'Saving' seats before they have food. WIBU

[mummymummums]

Me, DH, DD10 and DS9 all visited a Xmas market today. Lots of stalls, and a food area with various options. No actual seating provided but various benches dotted around and in rows. Queued for 15-20 mins, got food, and headed off to try to sit down - we all had a meal plus hot drink. I went and sat on an empty bench, but as the DC approached they were told 'I'm saving that for someone' by a woman on the end seat of the next bench. They diverted to the other side of me, to be told the same by a woman further up the next bench. I was and told them to sit down.
The woman started moaning that she was saving the seats for her friend who was getting her food. I pointed out that we had food there and then, and nowhere to sit.
She carried on getting indignant so I said she couldn't seriously think it was ok to deny people a seat on a public bench in favour of a friend who was nowhere to be seen and was still queuing for food. I pointed out I could have come and saved seats while DH queued, but that was unfair to people who had food. She then said "what the actual f^*•', right next to DD10 who had the seat nearest her, at which point I lost my shit. That shut her up.
We had finished eating by the time her friend appeared with the food 15 mins later, so I'm glad we didn't stand all the while the friend was queuing!
WIBU? Is it really ok to save public benches where other people have food, when you have no food???

It's an invasion of personal space and it's rude.

Nonsense. It is a public space. I'd love to have 3ft of personal space around me. The tube gets crowded, so do park benches and pubs. If I need more space the onus is on me to move somewhere less crowded rather than privatise public space.

Yes Landed - she wasn't even on the same bench. The one we sat on was completely empty. She was on the end of the next one. When friend appeared there was only one friend, not a bench full.

Well done ywnbu AT ALL! I hate this sort of thing and feel too awkward to do anything about it so it's good that you did on behalf of ppl like me!

It's ruder to think you own a whole park bench because you sat on it first.

Yeah, I would never sit on a park bench with someone when they had asked me not to. It's an invasion of personal space and it's rude.

Give over, what a wuss!

That's how I see it. I wouldn't like someone insisting on sitting beside me. Unless it is in your own garden or on your own sofa they can of course do exactly that. "Saving" two benches for one friend when others want to sit is ridiculously entitled. But in big cities and crowded areas such behaviour is usually corrected swiftly.

Pengggwyn it wasn't the same bench. I didn't try to sit on her lap
They were separate benches all seating at least 4 people. She didn't want us on the one next to her bench, which was for her friend.
All benches were lined up next to each other in a row.

The disabled argument seems irrelevant here.

OP wasn't asking the woman to move - so even had she been disabled, and her able bodied friend been queuing, she still would have been able to continue sitting. Her able bodied friend would also have been able to eat standing if no space had freed up.

I'm going to do a pic and upload in a mo

They were public benches, so the eatery did not have seating. In that situation ywbvu and rude - you shouldn’t have gone somewhere without seating if you wanted to sit down. Her bagsying a bench is neither here nor there.

YWNBU.

Only utter twats are entitled enough to think it’s ok to steal seating from other customers, when they themselves haven’t even been served.

What about single people? Or lone carers with young DC who can’t be left alone whilst they queue for food?

You queue. You get food. You find a table.

It’s selfish in the extreme to do otherwise.

@mummymummums

Like a few people here, I am on the fence. When me and DH go somewhere for food, (just us 2, or with our daughter,) one of us gets the food while the other/others get a table. I can't see the point in ordering before you have got somewhere to sit.

What if the woman you ranted at had already got her friend with her (and the food too?) What would you have done ten? Where would you have sat?

I think YWB a bit U

What would you have done THEN, not ten!

Ranty woman tried to save 2 4-seater public benches for herself and her friend, @helen3000. I would still have joined her and her friend if they had both sat already with 2 people on 8 seats.

I'm not a 'wuss'

Yes you are, grow a back bone. Other people don't own the chairs, the tables, the space. Nor do you.

I'm torn - I hate people seat saving, and yet I hate my family standing with me in the queue to get food. Public benches tho - a bit cheeky.

I'm with the seat saver here. Why would you buy food when there is no where to sit? You need to get your table sorted first otherwise go somewhere else. Only exception to this is if there are loads of tables free and is obvious you will get one. I don't understand why you are rude to her at all

It's the same in any public space. You can't basgsy a seat on the train, or the bus, or a park bench.

If your bum isn't occupying the space, then tough.

It's different if it isn't busy, then you might say 'do you mind, my friend is joining me' but you are calling on the good nature of the person in front of you. It is entirely reasonable for them to ignore you

They wbu you had food the woman didnt

Back in the day, I used to work at the glorious Burger King.

There were signs up everywhere in our branch telling people not to take a seat unless they had been served their meal.

Some people inevitably ignored the signs. So it was my job to ask them nicely to get off the seats and let people who’d been served have them.

Obviously they were just thrilled by this polite request.

I might take a seat myself if the food outlet was relatively quiet. Wouldn’t risk it if it were heaving.

Here's my pic