I had a friend whose birthday was a Boxing Day and she had these issues, but anyone outside the immediate Christmas week would never have had a "link". I think it's fair enough to ask that it's entirely separate.

Dd's birthday is Christmas week & we have had issues with some family members giving one present to cover both occasions. I understand why, it is such an expensive time of year and a birthday on top can be a stretch. But it is really shot for the kid involved.

Non December birthday people have 2 things to look forward to in the year. To break it up a bit. But December birthdays have it all happen at the same time. It's hard!

ds went to open them and said 'these are Christmas presents'. DH then had a bit of a moan to mil who I presume said to bil about it as we got a apology via text a little while after

Are you serious? The acceptable response there was "child when someone is kind enough to send you gifts, you do not complain about the wrapping". To actually complain to someone else to force an apology out of the giver is inexcusably rude.

Unreal behaviour. Your kid is 4, but what is your excuse?

YANBU that is really crap and I would definitely nip it in the bud. My birthday is the 12th Dec and I've never once had a joint present, christmas wrapping paper or any of that.

Unreal behavior. I remember you from the other thread. You're the one that thinks it's normal to buy unborn babies actual Christmas presents.

Perhaps the child was just commenting. Having been given an obvious Christmas present, knowing it was his birthday he was just confused. Understandable, he's only little.

The christmas stuff for the birthday is different. A general present but in xmas wrapping, and you embarrass the giver into apologising? Appalling behaviour.

I think some people here were raised by wolves.

I have a just after Xmas child. It really annoys me that people seem to forget every year. Last year our entire families (both sides) didn't get presents and said after Xmas 'oh swirling, we've been so busy with Xmas, we haven't had time to think about birthdays and now there is no time to shop and get something in the post, will you just pop and get something?' I ended up spending the only free day off I had between Christmas and new year shopping (no easy task as stock of toys in most places was decimated) just so that my child didn't think they had been forgotten. Also ended up with presents that weren't that great as choice was so limited.

The other thing to remember is that children with Christmas birthdays wait an entire year to get new things so it is pretty galling if having waited a whole year, family and friends can't be bothered.

We have a few close family birthdays in December and early January. My dd's birthday is a few days before Christmas and she always has her cards on the mantle (Christmas cards go elsewhere) and presents wrapped in birthday paper. No one has ever got her joint Christmas/birthday presents or spent less for her Christmas or birthday present.

When she's older we may get her joint Christmas and birthday presents if it's an expensive present but it would be agreed with dd beforehand like we'd do for our other dcs and like my parents did with me.

We do put the Christmas decorations up before her birthday but she loves that the house is decorated for her birthday.

I wouldn't get massively hung up on the Christmas paper, there's a few times I've had to use tissue paper to wrap presents or buy a gift bag on the way to a party because I've forgotten to get birthday paper, but the Christmas themed gifts is a bit lazy for a December birthday. Fair enough if you've made a tradition of buying an advent calendar for a birthday present for your ds but it's a bit crap that someone else would wrap one as a birthday present for your ds. They wouldn't give and advent calendar to someone who's birthday is in June.

Agree with tiny sparkly. As I said my birthday is on Xmas day and my mother would have explained gratitude to me if I had complained about wrapping paper or the actual gift. (Or hit the roof if I was old enough to know better).

Of course it’s the sort of thing a 4 year old will say but you don’t encourage it!

I just wanted to point out what I said in my first post Last year my bil and sil sent his birthday gifts wrapped in Christmas paper. I was ok with it and didn't make any comment until ds went to open them and said 'these are Christmas presents'. DH then had a bit of a moan to mil

So, when they arrived and I saw they were wrapped in Christmas paper I was ok and didn't have any issue, I actually thought paper is paper it's fine. My dc was slightly confused, didn't complain, but stated they were Christmas presents, I guess I should have added at this point I did explain to him that the paper is just to wrap them in and they were for his birthday. It was actually my DH whose brother sent them, who complained to their mother, not me or the DC.
I have only questioned it now because he's received another gift from other people that are quite clearly Christmas related.
As I also mentioned I do have my own nephew who has a birthday closer to Christmas than my dc, I've never sent anything to do with Christmas for his birthday and he was around for 9 years before my son.

What I was unsure of is whether it's ok to give gifts that are seasonal to a child who has a birthday close to a season or holiday or if I was being unreasonable expecting what I've always done for my own nephew which was to not send anything relating to Christmas for his birthday.

