Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

In not wanting to be a feminist

715 replies

tireddotcom72 · 23/11/2017 20:42

I know I’m not alone as have had this conversation with friends but does anyone else feel PC stuff is just going too far now. The gender stuff is confusing me - I’m female always have been always will be and perfectly happy that way I don’t want to identify whatever that means with anything else and change my mind or whatever the gender fluid thing is ( that really confuses me) I’m mum to a daughter - who when younger was a pink, princess, Barbie loving frilly dress wearing child. I loved her wearing pretty dresses and wanting pretty hair. I’ve always worked in female dominated jobs - through choice no one forced me from being little I wanted to be cabin crew, my parents would have preferred me to be a solicitor, accountant or doctor like my siblings but supported my decision to go into the beauty industry because that’s what I was happy doing.
When I was younger I was whistled at in the street, had my bum pinched in nightclubs etc I wasn’t offended or outraged.

I don’t want to live in a genderless world, I don’t want my teenage daughter being in gender neutral changing rooms, I don’t even like being referred to as someone’s partner I’m quite happy being called his girlfriend.

I don’t want to offend anyone with my probably old fashioned views - I’m not even old! But I’m getting fed up of constantly hearing and reading about what I should think and believe, i mean the latest fuss about Sleeping beauty ..... what will pc brigade want to ban next?

OP posts:
annielouise · 24/11/2017 15:02

Skaross - you've said you're not a feminist, yet you now say you've actually campaigned for equal pay, so you are a feminist. So what you on about?

Skarossinkplunger · 24/11/2017 15:03

Because I do not identify with most of the feminists on here and I don’t want to be associated with them. I’m ok with that, why can’t others be?

BeyondAssignation · 24/11/2017 15:03

Liberal feminism is perfectly inclusive of trans, that one thing doesn’t stop you being a type of feminist

hollowtree · 24/11/2017 15:05

And I said if she is what represents feminism I want no part in it. And a huge thank you to those proving me right by having a go. Pull myself together? Oh what a silly overly emotional woman I am. Perhaps I should man up?

If being repeatedly slammed on an online forum is feminism... it can fuck right off.

If it was equality alone and about people feeling genuinely supported to be themselves, I'm all for it.

Enough of the sarcastic "do you agree with rape" comments... I don't know a single person who does. If any of you considered yourselves representatives of feminism you would show people kindness and understanding, that would convince me feminism was a genuine movement for change and togetherness. Not the bitchy "I'm a better person than you" club that it is.

NinonDeLenclos · 24/11/2017 15:07

People here are way bitchier than Reddit.

Really? Red Pill ring any bells? Have you been threatened with murder & gang rape here? - that shit goes on all over the internet.

ifyoucantstandtheheat · 24/11/2017 15:07

hollowtree you are not alone on here, I hear you. As do others.

troodiedoo · 24/11/2017 15:07

I don't identify with a lot of mothers on here. That doesn't mean I'm not one.

YoloSwaggins · 24/11/2017 15:07

@hollowtree, I'm with you.

I believe in equality but disagree with how many women go about things - blaming "the patriarchy" for all their problems and acting like victims because they knowingly decided to take on all the chores and now their husbands are used to it. People need to own their actions, not moan and be bitter at men spouting shit like "all men hate us and want to keep us down".

Plus getting riled up at trans people using womens toilets - I just think there are bigger things to worry about RN. Like, mass extinction, coral bleaching, etc. Social issues of priveleged countries are not the biggest issues when people are dying worldwide.

CisCucumber · 24/11/2017 15:07

? MRA perhaps

annielouise · 24/11/2017 15:08

But you believe in the fundamentals surely so that does make you a feminist Confused. I don't agree with everything everyone has written on here but the fundamentals I think we're all in agreement with. You can't come out with sweeping statements like I'm not a feminist and not expect someone to question it (we're not mind readers and we can't keep everyone's view in mind even if it has been expressed). At least rephrase it and say I believe in equality, I don't particularly like the term feminism for various reasons, but just saying I'm not a feminist without saying anything else might be challenged on a thread such as this.

NinonDeLenclos · 24/11/2017 15:08

Because I do not identify with most of the feminists on here and I don’t want to be associated with them. I’m ok with that, why can’t others be?

That doesn't mean you're not a feminist though so don't lie, simply say the truth that you don't agree with some of the women on MN.

NinonDeLenclos · 24/11/2017 15:11

And I said if she is what represents feminism I want no part in it

As you know that's not true it's meaningless.

Skarossinkplunger · 24/11/2017 15:12

That’s not the truth though. I don’t identify as a feminist and if asked I say I’m not. That’s not a sweeping statement it’s MY view of MY belief system.

IfyouseeRitaMoreno · 24/11/2017 15:14

When I was younger I was whistled at in the street, had my bum pinched in nightclubs etc I wasn’t offended or outraged.

I don’t want to live in a genderless world

Does your definition of masculinity include bum-pinching and catcalling then? Because that’s the logical conclusion of what you’re saying.

NinonDeLenclos · 24/11/2017 15:14

I don’t identify as a feminist and if asked I say I’m not]

I'm not saying you don't identify as one I'm saying you are one regardless of what you claim. Unless you actually don't believe in equality or right for women - is that the case?

annielouise · 24/11/2017 15:14

But you have some feminist views Skaross, you can't deny that (or you can but the facts are there).

Skarossinkplunger · 24/11/2017 15:18

Ok. Here’s what I should have said. “I’m kind of a feminist but I l’m ashamed to admit it”

Skarossinkplunger · 24/11/2017 15:19

Which is ironic as I’ve been told countless times in here that I’m not a feminist!

NinonDeLenclos · 24/11/2017 15:22

I believe in equality but disagree with how many women go about things - blaming "the patriarchy" for all their problems and acting like victims because they knowingly decided to take on all the chores and now their husbands are used to it. People need to own their actions, not moan and be bitter at men spouting shit like "all men hate us and want to keep us down"

You believe in equality you're a feminist, as it is apparently necessary to keep repeating.

As women don't generally blame the patriarchy for "all their problems" I wonder why you believe that to be the case. Women criticise patriarchal structures & beliefs that negatively impact their life - as they should. Neither do women, in my experience, hate men or claim they 'want to keep us down'.

The question is where have you got all this misogynist tripe from?

NinonDeLenclos · 24/11/2017 15:22

“I’m kind of a feminist but I l’m ashamed to admit it”

Well done.

Skarossinkplunger · 24/11/2017 15:23

Thanks.

YoloSwaggins · 24/11/2017 15:23

I have literally read comments like this on the Feminist Chat forum.

That men believe they're superior and want to keep us down. I can link you to the page in a bizzle.

BertrandRussell · 24/11/2017 15:23

Hollowtree, I am very sorry you feel that way.

Anatidae · 24/11/2017 15:25

Being a feminist means you support equality of the sexes.

If you don’t think women should be legally, socially and financially equal to men is love to hear why.

Anatidae · 24/11/2017 15:26

*I have literally read comments like this on the Feminist Chat forum.

That men believe they're superior and want to keep us down. I can link you to the page in a bizzle.*

Yeah I’m on that thread too. You’re quoting that VERY out of context. Disingenuous ma’am

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.