To ask what you buy for someone you hate

[SparkyFire]

Ok, hate might be a bit strong but I really dislike my OH's dad.

The problem is that my OH lives at 'home' still (bit of an unusual set up - my OH's dad has tonnes of land and my OH lives in a second house (alone) on that land (he pays rent to his dad), as that's where my OH's business is and the business isn't something that can be moved).

ANYWAY.

At first I could have a laugh (kind of, it was still that fake type of laughing) with his dad but it's gotten to the point I just think he's insufferable.

He treats OH's mum like crap most of the time, he's mean with his words, he doesn't care about any of his sons' emotional well-being (they're men, why would they ever feel sad? ) and he is constantly patronising me in terms of my financial situation (which is perfectly normal, I'm just not driving around in a different car every day like he does...) and every day choices. But of course, it's mostly all said in a joke voice so I can't take offence.

I generally try to spend as little time around him as possible but I told my OH I would spend Christmas with his family and now I'm wondering what the heck to buy his dad.

Any ideas?

A really awful garden gnome

"Not only unpleasant in itself, but carries the implication that his personal hygiene needs some work."

"Going by your description of him, how about a bottle of Brut aftershave? If he's going to act like a man stuck in the 1970s he might as well smell like one."

All of these replies are hilarious. I was a bit wary to post this thread but it's the best thing I've done all day.

I fully intend to get his mum multiple lovely gifts, as well as a bottle of wine because 1: She loves wine and 2: She needs all the help she can get

If I liked him just one jot, I'd buy him some expensive chocolates or alcohol, some socks by his favourite designer (which is what he said he wanted and needed) or a restaurant voucher for a nice local restaurant (which was my original plan) for him and his lwife

Whiffle Farming of sorts but don't want to say exactly as may be outing!

You need to ring my SIL, she's an expert.

In that case, what about some novelty socks and a box of milk tray?

Do a hamper, put the restaurant voucher in it, the lovely gifts for his wife (make sure they are all female orientated) and one or two clearly male things (men's socks from somewhere rubbish, crappy toiletries). Any alcohol she likes but he doesn't?

A vile Christmas jumper.

He’s got a sense of humour so get him a funny gift. How about some Dick soap.

www.amazon.com/gp/product/B075NVJSNQ/ref=ox_sc_act_title_6?smid=A1UC7EPQNR7LH4&psc=1&tag=mumsnetforum-21

I got my wicked stepmother some cow pj’s once and another time I got her the same gift two years running

Downton Abbey box set.
A pomander.
An unusable boot jack;
www.amazon.co.uk/Fallen-Fruits-Cast-Large-Snail/dp/B00I03XINA/ref=pd_bxgy_86_img_3/262-3164618-4645265?psc=1&_encoding=UTF8&tag=mumsnetforum-21&refRID=FFXYMHFNPB12C5P1VC48

So cheap chocolates , Supermarket own brand will do
Cheap Supermarket socks , the ones you only wear at Xmas, multi pack
Harvester or Toby Carvery gift voucher , based on what he wants/ your original plan x
My Step Sister used to every year get my Mum and her Dad a joint gift , usually a jumper for my dad ? so obs not to share

Recorders and drum kit for the 3yos next door.

My great aunt one gave my parents a hideous knee high cement windmill garden ornament. The thing weighed a tonne. She is lovely, just has terrible taste and is a bit mad.

My sil once gave me and dh (her brother) a minions calendar for that year. Not only have we literally never expressed even the slightest interest in minions, the calendar had less than a week of actual usefulness. She is not lovely, but dh still defends her bless him.

A bottle of a spirit that you know he hates, and a bottle of Poo Pourri.

How about some washing up sponges in the shape of Christmas trees?

This actually happened to me. I didn't know what to say.

If I liked him just one jot, I'd buy him some expensive chocolates or alcohol, some socks by his favourite designer (which is what he said he wanted and needed) or a restaurant voucher for a nice local restaurant (which was my original plan) for him and his lwife

In that case get Hershey's chocolates, a bottle of Lambrini and hideous beige socks.

What about some of those emoji 💩 slippers ?

Or an emoji 💩 hat (shit head)

DH's grandmother once sent him a free promotional diary from a dogs home (his birthday is in August too), with a lovely handwritten note in the front, as if she didn't just get it for free. Oh, and an XXXL t shirt (he's S/M)

Oh and one year, his mum bought his a tshirt that was an image of Freud's face made up of a man going down on a lady. He was already mid 30s and married. I can't even with that one.

It's got to be a Nick Knowles Album !

Name a donkey after him, and jokingly tell him it's for charity!

A biography of Isambard Kingdom
Brunel is the perfect gift for anyone who needs to learn how to build a bridge and get over themselves.

I can't stop laughing at this:

"Harvester or Toby Carvery gift voucher"

He scoffs at having to have a jacket potato for dinner.

socks

Season ticket for the rivals of whatever team he supports?
(Celtic if he likes Rangers. Rangers if he likes Celtic etc).

I like the idea of an calendar that will be out of date in a week. You can say 'I was so delighted to find it on sale!'