To think gender alters the perception of what is said on MN?

[1DAD2KIDS]

I use a username that clearly identifies my gender (and is also my biological sex). Often I feel that if people assumed I was a woman their response would be different. Or if you swapped the genders around some people's responses would be completely different?

Meh. You know why I have a problem with you, dad, and I try to sit on my hands when I see you on threads. I don't give a shit that you are a guy telling a female forum what HE thinks, but it enrages me that you insist on telling a female forum what women think, and that you don't have the critical skills to question your own incredibly insular view of the world.

Any dude that believes the military is a paragon of gender equality, merely based on the fact that the women he works with haven't kept him informed of their experiences of assault and sex discrimination throughout their career isn't someone whose opinion I am particularly interested in. Except to be constantly amazed that a guy can be so utterly unaware of one's own privilege, and not have the faintest suspicion of the world from another sexes point of view.

You don't get to come onto a women's site and insist that sex discrimination does not exist, that men are equally discriminated against, and that campaigns to highlight male violence against women should include male victims too, and expect all the good little women should nod obsequiously and offer to make you a cup of tea.

If you spent more time listening to the women around you, instead of making assumptions from your position of privilege, and imparting your own brand of wisdom, you might find you get a better reception.

YANBU.

I suppose some women may want to use MN as a women-only space, but I use it because it's (IMO) the best parenting forum on the web, so I'm happy to engage with mothers and fathers - and with childless adults, especially in sections like AIBU.

I have noticed gender bias on MN around things like SAHP (it often seems that on here non-working mother of school age DC = SAHM, non-working father of school age DC = cocklodger) and finances (high earning woman who wants to keep her earnings separate = independent, high earning man who wants to keep his earnings separate = selfish) but that might just be the threads I've read.

But women dont need a man, if they need help they need someone who knows who what there talking about.

Still not sure what you mean by that.

You can't really blame readers from reading what you wrote there.

Bloody hell, worms are definitely easier to understand.

And what's particularly ironic, is that you can't see the parallels between what you are doing here, and what women have been saying in the military for years - why are you treating me differently because I'm a woman? How does it feel? Knowing that your presence is tolerated at best by most (although these folk always have to point out that you are different, an anomaly, and make jokes about the washing up or how big your arse is in your combat trousers), actively despised by a few, and that there are a couple of people you can count on as cheerleaders?

I think this experience is very good for you. Might give you a few much needed insights into the lot of women everywhere else.

How is it difficult to understand that women enjoy a predominantly female forum and don't WANT a 'male perspective'; that we do not feel it adds anything to the diversity, regardless of how many times you tell us it does?

Truth to tell, I'm actually pissing myself laughing. This should be an article in the poke. 'Man realises people are treated differently according to sex'.

Fucking hallelujah.

About time.

1DAD you say:

lots of different opinions many in support and against. Many saying the double standard was fine and many saying it was not.

So there you are diversity of conversation, opinion and thought from predominately female contributors, yet you think that needs to be enriched further by more male voices?

There are male voices on this site some appear to suffer bias some don't. An opinion from a male point of view will be taken differently than one from a female point of view because they are different opinions. Exactly the same as the bias found in the opinions from those who want to remain in the EU and those who don't because their opinions differ.

Advice to a male poster will be different from advice to a female poster because there are differences.

Diversity of conversation doesn't need a mixed sex group to make it diverse or enriching. There is no need for everyone, everywhere to be included in a conversation in order to make it diverse.

You believe a 'male' perspective needs to be added into debates on MN even when it is not asked for in order for females to understand better. That's arrogant, just because you think your opinion is relevant doesn't mean it is or that anyone else wants to hear it.

There is a very diverse mix of posters on MN (even though they are overwhelming female) with a very diverse mix of opinions yet you keep saying it needs enriching by more male voices, as a user of the site I don't think it does.

Why shouldn't men be treated differently on here? They've proven time and time again throughout history that they behave very differently to women as a class.

More like these worms:

Enjoy!

Beautiful, Lweji! (well, beautiful in their way)

Tell us more about parasites...

For an ex military man (according to yourself), I find it baffling that you are scared by a website of women voicing their opinions. If you don't like it, you know where the door is.

Woah! Impressive creatures lweji!

I personally couldn't care less if men post on here or not. I do think it's sad when people get personal and overly-defensive though. This is the internet and yes, MN is a predominantly female space, though there is a particular "MN perspective" that I don't really encounter in real life. A lot of women (not all obviously) seem to have a lot of anger towards men based on their own experiences and there's a lot of projection. Anyway, I don't know this particular male poster, but I'm sure we've all read far worse than anything he may have to say. There is bias on here about loads of things - SAHMs, WOHMs, gender neutrality, wealthy people, 50/50 housework-split obsessiveness - to name a few topics! It's so easy to pull the "a man has spoken" card to any male poster and threads often descend into this, which is a shame.

Well, the one on the clip can be caught by eating raw fish.

Remember to freeze your sushi fish first.

Parasites are fascinating huh. Great survival strategies

That's what got me into Parasitology. It's fascinating.

10 seconds in:

Many parasites don't have this gender issue thing. They're hermafrodites. Much easier life.

Parasites

And this

I was raised a devout atheist. But seeing some of these beasts, and also some very bizarre plant reproductive strategies, makes me really question natural selection....some niches just seem TOO niche!!

Also, there is a FORMULA for the distance of the planet's from the sun...they follow a pattern. Like a times table. How is that possible?

When you look at the final product it may look too niche, but we can often find intermediate forms.

For example, the worm on the snail tentacles. These worms must always infect a snail. Some are water snails, others are terrestrial. By natural selection, worms that make the snail easier to eat by predators will be more easily spread, leading eventually to very well tuned machines.

I know the thread has moved on but I looked at the post you referenced as an answer to my question OP and I didn't really understand, sorry. I would still really like to know if you felt your contribution on a thread directed at women in the title, about sexual harassment/abuse, was appropriate, relevant and valuable? Also, I have dyslexia too and I highly recommend using spell checker and keeping predictive text off when on a phone.

I saw a plant on a documentary that changed over night. One day it was all smelly and slippery, so that pollinators were attracted and fell into its 'cup'; got covered in pollen. The next day the plant becomes all sticky, and the pollinators are able to climb out. I wish I could remember the name of it. Awesome

Even the way humans have adapted is tremendous. Did you watch the Human Planet series?

I love this clip of Dorobo men stealing meat from a pride of lions

(My DH speaks the language. On the full version, as they are walking away, he says they are talking about how their testicles have retracted up inside their bodies!! )