'Saving' seats before they have food. WIBU

[mummymummums]

Me, DH, DD10 and DS9 all visited a Xmas market today. Lots of stalls, and a food area with various options. No actual seating provided but various benches dotted around and in rows. Queued for 15-20 mins, got food, and headed off to try to sit down - we all had a meal plus hot drink. I went and sat on an empty bench, but as the DC approached they were told 'I'm saving that for someone' by a woman on the end seat of the next bench. They diverted to the other side of me, to be told the same by a woman further up the next bench. I was and told them to sit down.
The woman started moaning that she was saving the seats for her friend who was getting her food. I pointed out that we had food there and then, and nowhere to sit.
She carried on getting indignant so I said she couldn't seriously think it was ok to deny people a seat on a public bench in favour of a friend who was nowhere to be seen and was still queuing for food. I pointed out I could have come and saved seats while DH queued, but that was unfair to people who had food. She then said "what the actual f^*•', right next to DD10 who had the seat nearest her, at which point I lost my shit. That shut her up.
We had finished eating by the time her friend appeared with the food 15 mins later, so I'm glad we didn't stand all the while the friend was queuing!
WIBU? Is it really ok to save public benches where other people have food, when you have no food???

I hate it when people "save seats" in those situations. It means that the majority of the time, no one is sitting in the seats. They are just empty and waiting because it takes longer to get the food than to eat the food.

And no hope at for parents who are with children but don't have another adult with them. Once they have food they just walk around in circles hoping nothing gets spilt while people explain that they can't use all the empty seats. I don't know how anyone can think that's a good system.

I honestly avoid eating places like that because it is all so insane and annoying. I'll pay for food that comes with a seat that I don't have to fight for.

Poppy me neither

You were not unreasonable OP. Unless the people saving have a particular additional reason not to stand it's very rude to save seats.

YWNBU, in that situation. I think Xmas market food is usually designed so that it can be eaten while standing, so first come first served re seating seems fine.

I have come round to the ideas of saving tables in restaurants though, as it is pointless queuing up for food if there is nowhere to sit once you have it.

But half the time the reason that there's nowhere to sit is because of all the prannets taking up seats before they've got food. So they're doing something because of a problem that they and people like them have created.

And no hope at for parents who are with children but don't have another adult with them. Once they have food they just walk around in circles hoping nothing gets spilt while people explain that they can't use all the empty seats

Yes this too. As a LP with full custody and rarely any support while out and about, there is no other adult to save a seat for me and small DC even if I wanted that.

There are plenty of selfish adults who will watch a child get upset while claiming they own an empty table, but am willing to bet the exact same people would be the most vocal where they are the ones needing somewhere to sit. Just interested in themselves.

'Saving seats' is a bit ridiculous. this isn't like occupying a table where you sit down and get comfortable, you would normally only have one party to a table etc. This is someone sitting on a public bench and telling everyone else that they can't sit there.

I juggled back to the Counter and demanded my money back... after a short but heated debate they refunded me in full ...  and went elsew

Not sure that's anything to be proud of... it's not the establishments fault that you didn't have a seat. Unless it was cool, pre-packaged food, that food was cooked a prepared for you, so as a result, the business lost out and that food went in the bin.

Well maybe the establishment should turf the seat savers out then.

Had this on a train the other day, it was packed and one woman had her bags on the seat next to her. She said she was saving it for her friend who was getting on in a few stops. I said but I'm here now and there's nowhere else to sit. She reluctantly moved her bags and then said quite sheepishly when two hours later we got to the end of the line and no friend had appeared 'oh my friend must have missed the train'

I totally understand saving seats while one person queues for food- in a seated eating establishment. So if you went into weatherspoons for example where you order at the bar, it is your responsibility to ensure you have somewhere to sit, perch or lean while you eat. Both for your benefit and for the server who has to locate you to serve you got food. When it is a street food style eatery, it's 100% first come first serve. You sit where you can, if you can. There is no guarantee of a seat so there should be no expectation of one either. If you can't eat said food standing up, then that's your problem.
If the lady really was saving 5 seats for 2 people, that is unreasonable. If she was saving one extra seat, I would have been more understanding, but probably offered to do what's you accidentally ended up doing- using the seats until her friend turned up.

I once had a similar argument with someone in a busy car park. I was reversing into a space a car had just vacated and a woman stood in my way and when I asked her what she was doing she said she was saving the space for her friend. Her friend was meanwhile driving around the car park looking for a space and the space blocker was trying to wave her over to take the space she was keeping for her. She stood her ground for a bit but I told her she was being absolutely ridiculous and she eventually sidled off.

YANBU I hate this too. I suppose in a market it's hard to police but i really hate it in cafes when they take orders and serve you food when there are no seats!

Foxgloves good for you

"They WBU. Unless it's table service you order your food first and then find a seat."

Um, no.In a cafe? In Macdonalds? In Costa? No way am I queuing to then find there's no seat. You get your table first then you go and queue, whether that's on your own, leaving your coat on the chair or in a group with one person sitting at the table and one going to get food. YABU.

Gwen I can't bring myself to do that, it feels so unfair to the person standing with their food and drink and nowhere to sit when they were there before me.

I hate places like this - fair enough in big places like IKEA restaurant when there are loads of tables, but smaller places with this system really annoy me - there is a great breakfast / lunch place near me I avoid for this reason - I went there on my own a couple of times, stood in line to order food, while people coming after me sent members of their group to hold the few free tables that came up, so I had to sit outside in the cold. I think they should just do table service to be fair to everyone and if it happens to me again I’ll be looking for a refund.

As for this scenario, UWNBU OP, yo can’t reserve a public bench you are not even sitting at.

Her friend was meanwhile driving around the car park looking for a space and the space blocker was trying to wave her over to take the space she was keeping for her

I did this for a friend yesterday. She was going to move her car from far away which was the only place she could park earlier, to right next to the door so she could bring her daughter, who has a wheelchair, out of the building and get her safely into the car. Someone came to take the space, I explained, they swore at me but moved on. Sometimes it’s not as simple as “bagsy”.

Yanbu. You needed the man behind the counter at the louvre cafe in Paris. You queue for food and if anyone snuck past the queue to save a table he bellowed with strong French accent "you! Get back! No food no table" . My kind of guy.

KERALA I love the sound of him!
original a disabled passenger is slightly different.In that case I'd pull up outside the building and use my hazards.Pedestrians can't reserve parking.

So this woman waa saving an entire bench for one person?

1. why not on her own bench?
2. sounds like plenty of space to share

I think she was ok to save a seat for her friend but only ONE seat. She was unreasonable to want two benches. I think you were ok to want to share the bench. I think she was rude and ridiculous to get angry and I think your were unreasonable to 'lose your shit' especially as you were with your kids.

Always find a table before I order food. It's the only way to do it. Why would you get food on the off-chance of nowhere to sit? Bonkers.

Recently went to a diner in Boston called the paramount where they refuse to let you sit down until you have food. It's a tiny place but no one was waiting for a table for long at all it seemed a lot fairer!

I think you both could have been more polite tbh. Maybe if you'd just said, OK well we'll sit here until your friend arrives then and I doubt she would have cared.

I agree