To wonder why people assume posters are men when

[poolCam]

they don't like what they post.

There was a thread yesterday where a poster criticised the readability of another. Admittedly, the former was being goady but I do wonder why they immediately became a man in the eyes of others on the thread.

Does it show that there is in fact deep-seated sexism in both sexes?

Does it show that there is in fact deep-seated sexism in both sexes?

Sorry. Pardon. This place gets trolled by MRA’s periodically. I don’t see posters, whom I assume to be women, acting in the same way on here against men.

To suggest there’s deep seated sexism in women vs men on this site is to negate the century old struggles women have been through to even get some kind of equality in today’s society and to deny that men still have the societal upper hand. MRA’s in fact do just that.

I read somewhere on line that women as a group have been the most subjugated subsection of society for centuries. I was surprised as I thought that would be black people. I can only assume that it is the longevity of subjugation and remember that women too were until recent times often slaves to their husbands and could be habitually abused, raped and murdered with no recourse. And still are in other countries.

OP - you're not assumed to be a man because you don't agree with "everyone else". Read that back, you must see it's an odd and baseless viewpoint. There isn't anybody here that is always agreed with, is there. But I think you just want a fight re whatever's rattled your cage so you'll get on with that anyway until the thread fizzles out

MistressDeeCee

Interesting reply.

As I said, I posted as I wanted to understand and I'm certainly getting clarity!

I posted as I wanted to understand

Really? Really, really? Because you seem to think MN is a place of deep-seated antipathy towards men. So I think you posted to either be goady, or to confirm your bias. Not to 'understand'.

"Nest of vipers" is the famous phrase.

I think that the SEN board in particular is fantastic but yes, I see AIBU as separate from any reality I've experienced but that doesn't mean I don't want to understand.

AIBU seems to hold men and other women in equal contempt. The misogyny is usually nastier but simpler and easier to see. The misandry is much more passive aggressive and a little more complex.

I think your replies, whilst being completely off-topic and not answering my genuine question, have shown how hostile AIBU is. Calling people men or goady just seems to be a way of shutting down others.

I'm a lesbian and when I've posted about my girlfriend in the past I've been assumed to be a man and treated very poorly.
When I've explained that I'm in fact a gay woman people have suddenly become much more welcoming.
That's the honest truth of my experiences here.

There's the whole rest of the internet. Full of kittens, puppies and a decided pack of feminists. I mean there's also rampant misogyny including some pretty foul stuff.

Do you also tell the incels and MRAs off for their sexism?

I post on aibu. A lot. Yes, there are some posters, who are very angry and spoiling for a fight. But not all or anywhere near the majority. A select few. I definitely am not spoiling for a fight. I also think you’re being pretty hostile now. Perhaps you don’t mean to be. However, the language you have employed isn’t conducive to meaningful debate. Look how upset some of the posters are getting in reaction to your posts.

I don't know what typo 'incels' was and think the theories about swarms of MRAs plotting to infiltrate a parenting website fairly pathetic but yes, I call sexism whenever I see it. I reported 2 posts yesterday for anti-female sexism (both deleted).

I've been accused of being an MRA in the past.

Which has left me deeply sceptical about claims that there is deliberate MRA trolling.

Mummyoflittledragon

Who is upset and where have I been hostile? I've been called goady and disingenuous but didn't bite.

I hate the way if you disagree with a poster you are accused of being a man or a 'handmaiden'. I do dislike the unofficial police who patrol this site on the lookout for anyone who doesn't follow the party line.

Some posters name call a lot. I imagine they are pretty overbearing in real life too.

OP-I have no idea whether you are a man or a woman, but just as an example "As I said, I posted as I wanted to understand and I'm certainly getting clarity!" is just the sort of sentence that might lead me to suspect, particularly on a thread about anything femininisty, that a poster might be a man, and not a particularly well intentioned one.

It's a wide eyed disingenuous "But I just want to understand!! Why won't anyone explain!!!!!!! followed by a passive aggressive quip indicating that the poster's preconceptions have been confirmed that suggests male fingers on the keypad!

Two other points. Claiming you want to understand then not being prepared to even glance at some research that goes some way to answering your question is a bit daft. And you may not think that MRA campaigners target this site, but they most definitely have and do- and discuss it on Reddit before and after. Deeply pathetic of them, of course, but what can you expect, really?

Pratchett Who knew italics could be passive aggressive!

The research has nothing to do with it. I do not doubt there are differences in the way men and women communicate. My point is that male pronouns are used as an insult or to cast aspersions about a poster. Either passive aggressively as you have just done or a little more directly.

I do love the irony of you accusing me of being a man. At the expense of other opinions (PSNah especially) you plough on with whatever agenda you have.

Yes mrsmuddlepies. Very overbearing.

male posters do use certain words more: nuance, shades of grey, complexity, subtlety

I've seen those words used most on the feminism board to imply that someone doesn't understand something when they disagree with one of the head feminists.

My point is that male pronouns are used as an insult or to cast aspersions about a poster.

Could you link to some concrete examples?

I'm not aware of this.

"I do love the irony of you accusing me of being a man"

I'm not accusing you of being a man. You asked how posters might begin to think that another poster might be a man, and I tried to explain. You seem very unwilling to actually address other people's points.

And the irony was not lost on me. Glad you got it too!