To want his birthday not to be connected with Christmas?

[MrsBonato]

My dc is 4 on Monday. The very beginning of December. He was due on Christmas Eve and thankfully came early. I thought we wouldn't have Christmas things around his birthday.
Last year my bil and sil sent his birthday gifts wrapped in Christmas paper. I was ok with it and didn't make any comment until ds went to open them and said 'these are Christmas presents'. DH then had a bit of a moan to mil who I presume said to bil about it as we got a apology via text a little while after.

This year he has received a gift from a friend of the family, I had a sneak look at what it was, she clearly said it was for his birthday. It is a snowman Christmas ornament with chocolate coins and an advent calendar. My ds will again say that these are Christmas things.

I wouldn't be surprised if bil and sil repeat what they did last year either.

Am I being ungrateful? Is my dc being ungrateful in thinking he hasn't actually been given birthday gifts but just Christmas gifts?

And anyone else with a child who has a birthday even closer to Christmas, how do you deal with it?

I cannot understand why anyone would wrap a present in Christmas paper now days.
Years ago wrap was expensive and you had to search it out.
Now its cheap and sold everywhere and there are very few who remember the war so vividly that they still insist on Make do and Mend.
That attitude was very common in my childhood and older people would rather die than waste paper, string etc.

A birthday is birthday and Christmas is Christmas.

I know people with birthdays 25/26/28 and 30 December.
I’ve NEVER used xmas paper or bought xmas gifts.
In fact the one on 26th the family traditionally come to us xmas eve (my best friend and her DD birthday).
I do her birthday and make it her birthday before our kids are even allowed to think about and talk about the xmas gifts and start the xmas eve celebrations.

My birthday is in OCTOBER and once as a child I received a a box of Xmas decorations from my grandparents. As an adult, my own mother once bought me a reusable Advent calendar, which I need to fill soon actually. Not cool guys, not cool.

Your kid just wants to be treated like other kids (i.e. to have a birthday AND a Xmas, not two-in-one), it's natural and not unreasonable at all. I would re-wrap all his birthday presents in x-massy paper before he sees them, if possible

My db is a Xmas baby and my dm would wrap all his presents up in xmas paper then decide the day before which one he was getting for what. He does moan about the Xmas wrapping paper.

My bday is summer and my dm wraps my bday presents in xmas paper and it's never fussed me

However from having a db with a Xmas bday I have seen the joint presents and the excuses of having no money because of Xmas.

My birthday is in November. Sometimes things come in Christmas wrapping but so what. This year I even had a Christmas Card sent as a birthday card!!! (OK it was as a joke, but still)
I'm sorry but fussing over the type of wrapping paper is a bit silly (Yes I know I'm an adult and children are different but I think you need to get across that paper is paper and he really shouldn't worry about that).

But of course the present inside is a different matter and yes, I would hope most people would avoid anything too Christmasy. Without knowing what was in last year's present it's hard to judge but hopefully they took last year's comments to MiL on board.

It's my DN's birthday today (and the same age!). When buying his present I did spot something I thought he'd love but it was a bit Christmassy so bought it anyway and put it aside for Christmas. I hadn't even thought it would be okay to send a Christmassy present.

I can kind of understand the advent calendar as it will be at the start of advent but then you should only have one person buying you one of those.

I'll be 28 this year, a couple of days after Christmas and I haven't cared about my birthday since I was in my early teens, because it was always forgotten about in the Christmas/New Year (in Scotland so Hogmanay a big deal) madness.

Take from that what you will about keeping December birthdays separate from Christmas.

I actually know a woman who has a Christmas Day birthday, and her family worked it so that they open some Christmas presents on Christmas Eve and then the morning is purely for her birthday.

Start as you mean to go on. My DC birthday is VERY close to Christmas. We have always been very clear they are two separate events and after some early teething issues, everyone treats them as such.

The very worst thing I saw though in a card shop was a card that said 'to our daughter on her birthday at Christmas'.

So your DS, on his third birthday, was whinging about a birthday gift being wrapped in Christmas paper?? Did he show any appreciation for then gifts at all ???

If he’s going to whinge about presents again this year, send the gifts straight to a charity.