One of mine has a birthday a week before Christmas and it’s never been a problem. I also have one who’s birthday is mid November. Both had their birthday and Xmas present combined by one relative last year but didn’t bother either of them. Both were older teens though, probably would have upset them had they been younger.

My youngest is a week before Christmas. The paper wouldn't bother us at all. I love it - our family has this special day in the run up to Christmas. My husband works shifts so this day gets earmarked early on in the year and we do something nice on it.

What does it matter if someone gives something seasonal? It is the season! Don't deny it - embrace it!!!

Seriously? You sound ungrateful and frankly quite petty. Who cares to sneak looks at a child's present like that?

A December birthday is not a problem. Teach your child to be gracious and happy about it!

Honestly some children receive no presents! To whine about the wrapping- my goodness!!!

I can't believe anyone is agreeing with you.

I get it OP, I was born on jan 1st and as a kid my parents always made a point of ensuring I didn’t get ‘joint’ parents, used bday wrapping paper rather than Xmas and even took the tree down early so I felt my birthday wasnt overshadowed. Family members still did all those things but i was so grateful to my parents for making that effort, and I’m sure your DS will be too.

My DD is much closer to Christmas than yours (less than 2 weeks before), we have always had definite birthday and Christmas presents and family have always done the same, no one has ever wrapped her birthday gifts in Christmas paper.

My DS birthday is on the 6th, mums on the 20th and a friend in 2nd jan. It's always been celebrated separately and with the appropriate wrapping paper. How is it difficult to find and buy birthday paper? The shops don't sell out of the stuff.
I've never known anyone whose birthday it is in dec to be given Christmas paper instead. Given at the same time maybe, but still wrapped separately.
I agree about the chocolate, most have Christmas themed wrapping on this time of year so I prepare and buy early.

DS's birthday is the 23rd. While he's small, I think it's really important to separate his birthday from Christmas - so yes, definitely separate presents (they don't need to be big or expensive, just thoughtful), and definitely birthday wrapping paper, and a card. He sees his older sister getting presents in the summer, and so i don't think it's fair for him to just get one set of presents per year. He's already had to wait 12 months between celebrations, and his gets bundled into Christmas weekend.

We are very careful to invite family to a Birthday party on his birthday, and I put birthday decorations up and avoid Christmassy party food, even though it's bloody everywhere.

When he gets older he might decide he wants to have joint presents to get something bigger, but while he's little I think it's important to show that he gets two celebrations, and one of them is just for him - just like the rest of us have in the rest of the year.

What I was unsure of is whether it's ok to give gifts that are seasonal to a child who has a birthday close to a season or holiday or if I was being unreasonable expecting what I've always done for my own nephew which was to not send anything relating to Christmas for his birthday

It’s okay to give any gift the giver wants to give. It’s correct to thank someone for whatever gift they have given. Any other response is wrong.

(Christmas Day birthday with kids with early jan birthdays).

Hmm I think it's a bit ungrateful tbh and you're possibly making it seem more of an issue to your child. A gift is a gift. One of my dc has a near Christmas birthday and if he noticed his present was in Christmas paper and thought it was a Christmas present I'd just tell them it was for their birthday but X has used Christmas paper. Unlikely that a child will care too much about the paper they're ripping off if you don't. And most kids enjoy chocolate regardless of the theme.

What does it matter what paper it’s wrapped in or if it’s ‘Christmas’ themed. It’s the thought that counts

That's exactly OP's point. It's the thought that counts, and to wrap a child's birthday gift in Christmas paper because it's December so you happen to have some lying around is thoughtless.

If the child had a birthday in July and you had no birthday wrapping paper in the house you wouldn't think 'sod it, I've got some leftover christmas paper in the cupboard I'll just dig that out'.

This thread reminds me why I only ever buy plain wrapping paper

Maybe just encourage. your ds to return unsatisfactory gifts to the sender. That should sort the problem out quite quickly.

I have a July birthday and I have often got joint Christmas and birthday presents if I wanted something expensive (both as a child and as an adult). Also, wrapping paper is wrapping paper. Who cares what is on it. I think some posters here have unrealistically high expectations of what other people are going to do for them.

Oh. And another friend has B/G twins that were born on Boxing Day. They have JOINT xmas/birthday presents!

A games console that was for both of them for birthday and xmas. That's harsh. Yes, it's and expensive present but get them something each that is cheaper.

Yorkshapudding

I'd rather have a wrapped present than in an Argos carrier bag, even if it was in news paper.