In not wanting to be a feminist

[tireddotcom72]

I know I’m not alone as have had this conversation with friends but does anyone else feel PC stuff is just going too far now. The gender stuff is confusing me - I’m female always have been always will be and perfectly happy that way I don’t want to identify whatever that means with anything else and change my mind or whatever the gender fluid thing is ( that really confuses me) I’m mum to a daughter - who when younger was a pink, princess, Barbie loving frilly dress wearing child. I loved her wearing pretty dresses and wanting pretty hair. I’ve always worked in female dominated jobs - through choice no one forced me from being little I wanted to be cabin crew, my parents would have preferred me to be a solicitor, accountant or doctor like my siblings but supported my decision to go into the beauty industry because that’s what I was happy doing.
When I was younger I was whistled at in the street, had my bum pinched in nightclubs etc I wasn’t offended or outraged.

I don’t want to live in a genderless world, I don’t want my teenage daughter being in gender neutral changing rooms, I don’t even like being referred to as someone’s partner I’m quite happy being called his girlfriend.

I don’t want to offend anyone with my probably old fashioned views - I’m not even old! But I’m getting fed up of constantly hearing and reading about what I should think and believe, i mean the latest fuss about Sleeping beauty ..... what will pc brigade want to ban next?

Just to clarify when I said 'why should there be a trans facility' what I meant was why should businesses have to go to the expense of providing a trans facility and surely even if they did doesn't that say 'you are different' because you are trans and isn't that fairly discriminatory?

I think there is a confusion here - the OP feels that a feminist would see her life choices as unacceptable. That is not the situation.

Being a feminist means that you believe that women should have the same chances as men, and this includes having the freedom to make our own choices.

If you had a DD who liked wearing pink sparkly stuff then that is fine - as long as you would have also supported her choice to wear jeans and sweatshirt if that had been her choice.

Feminism has nothing to do with the current gender debate.

Why should there be a 'trans' facility and why should trans people go in an area they don't identify with?

It is unfortunate that trans people are not the sex they wish to be (though the 'born in the wrong body' narrative is deeply transphobic now apparently). But they are not. And since areas are segregated by sex, they either need to go into the areas thats for their sex, or campaign for separate areas.

Maybe we need to start labeling changing areas 'penises' and 'vulvas' or something. I don't think having pictures of someone in a dress on the ladies helped anyone tbh.

Transwomen have used female toilets and changing rooms for years @ifyoucantstandtheheat and it has never been a problem.

The problem is is that this new law (if it goes through) will allow anyone to change their gender simply by filling out a form or declaring themselves to be the opposite sex and this will be both harmful to both women and transwomen alike. Think about it now; if the men's toilets are too dangerous for transwomen to use so they have to use the women's, why on earth would anyone think a law that would allow any bloke to self identify as a woman is a good idea? There would be nothing stopping a violent bloke from declaring himself a woman and assaulting a transwoman in the female toilets instead and (as mentioned above) if said transwoman objected to him being there, it would be the transwoman in the wrong.

There is both a transwoman and the parents of a trans child who post here quite regularly about how damaging and harmful current trans idealogy is and what a nightmare it will be if this law goes through.

surely even if they did doesn't that say 'you are different' because you are trans and isn't that fairly discriminatory?

Well..they are different as they are trans? Transwomen have different needs to women, and transmen have different needs to men. I don't see what the issue is with pointing this out. Males and females are different. I think everyone knows this and it should not be a shock?

If a transwoman does not want to use the male areas like the rest of the male population, the solution is not for them to use the female one instead, as this defeats the point of sex segregation in the first place.

I see the BS about women committing lots of sexual assaults is getting dragged up again.
I happen to know rather well someone who lead a specialist prosecution unit for rape and serious sexual assault for a number of years. He can tell you how many women he prosecuted. None. Perhaps you’ll believe that, as it’s a man telling you.

But Goals, then they are being discriminated against. Their rights are no less relevant than women's rights.

And the risk really is very small, isn't it? I don't really think sex predators are going to use the I'm a trans excuse to attack women in shops.

Transwomen have used female toilets and changing rooms for years @ifyoucantstandtheheat and it has never been a problem.

Also this too. Never was an issue until transactivists started yelling about how biology is made up and males actually are women, and their penises are female, and so on.

But Goals, then they are being discriminated against. Their rights are no less relevant than women's rights.

How is it being discriminated against, to be treat like the other males?! They ARE male. (or female in the case of transmen, who do not go around yelling about how they actually are exactly the same as a man)

goals really? Are you saying you are always the sex you were born with then. What about after a sex change or after a transition. How do you police this? The female to male trans person I know does still look quite female I would imagine he's had surgery to construct a penis. Where should he change?

