My DP said he wouldn’t have another baby with me if I was to formula feed.

[Missy450]

We were talking about having a second child last night and I casually said I think I would formula feed (I have ebf my first).
He replied he wouldn’t want another one if I was going to formula feed. This then turned into a big argument which when we got to the bottom of it, what he really meant was he wouldn’t want another baby if even before I’ve got pregnant, I had decided to formula feed I.e. not wanting the best for our baby without even trying.

I would like to bf again and I would try to, but I can see it being so much harder when you’ve got a toddler as well.

He would be supportive if I gave it a go but had a good reason to stop. He’s a nutritionist and has studied in detail how good breastmilk is so I guess it’s important to him.

But, he’s basically saying, the babies life isn’t worth as much if he/she is formula fed, right?? AIBU?

I wouldn't be having a baby with a "nutritionist". Because I don't care for snake oil salesmen.

He's may be a nutritionist but he's also an arsehole and a control freak

It's interesting how much interest strangers take in how other women feed their babies. Breastfeeding is the ideal option in general but for some mums it isn't the ideal option for them. So What? We aren't raising a gang of sickly delinquents because they haven't been breastfed as babies. There are very real advantages to Breastfeeding but there is a limit to them.

I’ve reread the OP and it doesn’t seem that the husband is being that hard line about it. To be honest if you combo feed and half ass the BF your milk supply will start to dry up anyway. I’m sure “I don’t have any more milk” is a good enough reason to stop. This seems like a very silly argument given you’re not even pregnant. Both of you will feel stupid that you even had it tomorrow.

People saying OP should leave her husband must have the world’s most perfect marriages

@BertrandRussell

Nutrition is snake oil?

No. nutritionists are snake oil salesmen. A nutritionist does not need to have any qualifications or registration, and they usually have stuff to sell or books to push.

What about the nutritionists a GP would refer you to for help with weight loss or lowering cholesterol, for example?

It isn't a legally protected title but you're making yourself look foolish.

They are qualified dieticians. Not self acclaimed nutritionists.

"It isn't a legally protected title but you're making yourself look foolish."

I think not.

"What about the nutritionists a GP would refer you to for help with weight loss or lowering cholesterol, for example?"

Those are dieticians. Who are qualified.

@BertrandRussell

"I don't think"

FTFY

What about the nutritionists a GP would refer you to for help with weight loss or lowering cholesterol, for example?

That would be a dietician. That is a protected title and you need Actual Training and registration with the relevant body to do it. A dietician is trained, certified and registered.

Anyone can call themselves a nutritionist, set up doing crap like hair testing for allergies and make a mint pushing dodgy and potentially dangerous advice on people.

m.youtube.com/watch?v=SavsJYXWgm8

Surely this isnt about feeding though its actually him saying if you are already thinking of compromising what you believed in when you had your first child to enable you to think about having a second then perhaps its better to not have the second in the first place - which is probably a manifestation of both of your fears as to how a second will fit in around you and the toddler.

FWIW I found it far easier to breastfeed the second time around I became adept at doing it alongside entertaining and playing with the toddler simply because there was no prep involved. I was also a master at feeding in a sling.

Tell him to grow a pair of tits then he can find the child.

A fed baby is a happy baby and after not all woman are able to breastfeed for whatever reasons and this is why women (myself included) feel such pressure and huge failures when it doesn't happen.

Yes breast is best for those that can if you can't then formula is the way to go as long as baby is fed.

What an utter twat!! When will people realise there's more to raising children than how they are fed in the first few months!
He is probably more worried that if the baby is bottle fed he can help more with the night feeds.

I do believe breast is best..and women should do it at least for the esrly days snd weeks even if they then dont want to continue. BUT this guy is being ridiculous.

Saying he would rather not have a child than have a formula fed baby is illogical and ludicrous.

I love how the BF champions keep going on about how easy it was for them, when so, so many women find it hard.

IIRC, around 5% of women can't produce milk in the first place, babies can't latch, or have tongue tie, etc, etc. But I see the breast is best agenda getting pushed so much that those women who find it hard and impossible to do feel massively guilty when they can't.

Does anyone remember a few years ago, when a new mother committed suicide in America because she couldn't bf? I believe it was at the 12 week point. She had people around her urging her not to give up, when for her mental health it would have been the best thing to do. That's the kind of guilt I mean and the reason I hate seeing people getting too invested in how another mother chooses to feed her baby. And I bf'd both of mine.

OP, your DH needs to improve his research. He needs to really looks at all the issues surrounding bf, as the milk itself is only a tiny part of the whole bf thing.

And OP can not dictate to him that he will have a child

@Pengggwn

So, he has to have sex with the OP when she demands because he's already a father?

He's being a twat for not having sex?

And OP can not dictate to him that he will have a child

You must have said that a hundred times in this thread.

The op doesn't appear to be insisting he gives her sperm. Just is a bit upset that he is with holding the option to have another baby based on how she is considering feeding.