I’m not entirely sure what BIL has done that’s so wrong. Last year he bought your DS a gift but ‘messed’ up and wrapped it in Christmas paper. He was asked by a third party not to do it again and until Monday you don’t know if he has. I hardly think it makes him lazy or uncaring just prehaps a bit naive. If he’s a brilliant uncle in every other way I’d probably just laugh it off to my DC. He’s born in December so am I he’s going to have to get used to it.

DD's birthday is late November and she loves having an advent calendar as one of her presents.

No point in having an advent calendar as a Christmas present.

Whinging? I think that's a bit harsh. He's a kid and you can see from this thread the majority dislike the Christmas/birthday rolled into one.

Nope, YANBU. It's thoughtless of people not to think about this. My family has a lot of people with birthdays around Christmas time and it's important for them, especially when they are little and likely to take things much more literally, to have their own special day. Even with my father we all went to pains (though I doubt if he'd have minded if we hadn't). It's about thinking about the person, not whether the giver has ticked the present box on their to do list.

Where did the OP say he whinged? A just-turned 3 year old asked if they were Christmas presents. I could see that happening, having an almost 3 year old myself.

Who gives advent calendars as Christmas presents? Late November birthdays are far less likely to be absorbed in the Christmas hoo-ha as those in December, particularly the further you get into the month.

DS’s birthday is the 23rd, and I’m afraid that, for the most part, you just have to put up with it.

Close friends and family always make a distinction between the two, I don’t think you can expect everyone else to bother. I have to remember to buy DS’s birthday card in the summer, because you can never get good ones in December, as all the shops are full of Christmas. It’s the same for wrapping paper too.

Having experienced it myself (xmas cards doubling as bday cards, xmas wrapping, joint presents, long wait all year)... when DC was born around Christmas we invented the half-birthday. A few relatives still give bday presents on the actual day, but our present to her, and her party (so most presents) come 6 months later. She's very happy with the arrangement.

That’s really inconsiderate of them, my birthday is a couple of days before Xmas and no one has ever given me one present for both or given me xmas shit.

I have a friend whose birthday is the same date as your sons and none of us associate her birthday with Xmas. Why would we.

They are simoly being lazy and inconsiderate and I’d say to them could you make sure birthday gifts are not Xmas related.

It's lazy and rude and disrespectful. Maybe give their kids an advent calendar wrapped in Christmas wrapping paper. So what if their birthdays are in March, June, or August, if it's good enough for them to do it to your son, it's good enough for you to do to their kids. Or them.

My birthday is just after christmas and new year, I get unwanted gifts if anyone even remembers.

My birthday is just a few days before Christmas, this has been my life, it sucks.

My dd has an early December birthday. I would be grateful for all gifts she got although might wince internally if they were Christmassy. If dd gets anything Christmas themed, I will teach her to gracefully accept.

However we don’t put the tree up etc until her birthday has gone so it’s clear that it’s her birthday first. We don’t give joint gifts etc.

So, we treat her birthday as we think best but don’t expect others to. That’s their prerogative even if it’s rude.

Sorry, that was in response to

DillyDilly
So your DS, on his third birthday, was whinging about a birthday gift being wrapped in Christmas paper?? Did he show any appreciation for then gifts at all ???

If he’s going to whinge about presents again this year, send the gifts straight to a charity.

Ds2 will be 12 on Xmas Eve. I have been really clear all his life that he gets both birthday and Xmas gifts. Nothing xmassy for birthday etc.

On recent years he has asked to have a joint Xmas and birthday present to get something more expensive (like an experience) but that has been his choice.

I think people need to think about how they want to be treated, how would they feel if their birthday was passed over like that?

@coragreta

I think it’s really grabby and rude to ‘inform relatives two presents are required’. Be grateful that you or your dcs are getting presents at all.

You are obviously someone who gives joint birthday and Christmas gifts, for anyone whose birthday is between mid November and mid January.

Bet you'd go batshit if someone did it to you (or your kids) though.

As I said, it's rude and disrespectful and lazy. The OP needs to do the same to her relatives, (and their kids,) no matter when their birthdays are...