It's amazing how many people like to ignore that fact when this topic comes up @TheGoalIsToStayOutOfTheHole. The fact is is that transwomen using female facilities and transmen using male facilities is not a new thing; it has happened for years.

Why don't people who like to accuse us of being bigots have a think about why it's suddenly become a problem now?

"Are you saying you are always the sex you were born with then"

I'll answer this one...

Yes.

It seems to me that the idea of transwomen being a "risk" is a bit of a smokescreen. As is the "bathroom debate" They always seem to come up whenever people raise other issues- crime statistics, lesbians rights, sports to name but 3 . Try to talk abou any of those and before you know it you're talking about bathrooms again. It's like of those maze things where you keep ending up back at the beginning.

It is, now and for the foreseeable future, physically impossible to change your sex.

I'm not accusing anyone of being a bigot I'm genuinely interested.

If you are suggesting that it is the influx of 'gender fluidity' then I see the point however why should trans people suffer because of this?

The female to male trans person I know does still look quite female I would imagine he's had surgery to construct a penis. Where should he change?

IME transmen who don't pass still tend to use female facilities due to feeling unsafe or uncomfortable in the male facilities. Transmen who pass use the male facilities.

Again (and I'm getting sick of typing this), transwomen have been using female facilities for years and similarly transmen have been using male facilities. It's not a new magical right they have suddenly gained.

So beyond , the person I know who is accepted as male in the highschool and has possibly had some kind of surgery to construct a penis should change in the women's changing room?

Bertrand I agree it's a smokescreen.

"Are you saying you are always the sex you were born with then"

Yes. Can you change race if you want to? Can you become white? Or black? No. And if you tried to pull that crap you’d be roundly denounced.

Can you change sex? No. It’s biologically and physically impossible. unless you’re a snail.

You can certainly rail against the crap stereotypes society puts on different genders, and if anyone is just doing that I’ll stand with them. But I will vigorously oppose any of this ciswomen crap, or the erosion of women’s rights/sports/safe spaces.

the person I know who is accepted as male in the highschool and has possibly had some kind of surgery to construct a penis should change in the women's changing room?

If he passes as a man then he should use the male changing rooms. If he doesn't pass then it's up to him which one he uses.

Anatidae I'm quite shocked that you think that feminism trumps a right protected by law (to change sex).

What are you scared of specifically?

IME transmen who don't pass still tend to use female facilities due to feeling unsafe or uncomfortable in the male facilities. Transmen who pass use the male facilities.

Yup.

Again (and I'm getting sick of typing this), transwomen have been using female facilities for years and similarly transmen have been using male facilities. It's not a new magical right they have suddenly gained.

And yup. Its not actual transsexual people that these proposed law changes will benefit. These people have largely been accepted for years. The pushback is against rabid transactivists who are just being ridiculous and seem to be supported by people who think this is about the rights of transsexuals, when its not. Transsexual people (those with sex dysphoria) can already get a GRC. The proposed changes make it literally as easy as filling out a form. Which will be abused to a ridiculous degree and anyone who thinks otherwise is kidding themselves.

Are you saying you are always the sex you were born with then.

This is exactly what I am saying. You can have surgeries and such to mimic the opposite sex to some degree, but you cannot change sex.

If the law says you can change sex then parliament has legislated the impossible. Sex is determined by your chromosomes and cannot be altered. GCSE biology. No, pre gcse in fact.

You cannot change sex. You can have surgery and take hormones to take on an appearance more like the opposite sex. You cannot change sex.

Do you think you can change race?

Afraid? No I’m not afraid. I’m angry. I’m annoyed. Bogs are the least of my peeves. There’s a man just entered the NZ ladies weightlifting team. That’s the end of female sport - is that not something to be pissed off about?
Up to half of all trans women prisoners are sex offender. A physically male rapist can be put in a female prison. That’s something to be pissed off at.
The insistence by men that they are women will mean that sex as a legally protected characteristic will stop. So bye bye maternity leave, sex discrimination protection, safe spaces for women, like refuges. That’s something to be pissed off at.

I strongly believe that the idea of gender does no one any good. And that people can wear whatever they want, and should rail against gender based stereotypes.

And through it all, you cannot change sex and you cannot change race. A man with genital surgery and female hormones still has a Y chromosome in almost every cell. They still have a body sculpted by testosterone (as our female athletes will find to their cost.)

It's biology, not feminism, that trumps the legal right to change sex.

You can change your legally declared sex, but you can't change your actual sex.