To ask what you buy for someone you hate

[SparkyFire]

Ok, hate might be a bit strong but I really dislike my OH's dad.

The problem is that my OH lives at 'home' still (bit of an unusual set up - my OH's dad has tonnes of land and my OH lives in a second house (alone) on that land (he pays rent to his dad), as that's where my OH's business is and the business isn't something that can be moved).

ANYWAY.

At first I could have a laugh (kind of, it was still that fake type of laughing) with his dad but it's gotten to the point I just think he's insufferable.

He treats OH's mum like crap most of the time, he's mean with his words, he doesn't care about any of his sons' emotional well-being (they're men, why would they ever feel sad? ) and he is constantly patronising me in terms of my financial situation (which is perfectly normal, I'm just not driving around in a different car every day like he does...) and every day choices. But of course, it's mostly all said in a joke voice so I can't take offence.

I generally try to spend as little time around him as possible but I told my OH I would spend Christmas with his family and now I'm wondering what the heck to buy his dad.

Any ideas?

Buy him a beautiful expensive box of chocolates. Make big fuss that they're especially chosen for him.

Then, before Christmas, open them, lick each one, replace in the box and present them to him with a beatific smile.

I have form for this sort of thing.

What about a ‘joint’ present between him and nice mother in law of something she would like and he would absolutely hate. Something like 2 tickets to the opera/ballet/peter andre? That way you’ve got a gift which he will not only dislike but will also be under an obligation to go to. Plus you can bring it up at moments when he is being annoying ‘how did you like the Peter Andre concert FIL?’.

Something, ahem, for the weekend?

A domestic appliance. Think iron, or bread maker.

I once got given a duster with a Hyundai Coupe embroidered on it. I have never owned a Hyundai Coupe. You may be able to Google or Ebay "Dusters with cars on" and find out where it came from?

A c*nt mug www.findmeagift.co.uk/gifts/c-unt-mug.html?gclid=EAIaIQobChMIl4uum97X1wIVDrcbCh11hQ29EAQYAyABEgKy5vD_BwE ?

anton du beke's CD

car air freshener

novelty toilet paper

Any celeb cook Book - especially a bake off winner 🎉

www.amazon.co.uk/EXPRESS-TRADING-MICROWAVE-REUSABLE-WASHABLE/dp/B00J045QAQ/ref=sr_1_18_sspa?psc=1&keywords=jacket+potato&tag=mumsnetforum-21&ie=UTF8&qid=1511545251&sr=8-18-spons A jacket potato bag or a jacket potato spike?

Me and my dad's wife used to hate each other, one year she bought me Aldi bubble bath. Cheers Love.
Another Christmas we had baby wipes wrapped up amongst other shite. I actually nearly died laughing when I opened them.

A Nickelback CD nobody can hate another person that much surely? 😀

My brother came round for lunch the other week and brought a nice box of Heroes chocolates. When we opened them the chocolate eclairs tasted rank and s few of the others were odd too. Checked the Best Before date and it said April 2015.

So, have you perhaps any out of date food you could gift?

Or a bottle of whiskey filled with wee?

Other than that Nick Knowles wins I think.

A hamper of everything that will bring an early demise... loads of chocolate, some ovenproof rum, sugar,carbs,fat in overload ... deliver with a very saccharine smile

Overproof not ovenproof

How about a ball of string? Very useful, a ball of string. I say this as someone who has a family member who once got given a beautifully wrapped one for Christmas with the words "We wanted to get you something useful". Wasn't even one of those fancy "Gardeners Gifts" ones in a tin.

I bought my abusive mother garden centre vouchers and she used it to buy manure. How did she know?!!!
The oxfam pile of poo is a winner for me!

I've just remembered in the film 'The Help' a woman makes a poo pie, for a mean woman who then eats it. Do that!

Tesco value sherry, a pair of womens socks 2 sizes too small and a framed photo of Donald Trump.

Another vote for the Nick Knowles album.

Or a really cheap, nasty bottle of wine and act like you've just discovered it, it's your absolute favourite and you think it's dead posh.

But seriously... how about nothing. If your DH is bothered then he can get his dad something from the both of you but if I were you I wouldn't bother

How about a Nandos voucher and supermarket socks? 😁

Oxfam toilet

A passive aggressive painted wooden sign? Something that sounds ‘inspirational’ but has a hidden message. (Lucky recipient of a sign saying ‘a tidy house is the sign of a wasted life’.... bought for me by my cleaner!!)

You mentioned some form of farming... If he considers himself to be a “landed” land/estate owner type get him a subscription to Farmers Weekly. Looks thoughtful but he’ll almost certainly think he’s more a Farmers Guardian reader. Alternatively, Hersey’s chocolate. Or really cheap wine with a nice looking label.

My mum bought my fiancé a bottle of Josh aftershave from Poundland (she did get him other better presents as well!). Get him that.