Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think if a mum is happy to leave 2 kids alone at a table the restaurant staff should leave them alone

283 replies

Kitsandkids · 26/11/2017 15:41

Currently in a family friendly restaurant. A mum has taken a toddler to the toilet leaving 2 children aged anywhere between 5 and 8, at a guess, sitting at the table. They are not being rowdy, they are not crying, they are just sitting quietly. But when a waitress came over with their food she got annoyed that they are alone and has left another staff member standing next to the table. So now they are sitting in awkward silence waiting for mum to return. Is it just me who thinks if mum is fine to leave the together, and they're not causing a disturbance, the staff should leave them alone?

OP posts:
Original poster
Kitsandkids · 28/11/2017 08:08

The kids in question weren't on the table with iPads. They were just sitting still and quietly in a normal 4 seater table. I hadn't heard a peep out of them - I only noticed when I heard the staff member talking to the other staff member about where their parent was.

My kids were on the iPads. They know in normal restaurants I don't allow tech at the table, so they love going to McDonald's! Grin

OP posts:
berni140 · 28/11/2017 08:12

I can't believe people feel the need to list what could go wrong if you leave your kids unsupervised. There are things in life that might never happen, but then the one in a thousand/million thing COULD happen and then what do you do? Also to the 'it's only a few minutes' people, we all know with kids anything can happen within seconds with kids. They're being left in a strange place with strangers and they're not adults. Of course taking three kids into a bathroom is a bit difficult, but it's life with kids and only for a few years so it should be done. By the way I'm sure if there's not one up already, there's a 'children should not be left unsupervised' sign lurking about. i think it was good form of the restaurant to do it and I hope they spoke to the lady when she returned.

DivisionBelle · 28/11/2017 08:15

Ah, thanks for the McD iPad update! It’s a while since I have sat down in a McD.

Purplealienpuke · 28/11/2017 08:31

Surely the mother knows her kids?? Some kids would not be ok while mum nipped to the loo & others would be fine!!
For those saying would you leave kids that age alone while you went to the shops... Not the same thing at all!! The mother is on the premises, she's just in the loo for goodness sake. All this judgemental bullshit drives me nuts!

Padfoot1 · 28/11/2017 08:32

Is this a well known family place beginning with H? I have a 7 month old and we had to have a corner table in case the waitress spilt hot water over the baby which apparently did happen in one of their restaurants. They also no longer sell refillable coke because as an adult who is a healthy weight with no fillings I can't make my own decisions 🙄. They are afraid of being sued I guess

purplebunny2012 · 28/11/2017 09:18

When did H stop doing refills? I was in one only a couple of weeks ago and still got refills

Calm33 · 28/11/2017 09:47

Yes I agree the "americanisation of the uk and its suing policy' has a lot to do with it. The mum would probably had a quite word with a waiter to keep an eye on them. That is how it used to be done but now life has got so complicated.

Natsku · 28/11/2017 10:26

Clearly my country is behind the times, we don't have ipads at McDonald's yet :( But on the plus side we don't have people worrying about a 5yr old and an 8yr old waiting at a table for mum to get back from the loo! I'm quite happy to leave my 6 year old at the table while I pop to the loo, never been an issue but if waiting staff felt the need to keep an eye on her I'd just politely thank them.

Haha you are leaving your 6yo outside unattended? I assume not in your garden? No comment! Absolute joke!

Nothing wrong with a sensible 6 year old playing out. My 6 year old walks to school and back (30-40 min walk) by herself, she can definitely play in the neighbourhood without me being by her side the whole time.

The whole teachers only releasing children to their parents thing just wouldn't fly here - they only do that in the preschool year and only if the parents don't give permission for them to leave alone (some of the children will still be 5 in the first term but if you give written permission for them to walk alone it's fine)

achapman · 28/11/2017 10:35

What would happen if one of the unattended children went missing? Say someone, an ex-partner of the woman, a random stranger or whoever, enticed one of those children to leave with him? Who would be blamed?
I'm sure the mum who left the child would point the finger at the restaurant, so I don't blame the staff there at all for what they did.

