'Saving' seats before they have food. WIBU

[mummymummums]

Me, DH, DD10 and DS9 all visited a Xmas market today. Lots of stalls, and a food area with various options. No actual seating provided but various benches dotted around and in rows. Queued for 15-20 mins, got food, and headed off to try to sit down - we all had a meal plus hot drink. I went and sat on an empty bench, but as the DC approached they were told 'I'm saving that for someone' by a woman on the end seat of the next bench. They diverted to the other side of me, to be told the same by a woman further up the next bench. I was and told them to sit down.
The woman started moaning that she was saving the seats for her friend who was getting her food. I pointed out that we had food there and then, and nowhere to sit.
She carried on getting indignant so I said she couldn't seriously think it was ok to deny people a seat on a public bench in favour of a friend who was nowhere to be seen and was still queuing for food. I pointed out I could have come and saved seats while DH queued, but that was unfair to people who had food. She then said "what the actual f^*•', right next to DD10 who had the seat nearest her, at which point I lost my shit. That shut her up.
We had finished eating by the time her friend appeared with the food 15 mins later, so I'm glad we didn't stand all the while the friend was queuing!
WIBU? Is it really ok to save public benches where other people have food, when you have no food???

Yes you are, grow a back bone. Other people don't own the chairs, the tables, the space. Nor do you
You may have a backbone ( according to you) but you're massively rude.

"You were right" that was to you, OP.

My Grandma had it cracked, she would take her seatstick everywhere she went.

Thing is that table bagging just interferes with the normal flow of a cafe/whatever in that essentially tables are being taken up by people who aren't eating yet. If no one did it, there would be plenty (or at least more) tables to go around because there would be a proper amount of free tables compared to number of people with food. So it just fucks it up for everyone.

And thinking that you can somehow stake claim to two four person benches for two people, one of whom isn't actually there, is batshit. Ywnbu.

PantPlot

If you knew me you would know how funny that is.

Ah but I don't. So I stand by the wuss thing.

I'd probably sit on someone who decided to sit on a chair at a table we'd saved! No that's a lie, I'd more likely move their food to the bin and they can eat there.

Of course you get a seat before ordering. Otherwise you may not have a seat. At the Christmas Fair the other week, massive queues and about four tables. My mum went and sat down while I got the food. It's common sense.

Since when do you “save a space” on a park bench? YANBU OP I’d have sat down and ignored her.

I would have said politely 'would you mind terribly if we sat and ate till your friend arrives?' And then would have gotten up as soon as they did arrive back with their food. If she then rudely said 'I'd rather you didnt'. I'd give my kids my seat and stand and eat awkwardly close to the empty seat, using it to put my drink on. Letting her know I thought she was a jerk.

It's a public bench. For the public.

Much easier than a cafe situation.

Pengggwn
Ignore, imagine what they must be like in real life!

This does annoy me, especially when I'm on my own and go for a coffee or bite to eat.

I've had to go for the if you can't beat them join them philosophy and leave my coat on a chair because twice I've been in the situation where I can't get a seat because people who can in after me have sent someone to keep a seat.

But HunterHears as I've said - it wasn't a seat. She was saving the whole bench for her friend. I was sat down the furthest end - there were still at least 3 seats and she told DC they couldn't sit there. If her friend had come (which she didn't while we were eating) there was more than enough room for her without anyone touching or even clanking elbows

There's a distinct cultural difference at play, possibly - where I'm from, the done thing is to find somewhere to eat THEN order.

I wouldn't order food if I hadn't found somewhere to sit, I'd go somewhere else. I was by myself in Central London today battling the sales & walked out of two cafes because I couldn't reliably be sure there'd be somewhere for me to sit after I bought food at the counter.

My mum went and sat down while I got the food. It's common sense

No, common sense says by the time the people in the queue have their food, the people at the tables are finished. What you did was just make sure you were ok, everyone else be damned.

Mummy in your situ I get it. A bench can't really be bagsied. But to others who sit at tables people have sorted ready to eat.. Not so much.

No.

If there's a few tables and plenty more people in the queue that doesn't happen. It's impossible. It would be luck of the draw.

You were right ... however, I wouldn't want to order food somewhere busy unless I knew I'd be able to sit down. When ordering food today I got the DCs to go ahead and save a table for us. However, I would have been happy to budge up and share with people who didn't have a seat if they turned up with food. IMO it was fine for her to tell you that she was saving the seats, but once it became clear that you were not going to go away and had made your point about needing somewhere to sit, the decent thing for her to do would have been to say, 'Ok, fair enough, but if my friends turn up would you mind trying to make room for them too?' Nowt wrong with a bit of compromise and community spirit in these situations - it doesn't always have to be a 'one of us has to win' scenario.

All very well for those people with two adults, one to save the seat the other to get the food, this is most annoying for people on their own or with children.............

Just to add, I wouldn't have sat at a table that someone was at. This was several outdoor park style benches. She'd saved a whole one for her friend. And another for herself plus bags.

Trying to save a whole bench is a bit weird if she only had one friend she was waiting for. Where's the need? It's a given on a public bench that someone might sit next to you.

With tables in a cafe however I've always done table saving, I thought that was the norm honestly as standing to eat isn't really an option. If I can't get a table I don't really want the food, I want to look elsewhere but it'll be a bit late if I wait until I've paid.

this happened to myself and my kids when they were alot yoounger.. I ordered us all food... juggled with toddler and buggy to find seating.. zilch seating.. lots of people sat reading papers etc NOT eating...

I juggled back to the Counter and demanded my money back... after a short but heated debate they refunded me in full ... and went elsewhere

It's a Christmas Market so presumably it's quick street food type of fayre. In the OP, the waiting time was stated as 20 minutes, in which case most people would finish their food in that time and clear from the seats. I just couldn't imagine being so thoughtless to 'reserve' seats for 20 minutes whilst around me people with food were standing.

YANBU thoughtless behaviour.