In not wanting to be a feminist

[tireddotcom72]

I know I’m not alone as have had this conversation with friends but does anyone else feel PC stuff is just going too far now. The gender stuff is confusing me - I’m female always have been always will be and perfectly happy that way I don’t want to identify whatever that means with anything else and change my mind or whatever the gender fluid thing is ( that really confuses me) I’m mum to a daughter - who when younger was a pink, princess, Barbie loving frilly dress wearing child. I loved her wearing pretty dresses and wanting pretty hair. I’ve always worked in female dominated jobs - through choice no one forced me from being little I wanted to be cabin crew, my parents would have preferred me to be a solicitor, accountant or doctor like my siblings but supported my decision to go into the beauty industry because that’s what I was happy doing.
When I was younger I was whistled at in the street, had my bum pinched in nightclubs etc I wasn’t offended or outraged.

I don’t want to live in a genderless world, I don’t want my teenage daughter being in gender neutral changing rooms, I don’t even like being referred to as someone’s partner I’m quite happy being called his girlfriend.

I don’t want to offend anyone with my probably old fashioned views - I’m not even old! But I’m getting fed up of constantly hearing and reading about what I should think and believe, i mean the latest fuss about Sleeping beauty ..... what will pc brigade want to ban next?

The point is these are your choices as a woman, and being feminist is about not being treated unequally because you make those choices.

Think of your daughter - feminism says that she can earn equal to man doing the same job, have the same life choices and isn't discriminated against for having a vagina and not a cock.

@PumpkinSquash Don't worry, I thought from one post that you were anti-feminist but having read back I don't think that's the case and you're just making the point that vilifying someone who doesn't understand feminism is not as useful as perhaps trying to educate instead(?)

Christ.

Look at teaching. Who gets promoted quicker, men or women? There are statistics showing that there may be more womenn primary teachers but management roles go to men.

Same with cabin crew.

Look at MP's. Look at the fucking cabinet.

It is NOT a myth. It is true. Women are still overlooked. Women are still judged differently to men.

There are loads of studies from lots of different areas that prove it. It is in everything -language, paradigms everything.

Lola read my posts , I have addressed it!

On this thread? Where?

My comment was that "Oddly enough, not one of the posters who is proud to denounce feminism has commented on whether they would be happy for themselves or their daughters to lose any one of those 'privileges'. I wonder why?"

So, forgive my confusion, but if you 'count [your]self a feminist', how are you also simultaneously classing yourself as 'one of the posters who is proud to denounce feminism'? And where is the post where you address "whether they would be happy for themselves or their daughters to lose any one of those 'privileges'."?

@FreshHerbs

Funnily enough though what you've said in your post is exactly what a lot of feminists think!

The whole unisex changing rooms/not labelling boys and girls/etc isn't coming from feminism...it's coming from trans activists.

The things you're upset about are the exact same things that a lot of the feminist threads on here about 'trans' issues are saying!

I am not bringing my DD as gender neutral. I am bringing her up believing that having her bum pinched is a harassment and no woman with a bit of self-respect considers it a compliment. Also, I don’t think you are real.

I don't think it's a compliment, it's a sad loser thing to do, but I wouldn't automatically think HARASSMENT and report, more likely roll my eyes and forget about it.
Why is someone not real just because it's not your world view?

Ahhhh do you not think when someone comes on saying "I'm not a feminist because I associate it with a load of stuff that it isn't" we'd all do better to be a bit more welcoming and help people realise that they are actually feminists than putting them off further by being snippy to them?

This ^^

and this >> I consider myself a feminist, but I completely understand why some women don't like that label. The tone some of the patronising, condescending replies to the OP are only likely to reinforce her view.

The large majority of posts on this thread are downright fucking horrible, and OMG the irony!!!!!!

Part of me hopes the OP IS a troll, because if she is genuine then she'll be feeling pretty shit right now.

Totally unnecessary and unacceptable behaviour.

Really shocking attitude to have. How you got to be a teacher, if that's what you are, without basic knowledge or any curiosity to expand your knowledge, I don't know. You have no grasp on the concepts. If you don't want to be a feminist then you don't support your DD or any other girl or woman having equal opportunities.

In this day and age the default position as a woman is to be a feminist because otherwise you're saying you want to be subservient to men. You don't have to be strident but every woman is a feminist, otherwise they're self-sabotaging themselves. The rest of what you've wharbled on about is nothing to do with feminism. Bloody hell .

In this day and age the default position as a woman is to be a feminist because otherwise you're saying you want to be subservient to men.

