'Saving' seats before they have food. WIBU

[mummymummums]

Me, DH, DD10 and DS9 all visited a Xmas market today. Lots of stalls, and a food area with various options. No actual seating provided but various benches dotted around and in rows. Queued for 15-20 mins, got food, and headed off to try to sit down - we all had a meal plus hot drink. I went and sat on an empty bench, but as the DC approached they were told 'I'm saving that for someone' by a woman on the end seat of the next bench. They diverted to the other side of me, to be told the same by a woman further up the next bench. I was and told them to sit down.
The woman started moaning that she was saving the seats for her friend who was getting her food. I pointed out that we had food there and then, and nowhere to sit.
She carried on getting indignant so I said she couldn't seriously think it was ok to deny people a seat on a public bench in favour of a friend who was nowhere to be seen and was still queuing for food. I pointed out I could have come and saved seats while DH queued, but that was unfair to people who had food. She then said "what the actual f^*•', right next to DD10 who had the seat nearest her, at which point I lost my shit. That shut her up.
We had finished eating by the time her friend appeared with the food 15 mins later, so I'm glad we didn't stand all the while the friend was queuing!
WIBU? Is it really ok to save public benches where other people have food, when you have no food???

Oops posted too soon

Agree with the minority that I wouldn't get good without knowing I had somewhere to sit, in your situation I would have got your dh and one kid to go and find seats whilst you and the other ordered food.

They WBU. Unless it's table service you order your food first and then find a seat

I must live on a different planet! It’s extremely common in places where you order food at the bar to ask for you the table number. And bagsying tables is the norm across everywhere I’ve been to in England... you don’t tend to see the whole family queue up.

And bagsying tables is the norm across everywhere I’ve been to in England...

That’s because there are so many entitled cunts around.

"Unless it's table service you order your food first and then find a seat

I must live on a different planet! It’s extremely common in places where you order food at the bar to ask for you the table number. And bagsying tables is the norm across everywhere I’ve been to in England... you don’t tend to see the whole family queue up."

Exactly. I'm not buying food unless I know I have a table. What would I do if there are no tables left when I've bought my food?

"That’s because there are so many entitled cunts around."

How is it entitled? I can't eat unless I have a table and chair so I need to reserve it before I go and queue for my food.

But what if you're on your own, you can't really save a table then and stand in the queue for food at the same time, can you. It's so annoying when you're on your own in the queue and you see couples/groups come in after you and save a table.

Bars are different. They also have a lot more tables. In places like busy little cafés where you need a free flow of people to ensure sufficient tables, you need to literally go with that flow, otherwise people who have paid for food won't have anywhere to sit and eat it. There's a place near me where they actually have signs up asking people not to take up table space until they've got their food, but still you get these daft bastards sitting at otherwise empty tables taking up space while others with trays full of food can't sit down. It's just stupid.

How is it entitled? I can't eat unless I have a table and chair so I need to reserve it before I go and queue for my food.

What about lone people?

What about people with young children who can’t leave them on their own?

What do they when they’ve got their food and can’t sit down?

Tough shit, I expect.

"Gwen I can't bring myself to do that, it feels so unfair to the person standing with their food and drink and nowhere to sit when they were there before me."

How is it not fair? They have the same chance to get a table before queuing.

For goodness sake, people, read the thread. They weren't tables at a restaurant, they were public benches at an open air Christmas market. You can't reserve a public bench, especially If you aren't actually sitting on it! If you are disabled, you could ask someone to get up so you could have a seat if they were full. But being disabled doesn't give you the right to reserve public benches for your able-bodied family or friends!

What would I do if there are no tables left when I've bought my food?

Very often there would be plenty of tables if people didn't sit without eating. In small busy places this really makes a difference. It just beggars belief, this thought process "Oh, there aren't many tables available. I know, I'll solve this by making one less available even though I won't need it for another fifteen minutes during which time a couple of people could have drank their tea and gone."

Shelly.

"What about lone people?"

Like me, you mean? I put my coat down to keep the table.

"What do they when they’ve got their food and can’t sit down?"

This is why you have to 'keep' your table in advance.

" I'll solve this by making one less available even though I won't need it for another fifteen minutes during which time a couple of people could have drank their tea and gone."

