In not wanting to be a feminist

[tireddotcom72]

I know I’m not alone as have had this conversation with friends but does anyone else feel PC stuff is just going too far now. The gender stuff is confusing me - I’m female always have been always will be and perfectly happy that way I don’t want to identify whatever that means with anything else and change my mind or whatever the gender fluid thing is ( that really confuses me) I’m mum to a daughter - who when younger was a pink, princess, Barbie loving frilly dress wearing child. I loved her wearing pretty dresses and wanting pretty hair. I’ve always worked in female dominated jobs - through choice no one forced me from being little I wanted to be cabin crew, my parents would have preferred me to be a solicitor, accountant or doctor like my siblings but supported my decision to go into the beauty industry because that’s what I was happy doing.
When I was younger I was whistled at in the street, had my bum pinched in nightclubs etc I wasn’t offended or outraged.

I don’t want to live in a genderless world, I don’t want my teenage daughter being in gender neutral changing rooms, I don’t even like being referred to as someone’s partner I’m quite happy being called his girlfriend.

I don’t want to offend anyone with my probably old fashioned views - I’m not even old! But I’m getting fed up of constantly hearing and reading about what I should think and believe, i mean the latest fuss about Sleeping beauty ..... what will pc brigade want to ban next?

She is not arguing feminist principles

Feminist /= man hating. I find that misunderstanding really quite astonishing.

Originaloofgirl have you read the op? She is paid the same

Yep. Because, feminism.

My question was would she be happy not to be.

OP, you say of course men and women are equal we are all human beings

The dictionary definition of feminism is The advocacy of women's rights on the ground of the equality of the sexes

Doesn’t that make you a feminist? If you’d said that 100 years ago, or even 50 years ago you would have been labelled a radical feminist- yet due to women and men speaking up & fighting for equality your opinion is normalised, and rightly so.

There are some militant man hating women who call themselves feminists & IMO damage the cause & clearly put people off/create misunderstanding- but who are the equivalent of extremists in any group.

The equal pay you say you’ve always had, that’s down to feminists, being able to get your own mortgage, vote, birth control outside marriage, your legal right to be equal to a man - all of it feminists.

Clearly wearing pink doesn’t stop you wanting to have multiple careers (airline hostess, beauty therapist, graduate primary teacher..) - do you think you’d have any of that without feminism & equal rights? You can be a feminist without hating men, without blaming everything on the patriarchy and whilst believing we are all equal - that is rather the point of it!

assasinated I think you are oversimplifying ops point somewhat

Op, you mean political correctness, thats what you have an issue with. Not feminism.

And no I wouldn’t have you any where near my kid with all your loving pretty hair and pretty dresses and thinking the right to wear them and enjoying doing so is not feminist.

Please educate yourself. For your childs sake if nothing else.

YADNBU in the slightest. Some of the threads on here today have opened my eyes (cis woman being a woman - no, that'd be a woman then, fk off telling me what I should be called)

Being female does not mean liking pink or frills

You're shouted down if you are a girl who likes pink and Barbies etc though. Have a search on here for posts where people don't like their little girls playing with Barbie, refuse to let them wear pink etc. There's loads.
Why should they told what they should and shouldn't like, what they should and shouldn't be thinking?

I'm embarrassed for every woman on this thread who is proud to declare that they're not a feminist

Genuine question, why do you think only 7% of UK women consider themselves feminist?

@ifyoucantstandtheheat I wasn't replying directly to the OPs post. I was referencing some of the comments made by subsequent posters who have said exactly that.

Feminist /= man hating. I find that misunderstanding really quite astonishing.

So why do I see so many posts on here saying
"men are rapists and violent"
"all men cheat"
"shut up and stop mansplaining" whenever a man comments literally anything in any thread
"if men were SAHDs they'd sit in front of CBeebies all day and the house would be a tip"
"men think all women are idiots"

I just find it a bit embarrassing and don't want to be associated with that.

@PanGalaticGargleBlaster I'm wondering what you think about that? Feminism is aggressively denigrated by a variety of people with different motives, and this seems to have been very successful. I find the vitriol and disgust thrown at feminism to be baffling.

@YoloSwaggins those look like direct quotes from threads. Have you genuinely seen those actual quoted phrases used by feminists on threads here?

I’m so saddened by the lack of understanding of feminising on here, the lack of desire to even google it.

Every post the op screams she’s a feminist, from her equal pay stance to her right to dress as She pleases. For her right to react as she wishes to getting groped. She wants her child to believe she can be anything she wishes, she’s as feminist as they get.

Sadly she’s simply ignorant of the definition.and instead of educating herself has chosen to rant.

What is it they say? Better to stay quiet and be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and prove it.

I’m very priveledged in that I can vote, I can own property, I have bodily autonomy, all thanks to feminists of the past fighting long and hard for me.
There’s millions of women and girls around the world who still can’t vote, who can’t own anything, who are the property of males, who are refused education, who are legally raped by their husbands, who have their genitals mutilated, who are treat as slaves.

Anything that has taken a long time to win, can also be quickly lost.

You're muddling up different viewpoints there yolo. Feminists are the ones more likely to argue against lazy stereotyping like "men don't see dirt" (for eg).
And I've never seen anyone say all men are rapists, just that 98% of sexual offences are committed by men. Is that just a coincidence?

Can posters please just answer this question:

Are you a feminist and are you pro trans rights?

I am not a feminist but I am anti trans-rights.

Rights in general, or the current rights activist movement ?

assasinated in your response to pangalactic I 100% see where you are coming from but I also see where some things on mumsnet said in the name of feminism do not reflect my ‘femimism’ And believe me I am feminist (although much more moderate than some mn feminists) and I think that is the point the op and some other posters are making

Genuine question, why do you think only 7% of UK women consider themselves feminist?

I think a worrying number of women, and men, do not understand what feminism actually is, and lack the capacity to think beyond the 'Millie Tant' stereotype. It's far easier not to think about what feminism has contributed to current society and our experiences as women within that society.

Thinking is hard work, who can be bothered with that? Ooooh, look, the Kardashians!

You don’t have to label as anything, but if you feel women deserve to be paid as much as men and should have control over their own bodies, lives etc then they’re feminist principles.

This is very odd thinking. I'm an atheist (insert other example of your own if you prefer) - if someone else who says they're an atheist says something I disagree with in an online debate, I would discuss that with them and perhaps point out I disagree. At no point would I think that I now couldn't or didn't want to be an atheist because of what they said.

Yabu & I really hope that all the more eloquent PPs here have explained enough to make you want to retract that statement.

Certainly the current gender issues are confusing & frustrating-it’s pretty much new territory that’s trying to be mapped out but that’s even more reason to be involved, even in a small way like reading the boards on here & helping inform your own opinion.

There’s a wealth of knowledge on here & I’m very glad to continue to be enlightened on current feminist issues on these boards, which in turn help me challenge the status quo IRL

Who says 7% of UK women consider themselves a feminist?

Curious though OP, are you ok with marital rape, being paid less than men, being told what to wear and how to act, not leaving the house without permission from men of the house? Or is that just politixsl correctness?

But atheist has a concrete meaning it means you absolutely do not believe in god or a divinity. I don’t think it’s a realistic comparison to a term for something which is not concrete and therefore can legitimately mean a different thing to different people (albeit to both within the premise of promoting women’s rights)