When to take away "special" toy?

[cookingongas]

My dd (7) has a special bear which she loves. Has had since birth and has been her special comfort toy. She is very very attached to it.

My dm constantly expresses distaste at the toy. She feels I should take it off dd - she'll cry for a bit but just get used to it as it will break/get lost eventually. She's too old for this. It's embarrassing etc etc.

She's growing up in so many ways- she reads and writes and does her own hair etc and I feel that this is just one thing she's kept that is still "babyish".

When, if ever, do you start to take special toys away? When is it "weird " to still love a toy as much as this? Aibu to ignore dm and let dd enjoy the toy?

@LonelyOversharer, 😢, so very sad ...

My mum still has her bear (had to be rescued from a bonfire so has very little fur and no ears), he now sits wearing a sailor jacket enjoying his old age by a window.

Never! Your DM is being rather malicious, perhaps unintentionally.

I'm 42 and still have my three favourites. I pity anyone who tries to take them off me!

Wow! Don't think that I have ever seen 100% in agreement about anything.
I've had tears reading some of these posts. What a lovely, lovely thing to be in agreement with.

My special toys are sat on a chair in my bedroom..

This is Owly. My Nan got him for me when I was born. He mostly sits on my shelf but last year when my Nan passed away, and I was struggling, I took him to bed for a cuddle. It brought me so much comfort during a tough time (and I'm really not one for soppiness or teddy bears generally) and I was really glad to still have him. He does smell a bit though.

Totally agree do not ever take it away!
DS of 14 still has his soft doggy and sucks his thumb.
Toy gets hidden in drawer when friends around but he sleeps with every night.

Let her keep it forever

?? Why on earth would you take a cuddly toy away from a 7 yr old?

It’s not like it’s heroin is it?

Ps I still have mine and I’m 42. He sits on my chest of drawers.

I don't think it should be taken away, but the suggestion of it only being in the OP's DD's bedroom seems a way of gradually diminishing its importance.

Never!

My DH's "special bear" now occupies our spare bedroom let her keep it for as long as she wants! Your DM is talking nonsense.

Never ever ever ever. All 4 of my children have their special ones still. Even at 16,14,12 and 10 they regularly cuddle them especially when they are ill or upset. Don’t take that away.

Don’t take it away. I used my “blanky” every day until I met my husband aged 34. Even then I still haven’t thrown it out, but I never use it.......all my good friends and housemates, even a few boyfriends over the years knew. Nobody seemed to mind.

Haha @wrenika my rabbit also used to be pink and is now grey!
My mum used to put her through the wash every so often and hang her on the washing line by her ears! I cried every time!

Leave it be, it's doing no harm and it gives her comfort. She will eventually lose interest in it and then you can put it away and bring it out on her 21st

Transitional object

My 14 year old still sleeps with her manky white bear. Although said bear has recently been moved to sitting on her pillow rather than being hugged at night, as she is getting rather fragile...

Never, why would you, how mean!

Never!! Just ignore dm or tell her to mind her own.

My uncle was 70 when he gave up his much-loved bear, to my baby DD. Mine was lost in a messy situation when I was 21, and I still miss him.

My DM died recently in her 80s and we still have her special bear from childhood who has come to live with us and is looked after by DD

I slept with mine till I moved in with DP DS has it now. I wouldn’t ever get rid of something so precious to her

?? Why on earth would you take a cuddly toy away from a 7 yr old?

Yep, why why why would you do something so horrible?

Agree with PP that your mother will try to get rid of the toy - microchip is a great idea.