To ask what you buy for someone you hate

[SparkyFire]

Ok, hate might be a bit strong but I really dislike my OH's dad.

The problem is that my OH lives at 'home' still (bit of an unusual set up - my OH's dad has tonnes of land and my OH lives in a second house (alone) on that land (he pays rent to his dad), as that's where my OH's business is and the business isn't something that can be moved).

ANYWAY.

At first I could have a laugh (kind of, it was still that fake type of laughing) with his dad but it's gotten to the point I just think he's insufferable.

He treats OH's mum like crap most of the time, he's mean with his words, he doesn't care about any of his sons' emotional well-being (they're men, why would they ever feel sad? ) and he is constantly patronising me in terms of my financial situation (which is perfectly normal, I'm just not driving around in a different car every day like he does...) and every day choices. But of course, it's mostly all said in a joke voice so I can't take offence.

I generally try to spend as little time around him as possible but I told my OH I would spend Christmas with his family and now I'm wondering what the heck to buy his dad.

Any ideas?

Go to Poundland and get him a pack of walnut whips and a pair of novelty Christmas socks

The out of date chocs is a good idea PuppyMonkey, I would go even further and suggest that if the OP doesn't have a suitable box to hand that she should buy an in-date box of chocs and save them up for Christmas in four or five years time.

Katie Price's autobiography
Brooklyn Beckham's photography book
Hai Karate
A pair of slippers two sizes too small
And a box of Ferrero Rocher

Actually I've just seen the suggestion by someone to get MIL and FIL tickets to something she will love and he will hate 😂

I love the passive aggressive wall plaque idea. " you can choose your friends but you can't choose your family"?

Ooh yes, out of date chocolates! My sister gave me seriously out of date chocolate Christmas tree decorations for my birthday one year. My birthday is nowhere near Christmas. She loves me so much!

My FIL is like that. Last year I got him a mug with socks in it.

Brooklyn Beckham's photography book

One of these novelty chocolate spanners, because he’s a complete fucking tool.

A plastic turd and some pile ointment

Itching powder.

Nothing. OH can buy whatever he thinks is the best option/idea etc.

You know all that land he's got? He'll need something to decorate it:

www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Garden-Gnome-Stabbed-Break-Resistant-PVC/132025496894?hash=item1ebd55353e:g:CnIAAOSwj85YReWC

Make him a nice pie with dog food and bottle of cheap plonk

Nick Knowles album deffo and one of those little calendars with an ‘inspiring quotation’ each day.

Like ‘send love out into the world and you will be repaid twofold’

They aren't buffalo farmers are they? If so get him some buffalo mozzarella preferably from a rival. If not go with tickets for something mil would absolutely love and he would hate with a look of wide eyed innocence

OP, I completely understand. I have a similar FIL. Vile to everyone, particularly his wife. Completely self absorbed and coun't give less of a shit about everybody's feelings, but expects the ground he walls on to be worshipped. .

However, I would suggest you try and take a bit of a step back. If you have not done Christmas with them before you may be in for a bit of a shock. Vile people like this are especially vile at Christmas.

My FIL will express horror, disgust and disappointment and make an almighty fuss if presents (including ones that aren't even for him!) are not to his liking.

I would suggest you just go for emotionally disengaged. Pick up a bottle of wine on your weekly shop, and think no more of it. Or better yet, don't set a precedent by just not getting him anything. Are you sure he will get you something after all?

And good luck with Christmas. You may need it.

Disclaimer: I have gone to great financial and practical lengths to source some Tracy Emin Christmas cards, as my FIL hates all women artists and her, in particular.

How about Chicken Soup for the Soul? I tried reading it and couldn't. It's full of cheesy, sentimental crap.

Lottery tickets

You can have his toilet twinned ..he'd get a certificate to hang in his toilet...and I think you get a picture of the twinned toilet..nice!
toilet twinning but at £60 you'd have to really hate him a lot

Naked Gardeners calendar. Or Naked Firefighters. Must be of men.

It's for a good cause don't you know.

Haha naked calendars !

My dad was once given a pack of three socks by a notoriously passive-aggressive-gift-giving relative. We were never sure if the spare was in case he lost a sock or grew an extra foot. You could do that. Or maybe two left driving gloves?

Get yourself down to TKMaxx and put together a lovely hamper for him from all the dodgy odd food things they sell. I did that once for someone I wasn't too keen on. They got a completely huge present from me, which was obviously disproportionate to our friendship, such as it was. It barely cost me a bean. And every single thing was scary or vile. It was the best present I have ever given anyone.

Sounds like my x fil. Glad he is ex. So emotionally and mentally draining. He got a tshirts or a jumper every year. Ex mil got a fab present -voucher for one for afternoon tea somewhere ice for example ole and dc ga e me the same so she had to go without the arse. She loved it.