To want his birthday not to be connected with Christmas?

[MrsBonato]

My dc is 4 on Monday. The very beginning of December. He was due on Christmas Eve and thankfully came early. I thought we wouldn't have Christmas things around his birthday.
Last year my bil and sil sent his birthday gifts wrapped in Christmas paper. I was ok with it and didn't make any comment until ds went to open them and said 'these are Christmas presents'. DH then had a bit of a moan to mil who I presume said to bil about it as we got a apology via text a little while after.

This year he has received a gift from a friend of the family, I had a sneak look at what it was, she clearly said it was for his birthday. It is a snowman Christmas ornament with chocolate coins and an advent calendar. My ds will again say that these are Christmas things.

I wouldn't be surprised if bil and sil repeat what they did last year either.

Am I being ungrateful? Is my dc being ungrateful in thinking he hasn't actually been given birthday gifts but just Christmas gifts?

And anyone else with a child who has a birthday even closer to Christmas, how do you deal with it?

coragreta When she's had 40 years of it it might wear a bit thin.

My birthday is 14th! When I was little my Mum would wait until after my birthday to put the tree up

I regularly got joint Christmas & Birthday cards. That's just mean.

It doesn't bother me so much now, although if I want to go out for a meal around my birthday all 'happy hours' are cancelled and you mostly get offered a Christmas Dinner.

When I turned 40 a few years ago, I had to book venue a year in advance to get a Saturday near Christmas and send invites out crazy early because everything gets booked up.

I digress though OP..... YANBU!
When you get older it doesn't matter, but family should make an effort to keep it separate for young kids!

GreenTulips

My birthday has fallen many times on Easter Sunday I don't want Easter eggs for presents or them wrapped up in paper with bunnies and chickens on, I get you!

My best friends daughters Birthday is Christmas day I always make sure I get her a separate gift and that it's wrapped on Birthday paper. It would really annoy me if someone gave my child Christmas themed presents just because their birthday is in December.
An old colleague was born on boxing day and always said if her child had been born around Christmas she would give them an official Birthday in June because growing up her aunts would give her a Christmas present and say they had spent more on it than other niece and nephew and it was for her birthday as well, but they never spent more they were just too lazy and tight to buy her a separate gift.

Our son has his birthday on 19th December and, right from the start, we informed all family members that separate presents were required. Now he is 26 and occasionally he does have a joint present if it is something expensive, or a cheque towards something that he is saving up for, but always with the proviso that there is something else to 'open' on the other occasion.

It does seem mean to deprive a child of some of their birthday feeling by turning it into an "almost Christmas" simply because its convenient for the giver to do so. Its not as if the child has any way of moving it to a more distinct "Its my Birthday, not Christmas" time.

It doesnt seem that hard for people to keep some non-Christmas wrapping paper in the house.

DS's birthday is just after Christmas and we and the rest of the family have always bought separate presents. This year he is having a joint birthday/christmas present from us- a jacket which he asked for. Well he will be 27 so l think it's allowed

Im 22nd Dec. Be grateful your son is early Dec. The closer it gets, the shitter it gets and it doesn't get much better with age.

Set up your stall that he gets two sets of gifts. There are 21 days between the two dates. No-one would do that with someone else. "Oh I know but Christmas is 4 months away so this is your gift for both"

But ultimately, you just have to accept it. You can't change what others do. Only control what you do. I never received joint presents from my parents. Some years perhaps a larger and smaller gift if I had asked for something costly like a digital camera.

Chin up buttercup.

I’m 30 with a birthday at the beginning of December and whilst I never expect presents, I’m always miffed if I get a ‘joint present’ or a birthday present that has something to do with Christmas. It’s just thoughtless and lazy.

And I know how hard it is to source two presents. My Dads birthday is also at the beginning of December and I dread having to think up 2 things for him.

For my 30th I moved my birthday to August. It worked much better, especially as no one is available to celebrate with you around Xmas. Definitely something to consider for the big ones!

DH is a twin and their birthday is very close to Christmas. He recalls a few occasions when they were children of people (relatives) who would give them a single gift for 'them to share' which was supposed to be for both their birthday and Christmas! That really takes stinginess to a new level...

It's not thoughtful in the slightest it's lazy - why would a Halloween birthday mean they want Halloween stuff?

I get dressing up clothes for other kids birthdays at various times of the year as well. Why is it lazy to choose something that a child would like when it's in the shops?

