To have let rip at the school?

[MajorMam]

DS's (age 15) school just rang me telling that DS had taken an axe to school.

It was actually a polystyrene scythe Halloween prop. He shouldn't have taken it if course.

Aibu to think the Head of Year should have checked whether it was an actual axe before she rang me. I lost it a bit because since DS has started there (this September), they have been constantly ringing me about the most minor of behaviour infractions.

DS has SN with associated behaviour issues (not violence) and this is an SN school who were aware of his behaviour before he started BTW.

Why did you let him take such a thing to school?

You say the school should be supervising what he does on the internet, well maybe you should supervise what he puts in his bag to take to school...

PPs seem to be missing the fact that Op's ds took out this 'very long' fake scythe on the school bus. It doesn't take much imagination to see that waving it around in a confined space would have caused more than a little disturbance. I'm glad I wasn't the driver.

The fact that it's an SN school doesn't mean they should be more lenient about such behaviour and are over-reacting. It means it will have a bigger effect on already disturbed pupils.

What do you think the school should have done, Op?

Thank god I'm not alone dafspunk!

OP is there any chance of a picture of the axe? Might help to determine whether the school was being OTT.

Is it this sort of foam axe?

I do have a friend who got absolutely mullered and was showing off his great grandfather's ww1 sword. He was so drunk that he forgot he was holding it when he went to the petrol station for cigs.

He had fun explaining THAT to the police.

Can you put EOTAS in section I on his EHCP and remove him?

One of ds's friends ( year 10 ) came in recently in a Bin Laden mask

I misread that as 10 years old and wondered for ages WHERE a ten year old would get that from!

If you call an early review I’d guess you’d get it because it’ll be cheaper than his current placement but still doesn’t absolve the LA of their 0-25 responsibility.

Nohing like that Beautiful. It's a approximately 5ft long handled scythe (all black and obviously made of foam) that came with a Grim Reaper Halloween costume. Not lifelike at all. He was able to squash it up in his bag.

So check his bag. You seem to be blaming the school for contacting you whilst excusing all the inappropriate stuff.

You do realise that the point of a SEND school isn't to say 'oh all those behaviours that you weren't allowed in mainstream are all now ok'. It's a different environment and different approach to education but it doesn't mean they'll accept students being inappropriate to each other or browsing the internet in class.

I'm sure OP realises precisely that. But the point of a special school is that, if they agree to accept a child with SN, it is on the footing that they claim to be able to meet those SN. That means that they should be able to avert and/or deal with behavioural incidents without rushing to complain to the parents every time. They get paid rather a lot of money to take on specialist staff and have staff:pupil ratios that enable them to achieve that.

It always amuses me when people - particularly teachers - think that parents should cringe in fear of being known as "that parent". Since when did we become so subservient? The child's interests have to come before courting popularity with school staff, particularly when said staff aren't doing their jobs.

How could 'said staff not doing their jobs' have prevented Op's ds from waving a 5ft scythe around and causing havoc on the school bus??? Surely it's Op's job as a parent to check what her ds is taking to school?

The boy is lucky he's not in the US. School would have called the cops, (some of) who(m) shoot first and ask questions.

He's 15 so probably takes himself off to the school bus in the morning! Most parents won't be checking bags of secondary school kids every day to ensure there's nothing in them contravening school rules, though OP may start if she's around in the mornings and not gone to work or taken other kids to school or whatever.

Does OPson understand rules about not scaring people or might that be part of his SN?

If the school were given info about her ds before he moved there but staff haven't read it, then she's entitled to be furious, but also at her son if he should have known not to take a 5 foot pole to school.

LEA transport department have had no reports of incidents, reported by the driver or escort, on his bus despite school saying last week that they would be informing them themselves of incidents they have been made aware of. The bus operator is apparently quick at notifying them.

I am not expecting behaviour to go unpunished (thank you Ceto). I am getting calls most day though and they are raising 'concerns' that even his mainstream school were able to deal with. Mainstream school was a huge academy. Special school is tiny.

His behaviour has deteriorated massively sine he moved there, a school which should have experience of dealing with SN behaviours

This means you acknowledge that his behaviours can be worsened and improved and are not behaviours which anyone has to merely accept because of SEN. That's a good starting point.

So, given this and his poor behaviour at school, why do you object to the school contacting you about this poor behaviour? What do you do as his parent to deal with his poor behaviour?

Taking an axe of any description to school, is of course totally unacceptable, which you acknowledge in your post OP. Why then did you "let rip" at the school who had told your son off and called you for doing something which you yourself have acknowledged you know is wrong? Why didn't you support the school in their methods to deal with his poor behaviour?

Yes I saw him playing with the foam toy. I told him to put it back in the cupboard and checked he hadn't taken it outside the front door. Didn't expect him to have scrunched it up in his bag. Dealing with younger DC too. Needless to say his bag will be checked in future!

How could 'said staff not doing their jobs' have prevented Op's ds from waving a 5ft scythe around and causing havoc on the school bus?

Just a bit of exaggeration there. It isn't a 5 ft scythe, it's a 5' piece of polystyrene which was probably not 5' or anything resembling a scythe once it had been bent and forced into a school bag, and there appears to be no suggestion that he caused havoc.

The point is that if his needs are properly met then he learns not to indulge in stupid behaviour.

I think reporting it to me as an 'axe' was antagonising to say the least. It seems that none of the staff had seen it. They were taking the word of another SN child on the bus when no behaviour incidents had been reported.

If you can't see whats wrong with that FlowerPot* well .

MajorMam

It seems that none of the staff had seen it. They were taking the word of another SN child on the bus when no behaviour incidents had been reported.

So are you saying the teacher's made a mistake because they took the word of another child? So your child didn't go to school with a toy axe? I don't get it - I thought you said he did and you knew it was wrong - in which case why does it matter if they saw it or not, they were right, he did take it and you and the teachers both agree it's wrong?

They were taking the word of another SN child on the bus when no behaviour incidents had been reported.

I can see why they would react like that.

Teachers are probably still a bit skittish about the fact that boy who murdered the teacher in Leeds had broadcast far and wide his intentions and the fact that he had a concealed weapon in his school bag on the day of the murder. And yet none of the other students said anything.

Has the reason why your son took the item into school been revealed?

They were taking the word of another SN child on the bus when no behaviour incidents had been reported.

Who quite possibly, given they also have SNs, could have taken it literally and assumed it was something real?