To think if a mum is happy to leave 2 kids alone at a table the restaurant staff should leave them alone

[Kitsandkids]

Currently in a family friendly restaurant. A mum has taken a toddler to the toilet leaving 2 children aged anywhere between 5 and 8, at a guess, sitting at the table. They are not being rowdy, they are not crying, they are just sitting quietly. But when a waitress came over with their food she got annoyed that they are alone and has left another staff member standing next to the table. So now they are sitting in awkward silence waiting for mum to return. Is it just me who thinks if mum is fine to leave the together, and they're not causing a disturbance, the staff should leave them alone?

There is a waitress standing near them until Mum returns, they haven't been marched off to a Russian Gulag and kept behind bars! Mum should be grateful someone is keeping an eye on a 5 year old!

This is ridiculous. Some 5yos might not be safe left with their 8yo siblings, but many are. My 5yos (as in, they aren't now 5 any longer!) would not in a million years have moved from their table in this situation, let alone wandered off and fallen down a flight of stairs. Even my 3yo wouldn't do that, and I'd certainly leave her with her older siblings while I nipped to the loo. People nowadays massively underestimate how responsible and resourceful children can be, and this is a very low risk situation in the first place.

The staff were right. One thing to leave 5-8 yrs at table with no food and they are fine.

But what if food is served whilst mum in toilet and 5-8 yrs choke on it or throw it or douse it with half a pot of salt. Correct not to serve them.

I wouldn't leave a five year old in those circs either. But with their eight year old sibling, for just nipping to the loo, I would, if I knew that the two of them could handle it. Not for longer, and not in lots of other circumstances, but in a restaurant where they're both already sitting down, and with whatever knowledge I have of the two of them, I would. It's fine lines.

It's not their job to mind people's children. But equally, I can see why it'd be unnerving to staff to see a five year old left unsupervised.

Ah! Thanks zzzzz I wasn't sure if you meant that or '...having been abandoned by their mum'.

Pengwwn there were 2 kids. I appreciate I am old as Methuselah and so totally beyond reasonable, so very outdated, etc, but 8 and 5 year olds are perfectly capable of sitting at a table waiting for mum for 5 minutes or so. I have no idea how the human race would survive if this were not the case!

It would help if the mum had stopped to tell the staff what she was doing and that the other kids would be fine for two minutes. Otherwise the restaurant doesn't know what's going on. Maybe they've been blamed before for kids doing something daft while left at the table.

Op says two children between 5 and 8. Could have been 7&8.

I think it's great that she has cared enough to ask a staff member to stand by the table. I'm sure it's not that awkward for the children if their food's just arrived?

It's only going to be for 5 minutes or so.

Oh for goodness sake what a load of drama llama's. Of course a 5 and 8 year old will be fine alone at a table for a few minutes. Honestly - i despair sometimes.

I don't think a 5 year old should be left alone in a restaurant.

The 5 year old wasn’t. They were left with their 8 year old sibling, who has probably been helping to look to look after them since they were born.

An 8 year old is more than capable of looking after a 5 year old and mum clearly knew that.

The waiting staff are out of order.

Pengggwn what risk are you worried about? 5 and 8 year old's are old enough for quite a few freedoms. I definitely wouldn't feel the need to take a child over the age of about 4 to the toilet with me in a restaurant unless that child wasn't able to cope. I leave my toddlers at the table age 1 and 2 while I'm down the other end of places like harvester/pizza hut etc getting salad/drinks. Surely it's just an extension of trust as they get older?

I don't think kids should be left alone in a restaurant either.
If one of them decided to eat the food, took the wrong order, choked etc.
parents today blame others for their shortcomings, so I'd have put staff on the table too.

How do you know the mum didn't ask them to keep an eye?

Seriously, parents have to make calculated decisions and compromises like this all the time based on the age and temperament of their own children, environment they're in, distance and time they'll be gone etc, especially if you're out with 3 on your own. Not everyone would make the same decision because everyone's perception of risk and likelihood was different. But unless the restaurant staff had a specific reason (eg just brought very hot plates or alcohol to the table) I presume they thought they knew better than the parent. That's their choice if it makes them feel better but doesn't necessarily mean the parent did anything wrong.

No harm done anyway, not really for a bunch of strangers on the Internet to judge.

People do underestimate how responsible and well behaved children are.
Agreed. However, we live in a blame culture where some people will complain or threaten to sue for the slightest mishap. The restaurant are probably just trying to cover their arse should a drink get spilt, a child chokes or wanders off..or whatever.

I was out for a works meal once and someone started to choke, a man at another table did the heimlich manouevre. I think people choking on food is quite rare unless they have some medical condition and if it happened I'm sure someone would have intervened and if that is very unlikely maybe none of us should ever eat alone again. A bit awkward if you live alone but there are probably dead bodies all over the place and we can't have that.

Good for you. I am sure many agree with you. But that doesn't mean you have 'the right of it'! It's just a different way of parenting... not a crime, not abandonment, etc

Your other examples are silly, by the way... on a garage forecourt is not the same as in the car.

... by the side of a motorway... where did that come from? Not really similar in any way whatsoever!