Fwiw I've also wrapped presents in Xmas paper in the summer when I've forgotten paper.

My DC celebrates their birthday 6 months late. That solves all problems.

The three of us were born within three days of Christmas. Joint birthday parties, joint birthday/Christmas presents, been there, done it etc.
It's crap.

My dd's birthday is Christmas Day. We celebrate her birthday on Christmas Eve so she still has her own day. Family also make sure her birthday presents are separate to Christmas presents . It's mean to lump both events together for children.

My birthday is mid December. DD's is even worse as it's Boxing Day. One of her best friends is Christmas Eve. It all just rolls into one for them, party on Christmas Eve for Christmas and friends birthday, outing on Boxing Day for Boxing day and DD's birthday. my birthday is largely ignored or I do something Christmassy but nice for it as you might just as well embrace it-you can't win if you try and fight against it.no one is ever free for a night out for mine as they are always on the Work Christmas party or whatever.

My friend's daughter has a Christmas Eve birthday.

People get her 2 presents, wrap them in xmas paper and she gets to choose which one she wants to open as a birthday present in the morning.

Friend has always said please dont get anything xmas related for either present - no xmas pj's etc. Gift givers know of the gift choosing idea and it is kind of helpful for them. I have, i.e, bought 2 similar things that she wanted before so she ended up completing a set of something. One year she got a telescope and a chart / book about stars. One without the other would not have made such a good present but she wanted both and it worked out in my price range.

Works alright. (I have a December BDay. It's shitter when you're older)

Mine's around the corner. Never mind the wrapping paper, I had a childhood of 'combined but bigger' presents from everyone except maybe my grandparents and parents - don't think they were actually bigger than any of the standalone Christmas or birthday ones my sister got twice a year.

Then as a teen/adult I realised I could just as well give up on trying to do birthday parties/dinners/drinks. As soon as everyone had a job everyone or their DP was sure to have the mandatory office do on the same date.

YANBU as such, OP, but it's not a fight you're likely to win. I suggest giving up now rather than get upset each year.

Northamplandlass SNAP have the same date as birthday I never do anything christmaseee till after my birthday even as 50+ year old . My ex hated that he could not put up the tree till after my birthday.

2 dc have december birthdays - 14th and 15th. DC3 was due on 1st, but thankfully arrived 10 days early. I entirely blame the Easter bunny.

I would buy some cheap birthday wrapping paper and re-wrap anything that arrives in Christmas paper. Id also create a wish list on Pinterest of things your child might like for his birthday and things he might like for Christmas. ANd have a word with SIL, or indeed BIL - ask them to keep gifts strictly birthday.

We have always ensured that birthday and christmas are entirely separate. We do not allow decorations or putting up cards until the 16th - so much so that we now have a dedicated "CHristmas tree day" which is the sunday after the last birthday, when we decorate the house and sing carols (and drink too much) - this year on 17th. Its actually my favourite day of the season, because all the decorations the kids have chosen at different points in their lives come out and because we leave it so late, it feels very Christmassy and exciting.

Hey at least he gets presents! MY DS will be three on January 25 and last year neither my father in law or middle brother in law bothered to send him so much as a birthday card!

That is mean. My hubby is Mid Dec, my cousin Xmas Eve and my MIL Boxing Day. We all carefully buy and wrap in birthday paper, with birthday cards. We do put Xmas decorations up on hubbies birthday but that was apparently a family tradition when he was a kid and we do it in the evening after his birthday day is done.

Mine is mid-December and never had an issue until last year when my
DSIS have me a joint birthday/Christmas present and wrote happy birthday in a Christmas card. In July I sent her a Christmas card for her birthday and said she would get a joint present at Christmas. The point was made and I handed over a birthday card and present.

I have a sneaky feeling I will get separate cards this year.

Mine is mid January and my birthday presents were always joint Christmas/ birthday gifts. I still feel that most people don’t care about my birthday, despite the fact that friends and my DC never forget it.

I had a friend who’s birthday was Boxing Day. Her mum always did a big party, all the extended family, huge buffet etc, the works. They had sandwiches for lunch on Christmas Day.

I would start playing down Christmas and make a huge fuss about your DS’s birthday. If people claim they can’t buy non Christmas type wrapping tell them most shops still have non Christmas paper, you just have a little look.

I think it’s really grabby and rude to ‘inform relatives two presents are required’. Be grateful that you or your dcs are getting presents at all.