When to take away "special" toy?

[cookingongas]

My dd (7) has a special bear which she loves. Has had since birth and has been her special comfort toy. She is very very attached to it.

My dm constantly expresses distaste at the toy. She feels I should take it off dd - she'll cry for a bit but just get used to it as it will break/get lost eventually. She's too old for this. It's embarrassing etc etc.

She's growing up in so many ways- she reads and writes and does her own hair etc and I feel that this is just one thing she's kept that is still "babyish".

When, if ever, do you start to take special toys away? When is it "weird " to still love a toy as much as this? Aibu to ignore dm and let dd enjoy the toy?

My nearly 11 year old still has her teddy. I’m 33 and mine is still on my bedside table

My 15 year old dd still has her kaloo baby 'oowie' and i still have a brown dog with the floppiest ears- at 36 no point taking it away- perhaps just limit it to bedroom or home.

I was given a blue teddy bear when I was born - we're both in our early fifties now!

I'm 45 and I still have my security blanket (which is a scrappy knot of fabric) and my mouse. The mouse sits on a shelf and is occasionally cuddled, the blanket is in my bedside drawer and is rarely got out, but when I'm particularly stressed or upset I get it out to rub it on my face like a 3 year old. They do zero harm to anyone or anything, and they add to my life. What harm does it do to anyone?

Um...I'm 34 and still have mine 🙈

I am 39yo and i still have my special teddy my mum paid a lot of money fairly recently to have him restored because she knows how much I love him

My dd is nearly 12yo and has a range of special teddies that are all much loved, she has about 6 up in bed with her now. She can have them for as long as she wants.

Your mum sounds mean op

My DC sleeps with my childhood teddy.

I would say never take the toy away, it would be cruel and unnecessary.

NEVER. I’m 37 and my bunny still lives upstairs, in my daughters room. That rabbit still gets hugged every now and again. Please don’t take it away

I still have my ragged teddy bear. I’m 48.

Leave it be

Why would you tolerate anyone near you/dd that would willingly and knowingly hurt your child’s feelings to this enormous extent?

Your DM has something really wrong with her to do this to your child’s toy

Is she a narcissist? Was she mean to you too?

Nobody, but NOBODY would come between Monkey/ds (and me!)

Don’t have tome to read all your replies but please, please don’t even consider taking away your daughter’s special toy. And for anyone else reading please never remove this type of toy as a punishment, read up on transitional objects.

I still have my bear and I am 49 years old. It has lived in 4 countries (7 different cities) and has travelled the world. I find calling stuffed toys as babyish so strange. There is such a push to make children grow up and conform to some strange rules in our heads. One of my friends had a same discussion with her ds and called him a baby and everything (to his face). Meanwhile, my son, who is two years older, was still playing with these toys as were all his friends. School is scary and this gives her comfort. Let it go and she will grow as we all have.

I was given my first ever teddy bear at the grand old age of 34 by a boyfriend who felt I'd had a deprived childhood.. I am now 66 and Toby Brewster Bear, a Merrythought cinnamon bear, still sits on the chair beside my bed. My partner, 65, still adores his one-eyed, hairless teddy. Please do not deprive your child of a much-loved toy,

I have a customer who's in her 90s. She has a bear she loves. It makes her happy so why the hell not?

Tell your mum to mind her own business!

Absolutely never!

My son is 12, he fell in love with a monkey at 1 and he never left his side. He's well travelled, been through chicken pox, a broken ankle, sick bugs, tears, every bed time. He's now old, floppy and a little threadbare in places but still goes to bed every night, still needed when he's sick.

The sweetest part - he loves his monkey so much and is so important he was desperate to by his baby sister an identical one so she had a cuddly just as special to love! Being 7 years apart they had stopped making them but tracked one down on ebay. Their matching monkeys have been a huge bonding thing between them and they play with them together, always have them at bed time, if one is poorly the other instantly fetches their special.

My son was in tears at the thought he might have to get rid of him, i said he has him for as long as he wants, even if he's old and grey. Plus if he ever gets too old then i want to keep him! And my daughter's.

Fifty and still got my (thread)bear. He's in retirement now, but I'd never part with him unless a small person needed him more than I did. He had been someone else's bear before he was mine too.

My ds (12) would like to point out that a special toy is not ‘scruffy’ or ‘past its best’

The term is loved 😂

Do not take away your child's toy. I'm 27 and my DH is 29 we both still have our favourite toys (even if the 3 yr old has stolen them)

bemusedmoose. Are you me? 😂

Our Monkey got lost at a party a few years ago (kidnapped by Cinderella Monkey said) a whole bank holiday weekend without him... I was almost in tears myself. Jungly Monkey was discontinued!

We got him back on the Tuesday and the hug he got from ds was caught on camera. So cute

Monkey is there for everything, trips, holidays and he was one of the first things I grabbed to put in the hospital bag when ds was rushed to hospital- in fact judging by the mess I made of grabbing clothes and stuff in my shock and panic, Monkey was the most sensible item in that bag tbh

I managed to find a small version last year “Junior” so now Monkey has a little brother.

When ds went on a residential trip, Monkey and Junior made a video diary of all the places they came with me, cos it wasn’t fair that ds was having all the fun, they wanted an adventure too :)

Yes my oh thinks I’m crazy.

Don’t care... 🐵

Ignore dm. Let her love toy for as long as she needs. My sister had a teddy probably upto high school. I still have my doll in my attic somewhere-my dm kept it and gave it to me when she moved a few years ago. I'm 50! When she's ready she'll let go. Most normal

My brother got a very expensive teddy that was to be kept to be handed down. I have a Russ bear that my partner got me years ago. My partner has a teddy from child hood.it sits in the bedroom. My gran was a matron in a boarding school and had a massive paddington bear which was for all the grandchildren to play with .

I still have my special toy at the age of 25 and I’m not giving him up anytime soon! Tell your mother to mind her own

Ah such beautiful stories about much loved toys! DD (now 12) has a special bunny called Bunny (ahem), who is always somewhere on the bed if not actively cuddled much any more. She had her first period last week and it was a humdinger. She went to bed snuggling Bunny every night!

Another one posting to say "never!"

My teddy & I are both 42, and he has spent the past 3 days being hugged by a poorly DD. He was both of my older DCs "go to" teddy when they were poorly too. So much so, he is now known as Dr Teddy, rather than just teddy .