So why not educate to what being a feminist actually IS instead of shouting down or accusing of being a man like has happened on this thread?
Educate to the shit that is going on lately. Confusing to all who don't come across it in RL, myself included!

venello thank you for common sense!

Oh FFS Pumpkin - she has the internet, she can educate herself about it. I know 8 year olds with a better grasp of feminism than the OP. Why is it down to me to educate her? Anyway, I and others have pointed out the basic issues. How can she not know the basics?!

There we go OP:

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Feminism

Pumpkin 100% agree

OP original post was mainly about this gender fluid crap and wanting to raise her child as a girl/woman the way most of us were raised. The feminists have all just jumped on her. I'm all for women's rights but this gender crap I'm not, it's confusing and very unsettling for the future. Bit shocked at the comments to the OP but everyone's entitled to their opinion. I'm off now to have some fun with my man .......Have a good war between yourselves ladies
Night x

The OP should be ashamed of herself. And justifiably has been scorched ever so slightly on this thread.

Oh FFS Pumpkin - she has the internet, she can educate herself about it.

FFS yourself - we're ON the fkn internet, where better to ask then on Mumsnet with real people and real opinions? Asking google will get you a load of articles, papers, blah blah but not real opinions and real knowledge and real world views and real experiences. Lots of clever people on here, which is just as much valid as any published paper or article! If not more so as some on google will have their own bias or agenda.

I couldn’t believe it either Mogul, it all happened so quickly, I turned round and bang, didn’t even get to speak, didn’t know what happened until I felt liquid running down chin and saw barman telling man that was ‘a bit too much’ and directing him to other room, dh was walking back in just as he punched me and tried to run over to comfort me and check I and baby were ok, but security stopped him. He wanted to get to me to check he hadn’t punched me in stomach but they thought he’d hit the man back so wouldn’t let him in and told me to go outside to see my dh. I get pissed off at myself now because at the time I was scared and just wanted to go home and feel safe, really wish I’d stood ground with bouncers and insist they let dh with me while we wait for police.

If you google Feminism right now you probably WILL get a bunch of DM articles about genderless aliens

FreshHerb - you will be pleased to learn that many feminists agree with all the concerns you outlined in your first post. And many also have men to enjoy the evening with too

I know 8 year olds with a better grasp of feminism than the OP.

No, you really, really don't. Unless you mean ones you've brainwashed personally as no 8 year old learns all this on the national curriculum.

I don't think it's either or in terms of feminist or not. I do think that there are too many people out there telling women what to do. Deciding who is too feminine, etc. So you do whatever you want.

I know 8 year olds with a better grasp of feminism than the OP.

No, you really, really don't. Unless you mean ones you've brainwashed personally as no 8 year old learns all this on the national curriculum.

Mine should read Unless you mean ones you've brainwashed personally or others have as no 8 year old learns all this on the national curriculum

I do think that there are too many people out there telling women what to do

Definitely.

And the replies on here explain why you feel the way you do!! Actually I think some of the people who replied to say yabu dont get feminism either and are patronising twats. I thought as a feminist you are supposed to empower a woman to think for herself and live the way she wishes not to please another person? But apparently not, apparently that is only as long as they think like you and want what you do.
Op., I think the use of the term not wanting to be a feminist was misguided but actually I'm like you. I hate gender neutral trend at the moment and d ont really get it - if a girl should be able to like dinosaurs and blue then why thr need for gender neuyrsl clothes, why not buy clothes from the 'boy' section?? I'd love nothing more than to be a sahm and all I ever wanted was a happy marriage and kids. Doesn't mean I'm incapable of encouraging my daughter to shoot for own goals but also doesn't mean I'm less of a woman for my dreams. Wanting to be girly isnt vomit and i agree, complaining 10 years after a man touched your knee is pathetic and makes a mockery of people who have actually been subjected to abuse. I want equal rights but I'm able to see and celebrate that men and women are different too, I like that.
The reason people hate the term feminist is because of the way many look down on anyone who doesn't share their sense of injustice as this thread has proved

Unless you mean ones you've brainwashed personally as no 8 year old learns all this on the national curriculum

Well that’s just not true. My 8 year old has often come home from school, telling me about various class discussions around busting gender stereotypes, equality, discrimination. I hear her group of girl mates talking a lot about how “girls can....

I’m raising a strong, self confident girl who knows she can make choices based on what she wants rather than what is expected. She loves space and science. She also loves sparkles, princesses and unicorns. She knows about feminism and suffragettes and how society has changed over the past few decades. It is possible to educate a child without brainwashing them.