To think some women are smug about not having dessert?

[Tobythecat]

It seems to be mainly the older women, but I've noticed that a few of the social groups that I go to (there are a lot of older women there) seem horrified when asked to pick their three course lunch for Christmas at a local restaurant. They are fine with starters, but a lot of them say things like "I couldn't eat dessert as well, it would be too much for me" in a really judgy tone. The best one was from one of the women who is about 20 stone saying she couldn't eat a two or three course meal

I don't know if it's because women are supposed to be seen as dainty and ladylike and not have big appetites, but it just comes across as so smug.

AIBU to think that some women are really smug about the whole cake/dessert thing?

Competitive undereating!

I don’t really like sweet stuff, so don’t eat a lot of cake/dessert/chocolate. I can eat my own weight in crisps/savoury stuff though

I never have pudding when we eat out. I’m more of a grazer so 3 courses is too much for me, and I prefer a starter

It’s not being smug, I’m not being ‘good’, I just don’t want it. Especially with set menus for stuff like Christmas parties. There’s rarely cheese and biscuits on a set menu, and I don’t even like ice cream very much

Not fond of sweet but love a good cheese selection 🧀🧀

Oh I certainly get what you mean op. I have a group of friends I regularly go out for meals with and there are a 2 or 3 who will only have dessert if everyone is. There is definitely something weird about it.

I cannot eat a dessert with alcohol. If I am drinking I do not eat dessert........I however choose cheese

I skip the starter and make sure I save room for dessert!

Nice bit of fat shaming there OP. Hope you're proud of yourself 👏👏

I have a group of friends I regularly go out for meals with and there are a 2 or 3 who will only have dessert if everyone is.

Isn't that a bill sharing issue?

I may not have dessert if nobody else is because I don't want to pass on the cost. And they may not want to pay for someone else's dessert and not have one.

Or maybe they feel less guilty if it's a shared guilt, of sorts.

I get you op. I take great pleasure in ordering pudding I love pudding and eating out a treat. The mournful faces and regretful comments when my treacle tart arrives are a price worth paying!

Your fat comment was uncalled for but I get where your coming from ‘oh I couldn’t possibly eat another thing but don’t let that stop you if you really want one’

Sometimes i have a starter and main and sometimes a pudding or main...depends which looks the nicest

I am another who is overweight but can't manage big three course meals

I always get comments saying "How do you manage to eat so much pizza/cake and stay so slim? Look at that mountain of food! Where do you put it?"

How is this any more acceptable than saying

"How do you manage to only eat a salad for lunch and stay so fat?"

It's horrible to be the only person having pudding. I once went out with my then boyfriend to a nice restaurant that does fab puddings. I told him to leave enough room for pudding. He wolfed his main dish and wouldn't even have a light dessert but watched me eat mine. Ruined the meal for me.

I am a salad fiend and I often get "Are you going to eat ALL that?" or "I couldn't eat ALL THAT" and worse when it has barely any calories. It makes me feel like a greedy pig.

mike

I once went to a restaurant with two friends

They both wanted dessert and no starter, I wanted a starter and no dessert

So i had my starter as dessert

The owner of the restaurant was very impressed with me

I don’t really like sweet stuff, so don’t eat a lot of cake/dessert/chocolate. I can eat my own weight in crisps/savoury stuff though
Same
I never have pudding when we eat out. I’m more of a grazer so 3 courses is too much for me, and I prefer a starter
I think you should be able to have a 2nd starter instead of pudding. Like a micro savoury afters.

It’s not being smug, I’m not being ‘good’, I just don’t want it. Especially with set menus for stuff like Christmas parties.
There’s rarely cheese and biscuits on a set menu, and I don’t even like ice cream very much
This so much!
I'm not a sweets person and on Christmas or set menus it's almost always some rich chocolately thing or toffee/caramel based puddings or ice cream.
A cheese board would be so much better

Gawd you’d hate me. I never have pudding and usually have green tea instead. And no, it’s nothing to do with dieting. I just have never been fond of puddings.

that's great! A real solution.

Being one of those 'older women' I've found over the years that my appetite has decreased along with my sweet tooth.

If the main meal is substantial then I'd struggle to eat that along with a starter so dessert is out of the question. Not smug, just know my limitations when it comes to food. Mind you, if it was that nouvelle cuisine bollocks then I'd eat 3 courses and stop for a kebab on the way home.

It pisses me off when people try and encourage me to order food that I don't want. Comments such as "Oh come on, order dessert - I'll look greedy if I'm the only one eating it" for example. I sit there thinking 'just fuck off and order whatever you want mate, leave me to do the same'.

Dessert wankers.

I never have a starter because I know if I do I'll be struggling with the main course. A solution is for two people to share a starter and maybe a pud.

And not just not order a pud and beg a bit of their companion's then eat most of it.

Why are people 'struggling to finish' plates of food? If you're bored with it, stop and move on to the next course.

I don't get that attitude

I never have dessert because I’m not into sweet stuff. Would rather have some more alcohol hic!

It might be delicious but you have no room for it. Why would I leave a half-eaten main to eat a pudding I would enjoy less?

@MaisyPops - I think you should be able to have a 2nd starter instead of pudding. Like a micro savoury afters.

There's nothing to stop you doing that. My ds had sushi for starter and dessert when we ate out recently. The waitress looked a bit but still served it.