To ask what you buy for someone you hate

[SparkyFire]

Ok, hate might be a bit strong but I really dislike my OH's dad.

The problem is that my OH lives at 'home' still (bit of an unusual set up - my OH's dad has tonnes of land and my OH lives in a second house (alone) on that land (he pays rent to his dad), as that's where my OH's business is and the business isn't something that can be moved).

ANYWAY.

At first I could have a laugh (kind of, it was still that fake type of laughing) with his dad but it's gotten to the point I just think he's insufferable.

He treats OH's mum like crap most of the time, he's mean with his words, he doesn't care about any of his sons' emotional well-being (they're men, why would they ever feel sad? ) and he is constantly patronising me in terms of my financial situation (which is perfectly normal, I'm just not driving around in a different car every day like he does...) and every day choices. But of course, it's mostly all said in a joke voice so I can't take offence.

I generally try to spend as little time around him as possible but I told my OH I would spend Christmas with his family and now I'm wondering what the heck to buy his dad.

Any ideas?

An ornamental anchor. With the letter W engraved on the back of it. See if he notices. Then look if he does.

A Vaseline ‘gift set’ from tesco. Doesn’t get much more thoughtless and a waste of time than that. Oh- socks and gloves and a lynx set. What more could a man dream of?

Does he keep cows? Get him a jumper with a picture of a cute badger on it if so.

HAHAHAHA at the ornamental (w)anchor!

Save Nick Knowles for next year. It will be in the bargain bin by February.

Anything (cheap) from the firebox gifts for him selection www.firebox.com/gifts/gifts-for-him/t9?via=hp&t=feature&page=1
especially the ray gun nose hair trimmer or the edible anus chocolate

I always wanted to get sil this cup...

Or a heat changing mug that’s black when it’s cold but when her coffee I in it’s a picture of me with a massive grin - she hates me as much as I hate her!

Never laughed so much in a long time at these brilliant suggestions!

Tea towels and some rubber gloves.

The three socks idea is genius.

I also second TK Maxx - get some weird pretend designer socks from there plus they sell a (clearly made up) soap line called Pecksniffs which has pretensions way above its station.

I’ve been with DH for 15 years and always took over sending cards - gifts to his side on birthdays (they never had them before nor expected them so I was a fool to start it !)
His DF has always been useless and is a total narc and a Facebook keyboard warrior. We’ve had some run ins over the years as I guess I was the only person to call him out (DH and DSIL just take him at face value and don’t get wound up by him)
Anyway this year he’s been totally vile to me and we’ve argued on a few occasions in which he’s also made comments about my family . Decided getting wound up by his narcissistic nature was bad for my health and cut him off on social media and everything (more fool him as DH is not good at contact with anyone and I suspect I was his door to our family )
Anyway for the first time this year I didn’t even bother acknowledging his bday or reminding DH about it (not my responsibility) and I don’t intend to get him anything for Xmas either - in fact most years he forgets all bdays including his grandkids and in the past for Xmas has asked us to buy them something and he’d pay us back - he never did and a few years ago I thought why was I getting additional crap for my kids just so he could put his name to them but not actually think about what they’d like or go and purchase them himself ?
Anyway just my pennies worth !!

But actually reading all these perhaps it would be far more amusing to actually get him a gift - just a ridiculously shite one

Don't get him anything. Bring wine/chocolate for the family and just sign your name on whatever your OH gets for his dad. Or don't - you don't need to get him a present.

Good for you expat!

A tube of anusol for a bleedin’ arsehole.

Get something he'll hate but his wife will love. That way you're not just wasting money. So if he drinks gin and she drinks whiskey get him some posh whiskey.

Get him the Bletchley Park Puzzle Book and a tin of toffees.

When he opens it say, 'Thought it'd keep you quiet for an hour' in a jokey voice, of course..,

Get him a toilet mug as he spouts so much crap from his mouth 🤪
But put some sweeties in

I would honestly get him a book about something he’s interested in and a bottle of supermarket wine. That way he can’t moan about his wife getting more presents and with any luck she’ll get peace while he reads.

Lots of shot Christmas socks.
Supermarket version of what he likes to drink.
Cheap chocolates.
Then buy mil something she will love which fil won't benefit from.

Shit not shot.

Enbalming fluid.

Buy him some VIPOO!!!

This thread must go into Classics!!

Twinned toilet gets my vote.

A nose hair trimmer.

A tin of Christmas biscuits? Nobody can argue with a tin of M&S biscuits but minimal effort for you.