'Saving' seats before they have food. WIBU

[mummymummums]

Me, DH, DD10 and DS9 all visited a Xmas market today. Lots of stalls, and a food area with various options. No actual seating provided but various benches dotted around and in rows. Queued for 15-20 mins, got food, and headed off to try to sit down - we all had a meal plus hot drink. I went and sat on an empty bench, but as the DC approached they were told 'I'm saving that for someone' by a woman on the end seat of the next bench. They diverted to the other side of me, to be told the same by a woman further up the next bench. I was and told them to sit down.
The woman started moaning that she was saving the seats for her friend who was getting her food. I pointed out that we had food there and then, and nowhere to sit.
She carried on getting indignant so I said she couldn't seriously think it was ok to deny people a seat on a public bench in favour of a friend who was nowhere to be seen and was still queuing for food. I pointed out I could have come and saved seats while DH queued, but that was unfair to people who had food. She then said "what the actual f^*•', right next to DD10 who had the seat nearest her, at which point I lost my shit. That shut her up.
We had finished eating by the time her friend appeared with the food 15 mins later, so I'm glad we didn't stand all the while the friend was queuing!
WIBU? Is it really ok to save public benches where other people have food, when you have no food???

Disabled 7 year old DS once needed to sit down in Waterloo station. There was a spare seat but apparently that belonged to the invisible wife of the bloke sitting on the next seat. I was that the needs of an invisible woman trumped those of a disabled child, but hey ho....

How petty.

Never done this before but ravingroo WHAT? When we pay our taxes it entitles no-one to say this bench is my bench and my bench only! Can you imagine? This is my pavement which leads to my house so you can't stand there!!!

Grow a backbone? Get to fuck, eh?

There you go, that's a start. Now try it the next time someone tells you they don't want you to sit near them, instead of meekly shuffling off

I'd love to bagsy Green Park, but all those other Londoners insist on turning up. Terribly rude of them to invade my personal space like that. I tould them my friends will come later, there will be 20 of us, but the rude fuckers will insist on having their own picnics and games there. Ho hum.

*told

We had the same in a busy packed garden centre cafe yesterday. What I struggle to understand is that if everyone took a table when they had food, they'd have eaten and moved on by the time the next person needed it. It's a short pit stop, not a tasting menu.

Great picture, OP. Yes, ridiculous to try and save 2 4-seaters.

I admire your balls, OP. I'd have walked away seething, I think.

purple pumpkin ^ yes this exactly

YWNBU

I have had this - with a small child, who is hungry and wants the food they can see and smell. Trying to sit down (in Ikea in this case) at 2-3 tables next to each other and one woman sat there, who said 'someone is sitting there'. We had to wait standing nearby while our food got cold and as I complied, she just smugly sat there on her phone with none of her friends in sight. Infuriating and the height of rudeness.

Next time, I won't be complying, I will be saying 'no they aren't', directing my child to sit at one of the unoccupied places and doing the same. Because as in the OP's case here, the likelihood is that we will be done eating by the time they arrive, and besides that the seat-hogger doesn't have any claim on those chairs just because they announce themselves as such. What are they going to do anyway, they have not booked them, they have no authority and they are being twats.

Pengggwyn no one was on her bench but there were bags - don't know if they were hers or her friend's, but must've been theirs.
If they have been sitting eating, then we'd have stood and eaten, or waited - my pic shows 3 benches but there were several - I picked the empty one as there were 4 of us although DH decided to stand. There was still room on the bench we chose for her friend. There were plenty of benches with one or two seats spare but I wanted to sit with the DC, not separately and the whole empty bench seemed free.

@JoWithABow

I'm with the seat saver here. Why would you buy food when there is no where to sit? You need to get your table sorted first otherwise go somewhere else. Only exception to this is if there are loads of tables free and is obvious you will get one. I don't understand why you are rude to her at all.

I agree. If everyone got the table before they got their food, there wouldn't ever be an issue would there?!

I can see both sides here to be fair, but I am slightly on the side of the seat saver. As has been said, what is the point of getting your food before you have got your seat. Re, the burger king lady who said she told people to get out of the seats (who were reserving them for the family member getting the food;) if that had been done to me, we would have all walked out, and they would have lost our custom.

Yes JaneEyre exactly!

Erm, no, because I'm not a dick. If I was going to sit next to them whatever their preference I wouldn't be so rude as to ask them first.

I didn't say anything about you asking them?

I think it depends on the situation. If the cafe/restaurant is half employed with lots of seating spare then I wouldn't hesitate to send the dc or my Mum to sit down at a table while I ordered. If the place is full though then it is bad manners and very selfish to save seats when your friend is 10 minutes away from being served in the queue while you sit there and watch people look for seating with a tray of hot food and drink. It's the height of selfishness. Not everyone is in a position to send someone to save a seat either. It should work like by the time people have queued and been served the people sitting and eating would have finished and vacated their seats for the next lot.

I had it in McDonald's once where I was looking for a seat with my (then) young dc and someone was sat there saving a table for 4 and pretending not to notice the people walking around with trays of hot food looking for seating. Luckily a nice family said they were just leaving so we had their table. When we finished and I was putting the tray away I noticed the woman saving the seat's family just arriving at the table to sit down with the food.

People can be very selfish.

How could she and her mate possibly have needed a WHOLE BENCH EACH?

YWNBU in the slightest

TBH in that kind of set up you have to be prepared to share.

The disabled argument seems irrelevant here

I agree.

And for us, the disability is what makes it a real pain in the arse when people take tables when they have no food. Our girl can’t walk and eat as most folk can so if there is nowhere to sit, we’re stuck. The only time we will sit her before we have food is, if there is a bench easy to get to and the area is crowded so there would be no chance getting through. And if someone comes along with food they are welcome to join us, and I will stand so they can sit.

The “l can’t queue” excuse can sometimes be real but is often used when it’s just not true. I’m honest enough to say we’ve used it (sparingly) Our girl can queue, although finds those zig zaggy things difficult. Or if it is a big hill, it’s tough on her legs. Once in London, short on time, didn’t fancy the 1hr queue for a museum and she was devastated at the suggestion we wouldn’t queue. Two other times we used it kind of to make a point how poorly organised the venues where for those with a disability.

excellent diagram deployment btw, commendable for its clarity

I agree. If everyone got the table before they got their food, there wouldn't ever be an issue would there?! grin

The argument I heard at work was that that turnover would decrease, particularly as you can never guarantee a system whereby everyone will grab a table before ordering.

There will always be queuers-before-eating.

It's a kind of law of the jungle thing I guess. If you don't find a seat first before ordering someone else will. That is especially a nightmare when you have kids with you. Thats why i normally get kids seated first and then go and order. Personally I would contest you if I had seats saved but deep down know that you are sort of in the right and if you sat down there would be F all I could do about it. Luckily most people are far to polite to challenge things like you. But these sort of things often bring out an every person for them self jungle mentality.

PantPlot

Then you're doubly rude. I am not scared or a wuss. I am just not rude.

Oh I was referring to you saying you would move if someone asked you to. Just seems very submissive that's all.

You were right.