To think if a mum is happy to leave 2 kids alone at a table the restaurant staff should leave them alone

[Kitsandkids]

Currently in a family friendly restaurant. A mum has taken a toddler to the toilet leaving 2 children aged anywhere between 5 and 8, at a guess, sitting at the table. They are not being rowdy, they are not crying, they are just sitting quietly. But when a waitress came over with their food she got annoyed that they are alone and has left another staff member standing next to the table. So now they are sitting in awkward silence waiting for mum to return. Is it just me who thinks if mum is fine to leave the together, and they're not causing a disturbance, the staff should leave them alone?

As I said I'm talking about playing out. There is no way my kids school would let them go home alone.

Alas a 6yo walking 30 mins to school alone in the UK probably would have child protection services on your back. It's weird isn't it - kids in other countries do this fine. So either we have exceptionally dim-witted children in the UK compared to elsewhere, or our attitude to risk has become skewed

Definitely the latter, pretty sure UK kids aren't exceptionally dimwitted It is silly how child protection would probably get involved with what my DD can do with no issue here (I've discussed it with social workers here, they think it's fine) but risk perception has become so skewed in the UK.

The police were alerted to a woman who left her daughter playing by a water feature in my local town centre whilst she went into the bank. And yes it definitely did happen as I was there. So I definitely know that social services would be informed if a child was walking 30/40 minutes to school alone at 6.

The police were alerted did they arrest the mum?

@thislittlekitty I believe your school wouldn't let them go but not the same across the uk.

I can't see how the over stretched social work would notice if a kid has a long walk to school there would have to be other factors.

Ofcourse not. That's not what it was about but they were alerted to an unattended child on the street. So they waited with her till the mother returned. Just because something isn't a crime doesn't mean it isn't a safe guarding issue

People alert police for many things, doesn't mean it's against the law.

Though leaving a child (how young?) playing by a water feature (water is a bigger risk) could very well warrant alerting the police.

I don't doubt social services would be informed in the UK, but that doesn't mean there's anything wrong with it, just that risk perception is different. Social services here know my DD walks alone, her teacher knows she walks alone, no one is concerned because risk perception is more balanced.

It's no different than if the mum were to go behind a pillar to get condiments and cutlery and leave the kids by the table!

I would absolutely have done that and have done so.

I once had another parent telling my nanny off for leaving my older DS in the playground when she took the younger one to the toilet. (very close by as in the playground) She was very upset at this and was scared I was going to tell her off. I told the other parent to mind her own business. My older one was 6 knew the playground well, had other friends there and sat happily playing in the sand pit.

Some people on here ring 101 i.e. alert police about crazy things. Just because someone alerted the police, it does not mean the police actually did anything.

Yes they were looking for the mother and waited until she returned. The child wasn't just left there to get on with it.

As a social worker who used to work in Child Protection i can absolutely tell you that leaving your 5 and 8 year old alone while you popped to the loo would not even remotely be on my radar. I would do it myself! Child protection deals with sexual abuse and physical abuse on the whole. Things that are criminal offences. It wouldn't even come in the realm of a general SS referral. If maybe the parent left the kids there and went away out the building for an hour or so we would be talking SS issues, but not popping to the loo for 5 minutes in the same building. Do you know how stretched SS are ffs?

I'm surprised shoppers didn't just keep an eye on the girl waiting for her mum to come out of the bank or ask her where mum was (I assume she was old enough to speak) rather than phoning police. That does seem like a waste of their time.

It's not particularly relevant to this thread in that a child of 6yrs playing out without a parent or sitting at a table in McDonald's doesn't warrant a call to the police. As a stand alone event it isn't a safe guarding issue and SS wouldn't get involved either.

I'm not too sure how old the girl was. Other people might not have noticed and thought she had been left. I noticed the commotion when the police were there. I don't think someone called them I think they were just patrolling (police are around in my area a lot) but point is if people see an unattended child it raises concerns.

If anything this thread has terrified me about going to McDonalds lol! Full of drunks, drug users, child abusers where the floor is soaking wet with hot drinks getting chucked aboutmif you listen to some people on this thread. That's if you don't fall down the stairs first!

He he NickNacky It all sounds like a health and safety nightmare

Yes Kitty now you've explained it makes more sense. Some patrolling police passed the child waiting for her mum and thought she might be lost or accidentally separated from her parent and decided to wait with her.

That seems a more reasonable scenario than a member of public alerting them!

Like I said point is if a child is left alone it's a concern. Like if the police were passing and saw a 6 year old on a road alone with no parent in sight I'm sure they would stop then aswell

A child wandering in the middle of the road, then yes but a child waiting to cross a road on their own? No not a police matter at all (imo).

I would have done this without even thinking when my children were that age! It wouldn't have even occurred to me to take them to the loo with me. I also wouldn't have taken my ds's into the ladies with me at those ages (maybe 5 at a push, certainly not 8) so absolutely they would have waited outside or at the table (depending on the situation).

Like I said point is if a child is left alone it's a concern. Like if the police were passing and saw a 6 year old on a road alone with no parent in sight I'm sure they would stop then aswell

If the police were passing a table in a restaurant I doubt they would have aything to say about it.

Do people actually think leaving them while you go to the loo is the same as having unattended toddlers wandering through the streets?

No not in a restaurant. I think it's clear I'm referring to the 6 year old who walks to school alone. Since I've said it a few times

if police saw a child on a road alone they should stop.

On a path between 8.30-9am walking in the direction of school there is no way they would stop.

And if the police here saw my DD walking to school they'd not do anything unless she looked to be in distress or lost.

Finding that hard to believe.

I have a very short 9yo who often walks to school alone. I'd imagine from the perspective of an elderly person she could be anything between 5 and 12. Pleased to report that she's never been stopped by the police, and I'd be and if she ever were!

It's standard it a few European and Scandinavian countries for 5 year olds to walk to school with parents. Really.