To have let rip at the school?

[MajorMam]

DS's (age 15) school just rang me telling that DS had taken an axe to school.

It was actually a polystyrene scythe Halloween prop. He shouldn't have taken it if course.

Aibu to think the Head of Year should have checked whether it was an actual axe before she rang me. I lost it a bit because since DS has started there (this September), they have been constantly ringing me about the most minor of behaviour infractions.

DS has SN with associated behaviour issues (not violence) and this is an SN school who were aware of his behaviour before he started BTW.

What? That's ridiculous-what does it matter whether he took a prop to school or not? I would have given the school a real dressing down.

When you say 'let rip' what did you actually say?

The only reasonable reaction when some po-faced plonker rings you to complain about an 'axe' which is actually a polystyrene costume scythe is to laugh.

If you've done anything else then you were BU.

I told them I was getting extremely pissed off about their hysterical OTT response to his behaviour.

He has started self harming since he's been there as they are constantly telling him off.

I assume the fact its fake and he has SEN means you only get a phone call rather than a call to collect him. Schools are generally zero tolerance for fake weapons If someone threatened him with what turned out to be a fake knife, or gun, wouldn't you want that taken seriously.

Surely they would have done more than rung you if they hadn’t known it was a fake axe!

If a student brings an actual weapon into a school, they wouldn’t just ring you for a chat about it. I think they knew it wasn’t real.

If they thought it was a real axe they would have called the police.
HTH.

It doesn’t sound like any of the great SN schools I’ve had dealings with.

That wouldn’t have warranted anymore than a comment in the Home-School book of any of them, along the lines of ‘DS brought his Halloween prop scythe into school today, causing a bit of commotion. We’ve explained why it isn’t suitable, it would be appreciated if you could do the same (and pat him down before leaving the house 🤣)’.

I’d be looking to see if I could find another school. It’s not easy I know, but it would be worth it if you could.

They rang you because they knew it was fake and you're not allowed to take fake weapons to school.

I think you need a support meeting if he's struggling and self harming.

The exact words used were 'x has brought axe into school'. Then the teacher said he hadn't actually seen what it was.

Couldn't really make it up could I .

Yes I am one of 'those' parents. I have had to become one unfortunately.

I hope you don’t have any polystyrene grenades lying around at home, OP...

How realistic looking was this axe?

Did he frighten other pupils?

Unfortunately as he has moved from mainstream, there are no other schools for him locally. I am desperate to take him out of the school but have been advised not to as the LEA will wash their hands of him. His behaviour has deteriorated massively sine he moved there, a school which should have experience of dealing with SN behaviours.

I’m surprised you didn’t notice he took it. I’m assuming you mean a life sized one.

Time for a sit down with the School, surely? Your ds is suffering.

It sounds like they hadn't actually seen it and were going on the word of other students that he had an axe and weren't sure if it might be real or not. Probably phoned you to see whether you thought it might be real. In which case you are very lucky they didn't just phone the police instead. I would have expected the school to and in fact would be a bit disturbed that they didn't if other pupils said someone had an axe.

I would be asking questions about why he took it in (I know school have only just rang).

Was it to someone else?

*SHOW someone else.

I am going to contact the LEA transport team now so they can check with the escorts what happened on the bus which is where he took it out apparently. I can't rely on what the school say as they have form for saying DS has done stuff and then a 3rd party (not DS) telling me that it didn't happen like that at all.

He was playing with it this morning. Cat chasing it as he trailed it round the house. It is not realistic at all. He must have bent it up in his bag as it is very long. I told him to put it away as he took a plain skeleton mask in a few weeks ago, described by school as horrific , which other kids willingly tried on and were laughing about, but which I was informed he was deliberately scaring those same children with.

You're being very vague OP, what other behaviour has the school phoned you about?

Well, I agree that sounds a bit of an odd reaction from them: I agree that I'd be assuming they knew it was fake (did they not say one way or another?) - but personally, I actually would expect a call I think if my son took a fake weapon into school (he has some SN but is in mainstream). IN fact, I suspect the response would be an immediate pick up at ds's school - this is the sort of thing they wouldn't see as a prank tbh. What response would you expect: I'm wondering what you think would be a proportional response....

I do like the idea of AnnieAnonimouse's home school book, but that sounds like a small school response and I'm assuming your ds is in a larger school environment?

Agree with others that it sounds like time to suggest a sit down with the school to discuss how they manage his behaviour, the impact that this is having on him and how to go forwards.

Wow - being drama types my kids have taken all sorts of props into school on various occasions.

A polystyrene axe on the bus seems a bit daft (I can understand if he was waving it round in class causing a distraction.)

Had a several sit downs with school. They admit they can't meet his needs and have informed LEA.

Not being vague at all. Behaviours are hiding in toilets, playing with sticks in play ground, looking at inappropriate stuff on internet in lessons, saying inappropriate stuff to other kids - which they were aware of before he started as all part of his SN and long history of in mainstream.