In not wanting to be a feminist

[tireddotcom72]

I know I’m not alone as have had this conversation with friends but does anyone else feel PC stuff is just going too far now. The gender stuff is confusing me - I’m female always have been always will be and perfectly happy that way I don’t want to identify whatever that means with anything else and change my mind or whatever the gender fluid thing is ( that really confuses me) I’m mum to a daughter - who when younger was a pink, princess, Barbie loving frilly dress wearing child. I loved her wearing pretty dresses and wanting pretty hair. I’ve always worked in female dominated jobs - through choice no one forced me from being little I wanted to be cabin crew, my parents would have preferred me to be a solicitor, accountant or doctor like my siblings but supported my decision to go into the beauty industry because that’s what I was happy doing.
When I was younger I was whistled at in the street, had my bum pinched in nightclubs etc I wasn’t offended or outraged.

I don’t want to live in a genderless world, I don’t want my teenage daughter being in gender neutral changing rooms, I don’t even like being referred to as someone’s partner I’m quite happy being called his girlfriend.

I don’t want to offend anyone with my probably old fashioned views - I’m not even old! But I’m getting fed up of constantly hearing and reading about what I should think and believe, i mean the latest fuss about Sleeping beauty ..... what will pc brigade want to ban next?

And I said if she is what represents feminism I want no part in it

No single person represents feminism. And claiming to not be a feminist as someone you dislike once said something bad is a little silly really.

I am a vegetarian, but some vegetarians say stupid things sometimes and can be militant at times. Doesn't make me any less vegetarian

In what context is this OK:

"I think many men start with a deeply held belief that they are superior and that deference and obedience from a woman is the natural order of things"

You can't think much of men if you think they're all born as mysoginist pricks and we have to fight against them or whatever.

I don't really understand how a woman cannot be a feminist. I'm as good as a man. My daughter is as good as the boys she knows.
I want her to have the same opertinities and the same rights and salary

I don't really know what that has got yo do with dressing in pink etc.

It's like saying the whole of mumsnet is shit because of what that poster in the doghouse says.
Feminism is just about equality. Don't be a feminist off you don't want to be but women fought for generations so that you could vote and not be sacked if you get pregnant and not having to make the coffee because your males boss is a wanker.
It's odd to act as if that doesn't matter because, you know, princesses

Sorry for the rude posters op.

That men believe they're superior and want to keep us down

That's not what you said. It's a different point.

I highly doubt anyone on the Feminist forum made such a sweeping statement - some men do believe they're superior to women unfortunately, and some men really don't want to see equal numbers of women in all workplaces including national governments (NAMALT) - but if they did surely you have the intelligence to put that in the context of individual opinion?

Those individual opinions seem to come from a large number of individuals because I read a lot of stuff like that. I don't want to be represented by people like that or associated with those opinions - but yes I'm still a feminist.

"I think many men start with a deeply held belief that they are superior and that deference and obedience from a woman is the natural order of things"

She's not saying all men, only many - which may well be an exaggeration. It may apply in certain countries, for example. I repeat: but if they did surely you have the intelligence to put that in the context of individual opinion?

They're entitled to their opinions just as you are.

Why are you being represented by people on the internet?

Saying you don't like feminism because you are baffled by the pretty recent wave of transgenderism and gender fluidity makes about as much sense as my DM glaring at my DF's computer or smartphone and saying "I hate technology", but conveniently forgetting about her car, tv, hoover, hairdryer, washing machine etc.

There is a hell of a lot of stuff in your daily life, and in the lives of millions of women and girls, that would not have been possible without feminism.

So... you like 'typically feminine' jobs? Bully for you. Feminism doesn't forbid that, you know. Neither does it forbid your daughter from wearing pink or liking princesses.

What you actually seem to mean is "I disagree with lots of the current views on gender and gender roles". Well guess what, so do lots of feminists!

Things feminism has given you:
The right to vote
The right to own property
The right to not be raped by your husband
The right to have a bank account
Employment and maternity rights
The right to hold a patent in your own name should you invent something
Access to birth control
The right for you (and any children you have) not to be seen as property of a man
A right to education
Equal pay (in theory)

Things misogynists tell you feminists want:
Men to be arrested for daring to approach a woman
For women to have more power than men
To take away men's rights
To distroy families

Actions speak louder than words OP, what exactly from the above list do you find so offensive? Do you want to give your rights up?

'Being a feminist means that you get to have the choice to be pink and frilly, or not.'

• sums it up perfectly.

Can I just point out that from the ops view that mn is populated by the the kind of feminists who want gender neutral facilities - the idea that "everyone knows mn feminism/mn in general is full of transphobic TERFy scum" can't be that well-spread...

In defence of what skaros is saying, here's an analogy:

I believe in God, but I am not a Christian. The reason I am not a Christian is because other Christians are sanctimonious and self righteous and think they can tell others how to worship. I don't want to be on their 'holier than thou' club, but I believe whole heartedly in a God who wants me to do the right thing. So I do, because it's what I believe. Doesn't mean I go to church or sing in a choir to prove my beliefs.

The above is actually true for me as well, not just an analogy

I'd potentially (I am not an expert on religious stuff - and I don't know the detail of your personal beliefs either) argue that there are many "schools" (right word?) of Christianity, so it's possible that your beliefs align with the religion in general, but because of your experience you don't align with a particular church?

So someone could say (as some have in this thread) that their beliefs align with the equality aspect of feminism, but they are not committed to any particular "type" of feminism?

I wouldn't want to be a feminist either if it meant what you think it does

Does that make sense? I don't want it to come across as belittling your religion as (as I said) I'm not an expert (as a heathen myself! )

"In what context is this OK:

"I think many men start with a deeply held belief that they are superior and that deference and obedience from a woman is the natural order of things"

Isn't that just a statement of fact? Many men do think like that. Not all, or most, or even, if you like, the majority. But many.

"'Being a feminist means that you get to have the choice to be pink and frilly, or not.'

• sums it up perfectly."

Not forgetting that being a feminist also means thinking about why you make the choices you do, and making those choices knowing what is behind them.

Hollowtree’s analogy sums it up perfectly.

It’s all well and good people on this particular thread saying I am a feminist because I believe in women’s rights but on other threads I’m being called stupid and ignorant because I care about “menz feelings” and transgender people.

I don’t believe that there should be “women’s spaces” and am perfectly ok with the presence of a penis in the next cubicle to me.

I don’t believe that there should be “women’s spaces” and am perfectly ok with the presence of a penis in the next cubicle to me.

Interesting.

In the UK where women have sex segregation, only 10% of sex crime (98% of which is committed by men, 90% of the victims of which are female) is opportunistic. In India, where there is no sex segregation, 90% of sex crime is opportunistic.

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But sex segregation is a bad thing?

Should I make a badge?