Would you really spend pounds on a drink to leave in 15 minutes? People don't drink and go in the time I queue in the places I go to.

"They weren't tables at a restaurant, they were public benches at an open air Christmas market"

Not sure why it's so different, but then I don't eat at such places - cafe prices for outdoor eating. Also, people are saying you shouldn't bagsy a table in a cafe either.

"But what if you're on your own, you can't really save a table then and stand in the queue for food at the same time, can you. It's so annoying when you're on your own in the queue and you see couples/groups come in after you and save a table."

Of course you can. I do it all the time. I leave my coat and/or umbrella on the table.

You wouldn't have to though, if no one else was doing it. Just trust in the queue and all will be well.

Well, I join table bagsiers, I wouldn't be scared off by a coat. If the coat or the bagsier are joined by someone bringing food, I join the next coat or bagsier. As I said before, the most I ever had to move was once.

I bagsy tables if I am part of a group. In that we find seats, pick what we want and send one or two people to order the food.

But at an outdoor Christmas market it is not the norm to bagsy seating. You get your food and wander towards seating options till you find a good bench or wall to sit on, snacking on your food as you walk. You can't put an umbrella on a beach and disappear for 20 minutes and expect the seat and the umbrella to be ready for you when you get back.

Yanbu OP.

I agree with OP, very rude to hog a table when you haven't been served food yet and others are standing around with trays of food and hot drinks and nowhere to sit.

You will get a split jury here though.

Another topic that'll split MN is if it's ok to let your kids start eating food from your trolley in the supermarket before you've purchased it. (It'll be those table hoggers that you see with toddlers tucking into the digestives in the biscuit aisle )

I get the premise of it and there are 1001 variables as to why the person was sitting whilst her friend got the food.

I would say losing your shit in front of your kids isn't a good example to set. I would have gone with, 'Please mind your language, we've got food going cold, my children will sit down to eat, sorry if this inconveniences you. We shouldn't be long.' By exploding you're teaching DC if someone annoys you, it's fine for you to do whatever in return.

Alternatively if presented with a similar scenario in the future, ask DC what they want and either DH or yourself go and find an empty table and wait.

In Nando's you're seated before you order, ok it's a different premise, but I'd say if you plan on sitting, grab a table that's free, or if you see one become free try and acquire it. First come, first served.

Tensions are high, you're both hungry, it's crowded, recipe for disaster.

I hate people who bag tables. It’s selfish and rude. It makes eating in self service places impossible if you’re alone.

Sorry InLovewithLiz, as I said earlier losing my shit was very mild. I showed I was cross but I didn't explode. I was cross she was swearing at me in front of the DC - though my DD finds swear words quite exciting I think
The whole thing would have been different if she'd been reserving one seat, instead of an entire public bench next to her entire public bench. A bench each just wasn't on.
And it was definitely an eat quick and move on scenario - it was cold today!
Thanks all.

If it was the bench next to you - You were not being unreasonable at all.
If it was a seat/space maybe 2 spaces next to her then she could be disabled and waiting for her food. Not everyone is physically fit enough to queue don't forget. I often have to save a space for the person I'm with as I'm disabled. If some jumped up woman came and sat in the ONE remaining space next to me AFTER I had explained that I was saving this for my carer/my carer was sat there then I'd be fuming and it would be ME that would be losing my shit! That is actually discriminating against the carer and ultimately the disabled person as I would have to move to try find somewhere else with two seats. Please bare this in mind!

Only on mn do you get so many ridiculous responses about saving seats.

In real life, who the actual fuck queues at the counter of a busy cafe/packed McDonald's or the like with their oh and all their kids, gets hot food for everyone and then wanders around looking for a table?

Bloody no one in rl, that's who. You dump your oh and/or kids at a table when one or two queue.

And as for the people that stare others in the eye as they remove their dh's coat from the seat being saved for them, then sit at the table/bench/whatever with their own family - do you fuck as like actually do that 😂

Bloody no one in rl, that's who. You dump your oh and/or kids at a table when one or two queue.

Newsflash: you are not the standard everyone lives by. What is normal in your RL can be very unusual in the lives of others. That's true for all of us. Most people are surrounded by people much like themselves. Inner city dwellers in crowded places in my case. Yes, a table with one bagsier or just a coat "sitting" there may soon have company here.