CryingShame · 28/11/2017 10:47

There are some risks you have to take as a family. We had this when my MIL was very ill and it took 2 adults to help her to the loo when we went to restaurants. Ds (5/6) had a tablet, was shown how to identify staff if he needed them and told on pain of death not to move from the table unless something happened where he needed the staff. He never usually had his tablet so sat and played on it whilst DH and I helped his mum. If he hadn't been able to sit alone we couldn't have taken her out to eat.

Theoretically he could have gone missing, but we'd then be looking at CCTV to see who he left with, and he knew where we'd gone. It's a theoretical risk but not a huge one so you balance the risks for yourself as a parent.

brasty · 28/11/2017 11:10

How many children ever have been enticed out of a restaurant by a stranger? I'll give you a clue - absolutely none. Everything we do everyday has risks. The most risky thing we do every day is driving kids in a car. But we have to have a sense of perspective.

ThisLittleKitty · 28/11/2017 11:28

Nothing wrong with a sensible 6 year old playing out. My 6 year old walks to school and back (30-40 min walk) by herself, she can definitely play in the neighbourhood without me being by her side the whole time.

Where do you live?? This wouldn't be allowed in the uk.

DivisionBelle · 28/11/2017 11:33

Enticed our?
No.
Decide to nip out for some reason: highly likely for a 3 yo, not for an obedient 6 yo.

brasty · 28/11/2017 11:37

You know if your child will stay sitting at a table while you nip to the loo. Some children are very obedient and would never nip out.

brasty · 28/11/2017 11:38

ThisLittleKitty That is commonplace in many other countries. The UK is way over protective.

Scabbersley · 28/11/2017 11:40

I have left my children unattended in restaurants since they were small. I've never had any issues or even considered it was a problem until reading this thread!

It wouldn't have even occurred to me to take my 5 and 8 year old to the loo if I went by myself!

Perhaps I just had exceptionally well-behaved and sensible children!

Scabbersley · 28/11/2017 11:42

Where do you live?? This wouldn't be allowed in the uk

allowed by who? I don't think its against the law! Unless the law has changed in the last 30 years, as we certainly played outside in the street at 6!

curlilox · 28/11/2017 11:52

It may be a child protection issue. The restaurant possibly have a policy that says that if they see unsupervised children, then they have to ensure their safety.

ThisLittleKitty · 28/11/2017 11:53

Not against the law but social services would become involved.

ThisLittleKitty · 28/11/2017 11:55

Not talking about playing outside I'm talking about the comment I highlighted about walking 30-40 minutes to school alone at 6.

Scabbersley · 28/11/2017 11:56

Well at my dds old primary you could walk to school from 8 years old. I doubt social services would have been involved. Personally I wouldnt let a 6 year old walk a 40 min journey alone but I really don't think there is any law against it.

frogsoup · 28/11/2017 11:56

Alas a 6yo walking 30 mins to school alone in the UK probably would have child protection services on your back. It's weird isn't it - kids in other countries do this fine. So either we have exceptionally dim-witted children in the UK compared to elsewhere, or our attitude to risk has become skewed. Reading this thread, I can't imagine which of the two it might be Hmm. Honestly, ab6 and an 8yo, special needs excepted, are more than capable of sitting still alone at a table for three minutes. If there is a problem, they will come and find you, or another adult will!!!! They may be small but they have initiative and a modicum of common sense, if you let them exercise it.

brasty · 28/11/2017 11:57

The restaurant may have a policy. But it really is not a child protection issue. A real child protection issue is the more common sight of children running around cafes with hot food and drink be carried.

Scabbersley · 28/11/2017 11:58

Honestly, ab6 and an 8yo, special needs excepted, are more than capable of sitting still alone at a table for three minutes. If there is a problem, they will come and find you, or another adult will!!!! They may be small but they have initiative and a modicum of common sense, if you let them exercise it.

absolutely

wtf is going to happen to them?? Any NT 6 year old who thinks its ok just to bugger off out of the restaurant is naughty and probably shouldn't be left alone, but honestly most kids are happy to sit with their burger and happy meal.

LML83 · 28/11/2017 11:58

@thislittlekitty my DD has played out by herself age 6. Lots of children in street, very normal here (uk)

I could ask her to walk to school and nobody would question it. If she had an 8 year old to collect her the school would let 6 year old go for home time too.

Swipe left for the next trending thread